Bruce Campbell
Highest Rated:
100%
Time Warp: The Greatest Cult Films of All-Time Volume 2: Horror and Sci-Fi (2020)
Birthday:
Birthplace:
Birmingham, Michigan, USA
A self-described B-movie actor, Bruce Campbell can claim to have scaled the casualty-littered mountain of cult movie stardom. First attaining more notoriety than fame for his performance in Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead (1983), which he also executive produced, Campbell went on to star in that movie's two sequels and a number of other schlock-tastic films. He has also occasionally ventured into more reputable territory, thanks to such films as the Coen brothers' The Hudsucker Proxy (1994).Hailing from Royal Oak, MI, where he was born June 22, 1958, Campbell attended Western Michigan University. When he was only 21, he and two of his Detroit friends, Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert, scraped together 350,000 dollars to make a low-budget horror film. The result, completed piecemeal over four years, was The Evil Dead, an exuberantly awful piece of filmmaking that featured Campbell as its demon-battling hero. The film first earned notoriety in England, and after being personally endorsed by author Stephen King when it was screened at Cannes, it was eventually released in the U.S. in 1983.The Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn followed in 1987, and the third installment in the series, Army of Darkness, was released in 1992. Both were enthusiastically embraced by fans of the series and less so by critics, but one thing that impressed both groups was Campbell's work in both films, thanks in part to his uncanny ability to make it through an entire performance without blinking once.In addition to the Evil Dead films, Campbell has acted in a number of other low-budget films, and, in the case of the Coens' The Hudsucker Proxy and a blink-and-you-miss-it cameo in Fargo (1996), a handful of fairly respectable projects as well. He has also acted frequently on television, most notably in the weekly Western The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. and Jack of all Trades. In 2001 Campbell made his literary debut with If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor. A humorously detailed account of his rise to B-movie stardom, If Chins Could Kill detailed, among other things, Campbell's uniquely diverse fanbase as well as his relationship with longtime friend and frequent collaborator Sam Raimi. When fans embraced the freewheeling semi-autobiography with more zeal than even Campbell himself may have anticipated, a succesful speaking tour was soon followed by a sophomore novel, the satirical Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way. A highly fictionalized look at what it may be like for Campbell to land a substantial role in a high-profile Hollywood production, Make Love the Bruce Campbell way found the sarcastic B-movie idol hobnobbing with co-star Richard Gere and offering directorial advice to veteran director Mike Nichols. Yet Campbell was hardly one to forget where his bread was truly buttered, and following his brief literary detour, it was time to head back to the big screen for a pair of memorable cameos in pal Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, the longtime actor and emerging producer was finally ready to make his feature directorial debut with the outlandish sci-fi comedy The Man with the Screaming Brain. Despite helming the occasional Xena and Hewrcules episode, Campbell had yet to tackle feature films and when the opportunity arose to direct a script that he himself had written, everything just seemed to fall into place. Though the critics weren't so kind, fans were more than willing to indulge as their favorite film and television star finally got a chance to shine on his own. After voicing his most famous character in a pair of Evil Dead videogames, it was finally time for Campbell to return to the role of Ash on the big screen - albiet in a decidedly meta-manner - when he stepped into the role of an actor named Bruce Campbell who is mistaken for the demon-slayer that he played in the movies and forced to to battle with the legions of hell in the 2006 horror comedy They Call Me Bruce; a film that also afforded Campbell his sophomore feature directorial cred
Photos
Highest Rated Movies
Filmography
MOVIES
RATING | TITLE | CREDIT | BOX OFFICE | YEAR |
---|---|---|---|---|
100% | Time Warp: The Greatest Cult Films of All-Time Volume 2: Horror and Sci-Fi |
|
— | 2020 |
83% | Hail to the Deadites |
|
— | 2020 |
No Score Yet | All Hail the Popcorn King |
|
— | 2020 |
100% | To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story |
|
— | 2018 |
No Score Yet | 50 Years of Star Trek |
|
— | 2016 |
No Score Yet | The Escort |
|
— | 2015 |
5% | The Color of Time |
|
— | 2014 |
91% | Doc Of The Dead |
|
— | 2014 |
63% | Evil Dead |
|
$54.2M | 2013 |
57% | Oz the Great and Powerful |
|
$235M | 2013 |
40% | Cars 2 |
|
$191.5M | 2011 |
90% | Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe |
|
— | 2011 |
No Score Yet | The Walking Dead Girls |
|
— | 2011 |
86% | Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs |
|
$124.9M | 2009 |
38% | My Name Is Bruce |
|
$0.2M | 2007 |
63% | Spider-Man 3 |
|
$336.6M | 2007 |
48% | Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters |
|
$5.5M | 2007 |
67% | The Woods |
|
— | 2006 |
62% | The Ant Bully |
|
$28.1M | 2006 |
No Score Yet | Touch the Top of the World |
|
— | 2006 |
73% | Sky High |
|
$64M | 2005 |
33% | Man with the Screaming Brain |
|
— | 2005 |
No Score Yet | Alien Apocalypse |
|
— | 2005 |
No Score Yet | Making the Amazing (Making the Amazing: Spider-Man 2) |
|
— | 2004 |
93% | Spider-Man 2 |
|
$373.4M | 2004 |
No Score Yet | Blood Drive II |
|
— | 2004 |
No Score Yet | Spider-Man 2.1 (Extended Cut) |
|
— | 2004 |
79% | Bubba Ho-Tep |
|
— | 2003 |
No Score Yet | Time Quest |
|
— | 2003 |
No Score Yet | Masters of Horror |
|
— | 2002 |
No Score Yet | Terminal Invasion |
|
— | 2002 |
4% | Serving Sara |
|
$16.9M | 2002 |
90% | Spider-Man |
|
$403.8M | 2002 |
No Score Yet | Hatred of a Minute |
|
— | 2002 |
No Score Yet | Fanalysis |
|
— | 2002 |
42% | The Majestic |
|
— | 2001 |
No Score Yet | The Ice Rink |
|
— | 2000 |
No Score Yet | Icebreaker |
|
— | 1999 |
9% | From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money |
|
— | 1999 |
27% | Double Jeopardy |
|
— | 1999 |
No Score Yet | Goldrush: A Real Life Alaskan Adventure |
|
— | 1998 |
No Score Yet | Menno's Mind |
|
— | 1997 |
No Score Yet | The Love Bug |
|
— | 1997 |
3% | McHale's Navy |
|
— | 1997 |
No Score Yet | Running Time |
|
— | 1997 |
53% | John Carpenter's Escape from L.A. |
|
— | 1996 |
No Score Yet | Tornado! |
|
— | 1996 |
94% | Fargo |
|
— | 1996 |
22% | Congo |
|
— | 1995 |
17% | The Demolitionist |
|
— | 1995 |
59% | The Quick and the Dead |
|
— | 1995 |
59% | The Hudsucker Proxy |
|
— | 1994 |
73% | Army of Darkness |
|
— | 1993 |
No Score Yet | Mindwarp |
|
— | 1992 |
No Score Yet | Lunatics: A Love Story |
|
— | 1992 |
No Score Yet | Chiller Theatre |
|
— | 1992 |
No Score Yet | Waxwork II: Lost in Time |
|
— | 1991 |
No Score Yet | Easy Wheels |
|
— | 1990 |
60% | Maniac Cop 2 |
|
— | 1990 |
No Score Yet | Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat |
|
— | 1990 |
84% | Darkman |
|
— | 1990 |
No Score Yet | Moontrap |
|
— | 1989 |
No Score Yet | Intruder |
|
— | 1989 |
No Score Yet | The Dead Next Door |
|
— | 1989 |
50% | Maniac Cop |
|
— | 1988 |
95% | Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn |
|
— | 1987 |
No Score Yet | Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except |
|
— | 1987 |
50% | Crimewave |
|
— | 1986 |
No Score Yet | Going Back |
|
— | 1983 |
95% | The Evil Dead |
|
— | 1981 |
No Score Yet | Within the Woods |
|
— | 1978 |
TV
RATING | TITLE | CREDIT | YEAR |
---|---|---|---|
No Score Yet |
The Last Kids on Earth
2019-2020
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Last Call With Carson Daly
2007-2019
|
|
|
99% |
Ash vs Evil Dead
2015-2018
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
@midnight With Chris Hardwick
2014-2017
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
|
|
|
41% |
1600 Penn
2012-2013
|
|
|
88% |
Burn Notice
2007-2013
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
My Life as a Teenage Robot
2008
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Charmed
1998-2006
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
V.I.P.
1998-2004
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Jack of All Trades
2000
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Stargate SG-1
1997-2007
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Xena: Warrior Princess
1995-2001
|
|
|
74% |
The X-Files
1993-2018
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
1995-1999
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Ellen
1994-1998
|
|
|
91% |
Homicide: Life on the Street
1993-1999
|
|
|
86% |
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
1993-1997
|
|
|
91% |
The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.
1993-1994
|
|
|
Quotes from Bruce Campbell's Characters
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Groovy! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Honey! You got real ugly! |
Elvis Presley: | Uh, Mr. President... You're on the floor. |
John "Jack" Fitzgerald Kennedy: | No shit? |
Elvis Presley: | Now the two key words for tonight - "caution" and "flammable". |
John "Jack" Fitzgerald Kennedy: | Also "watch your ass". |
Duke Henry: | Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Nope. Just me baby... Just me |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Nope. Just me baby. Just me |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hold it... nobody said anything about three books. Like, like what am I supposed to do - take one book, or all books, or what? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hold it. Nobody said anything about three books. Like, like what am I supposed to do - take one book, or all books, or what? |
Knight: | He has fallen from the sky to save us from the deadites, he's a hero! (all knights shouting hero) |
Knight: | He has fallen from the sky to save us from the deadites, he's a hero! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | No.No. NO! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | No. No. No! |
Possessed Witch: | I'll swallow your soul! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Come get some! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! |
Elvis Presley: | Come and get it, you undead sack of s^#@. |
Sheila/Evil Sheila: | You found me beautiful once... |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Honey, you got real ugly... |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | This... is my boomstick! |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Aaaaaah! |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Now The Sun Will Be Up In An Hour Or So, And We Can All Get Out Of Here Together. |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Now the sun will be up in an hour or so, and we can all get out of here together. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Shop smart, shop S-Mart |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Shop smart, shop S-Mart! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Yo...she bitch...Lets go |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | [to the Witch] Yo, she-bitch! Let's go! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hail to the king, baby. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | You bastards! Give me back my hand! |
Possessed Henrietta: | Hey! I'll swallow your soul! Swallow your soul! Swallow your soul! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Swallow this! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Gimme some sugar, baby. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | "Swallow this" |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Swallow this. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hail to the king baby!!!! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hail to the king baby! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Shop smart, shop S-mart |
Surgeon General of Beverly Hills: | [the Surgeon General gropes Taslima's breasts] My God, they're real! |
Shelly: | [about Cheryl] Why does she keep making those horrible noises? |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | I don't know! |
Shelly: | Look at her eyes. Look at her eyes! For God's sake, what happened to her eyes? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Alright, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | This is my BOOM STICK! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | (as the narrator) Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Name's Ash. Housewares. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | You ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and sh*t, and Jack left town. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Yo, she-b*tch. Let's go. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | (Bad Ash) Hee hee hee! I'm Bad Ash. And your Good Ash! Hee hee hee! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | (shoots Bad Ash) I'm not that good. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | This... is my... BOOMSTICK!! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | This... is my... BOOMSTICK! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Groovy. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Gimme back my hand... GIMME BACK MY HAND! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Groovy! |
Bruce Campbell: | Jeff, I just have one request |
Jeff: | Anything Bruce. |
Bruce Campbell: | Next time you unleash an ancient demon, call that Buffy chick. |
Bruce Campbell: | Where in the heck did you find this Evil Dead shampoo? |
Jeff: | Bruce, that's drain cleaner. |
Bruce Campbell: | Well, I guess that would explain the burning sensation. |
Bruce Campbell: | You know Jeff, I've gotten a lot of use out of chainsaws over the years. Killed a lot a zombies, saved a lot of lives, but at the end of the day when push comes to shove... they're just too damn heavy. |
Bruce Campbell: | Consider yourself officially exempt from my wrath sweetcakes, and if you're lucky a little later I'll let you play with my boomstick. |
Linda: | I feel funny about being here. What if the people who own the place come home? |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | They're not gonna come back. Even if they do we'll tell them the car broke down or something like that. |
Linda: | With your car, they'd believe it. |
Linda: | Please Ash... please don't hurt me. You swore- you swore that we'd always be together. I love you |
Linda: | Please Ash... please don't hurt me. You swore- you swore that we'd always be together. I love you. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Noooo! |
Linda: | Yah! Your lover is mine and now she burns in Hell. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Damn it! I said I was alright! Are you listening to me? You hear what I'm saying? I'm alright!.. I'm alright.. |
Annie Knowby: | OK, maybe you are. But for how long? If we're going to beat this thing, we need those pages. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Then let's head down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch. |
Jake: | Uh-huh. That's right. I'm running the show now. We're going to go out there in them woods and look for Bobby Joe. Once we find her we're getting the hell out of here. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | No you idiot! You'll kill us all. She's dead by now. Don't you understand? With these pages, at least we have a chance. |
Jake: | Bunch of mumbo jumbo bullshit! These pages don't mean squat! |
Annie Knowby: | What's wrong? |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Felt like someone just walked over my grave. What's that picture? What is that? |
Annie Knowby: | In 1300 AD they called this man the, ah, hero from the sky. He was prophesied to have destroyed the Evil. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Didn't do a very good job... |
Jake: | What the hell is it? |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Maybe something... something trying to force its way into our world. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | There's something out there. That... that witch in the cellar is only part of it. It lives... out in those woods, in the dark... something... something that's come back from the dead. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | We'll all go in together.. |
Jake: | Hell no! You're the curious one. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | For God's sake! How do you stop it?! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Hey, what do you say we have some champagne, huh baby? |
Linda: | Sure. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... at least last time I checked. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Give me back my hand... GIVE ME BACK MY HAND!! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Give me back my hand... GIVE ME BACK MY HAND! |
Possessed Henrietta: | I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Swallow this. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | We just killed our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound 'fine'? |
Maitre d': | Name, please? |
Peter Parker/Spider-Man: | Parker, Peter. |
Maitre d': | Ahh, there we are... table for two, Pecker... |
Peter Parker/Spider-Man: | Parker... |
Maitre d': | That is what I said, Pecker! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hail to the king baby |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hail to the king baby. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | [Pointing at Linda's head] "Your goin' down!" |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | [pointing at Linda's head] You're goin' down. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | All right you primitive screwheads, listen up... see this? This... is my BOOM stick! |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | (talking about Bobby Joe) If she's gone into those woods, you can forget about her... |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | [talking about Bobby Joe] If she's gone into those woods, you can forget about her... |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Who's laughing now!? |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Who's laughing now? |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Work-shed! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun. |
Coach Boomer: | SIDEKICK! [screaming angrily to Will] |
Coach Boomer: | Sidekick! [screaming to Will] |
Coach Boomer: | I'm Coach Boomer. You may know me as Sonic Boom. You may not. |
Ash Ashley J. Williams: | Groovy! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun. |
Sheila/Evil Sheila: | But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all. |
Duke Henry: | You Sir, are not one of my vassals...who are you? |
Duke Henry: | You Sir, are not one of my vassals. Who are you? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Who wants to know? |
Duke Henry: | I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of Northlands and leader of its peoples. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit...and Jack left town. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit, and Jack left town. |
Mayor Shelbourne: | Who needs the approval of one family member when you can have it from millions of acquaintances? |
Mayor Shelbourne: | Now our towns hero and my metaphorical son, Flint Lockwood. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | It's a trick. Get an axe. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Give me some sugar baby. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Groovy. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? |
Shelly: | (about Cheryl) - Why does she keep making those horrible noises? |
Shelly: | (about Cheryl) Why does she keep making those horrible noises? |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | I don't know! |
Shelly: | Look at her eyes. Look at her eyes! For Gods, sake what happened to her eyes?! |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Now the sun will be up in an hour or so, and we can all get out of here together. You, me, Linda, Shelly. Hmm...Well... not Shelly, she? We'll all be going home together. Wouldn't you like to be going home? I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, Scott? |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Now the sun will be up in an hour or so, and we can all get out of here together. You, me, Linda, Shelly. Hmm, Well, not Shelly, she? We'll all be going home together. Wouldn't you like to be going home? I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, Scott? |
Linda: | Hey, Ash! I guessed the card right! |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Yeah...truly amazing. |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | Yeah, truly amazing. |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | We can't bury Shelly - S-She's a friend of ours. |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | We can't bury Shelly. S-She's a friend of ours. |
Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: | You bastards! Why are you torturing me like this? Why? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | It took Linda. - And then it came for me. It got into my hand and it went bad. So I lopped it off at the wrist. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | It took Linda. And then it came for me. It got into my hand and it went bad. So I lopped it off at the wrist. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Hail to the king, baby. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store. |
Possessed Witch: | Who the hell are you? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Name's Ash...Housewares. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Name's Ash, Housewares. |
Possessed Witch: | I'll swallow your soul. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Come get some. |
Sheila/Evil Sheila: | You found me beautiful once. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Honey, you got real ugly. |
Sheila/Evil Sheila: | But what of the things that we've shared? What of all the sweet words that you spoke in private? |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Well, that's just what we call "pillow talk," baby. That's all. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Well, that's just what we call 'pillow talk,' baby. That's all. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | (as a soldier blocks his way, he pushes him aside) Get the f**k out of my face! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Ooh, wait a minute. The words...All right, all right, all right. Say the words. Klaatu...barada...Iu -necktie. Nectar, n-- nickel. Noodle. It's an "N" word. It's definitely an "N" word. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Ooh, wait a minute. The words. All right, all right, all right. Say the words. Klaatu...barada...Iu -necktie. Nectar, n-- nickel. Noodle. It's an 'N' word. It's definitely an 'N' word. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Ooh, wait a minute. The words. All right, all right, all right. Say the words. Klaatu...barada...Iu necktie. Nectar, n - nickel. Noodle. It's an 'N' word. It's definitely an 'N' word. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | I'm bad Ash, and you're good Ash. You're goody little two-shoes. You're goody little two-shoes goody little two-shoes. Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Okay, little fella, here's a little hot chocolate for ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | London Bridge is falling down...Falling down...Falling down... Mini-Evil Ashes: My fair lady - Ha! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | London Bridge is falling down. Falling down. Falling down. Mini-Evil Ashes, My fair lady. Ha! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with...molecular structures. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with, molecular structures. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Groovy. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Yo, she-bitch! Let's go! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Gimme some sugar, baby. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | What? Were you raised in a barn? Shut the door! Probably was raised in a barn, along with the other primitives. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me...Blow. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me, Blow. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? - This is my boom stick! It's a 12-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-mart...You got that?!! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boom stick! It's a 12-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-mart. You got that?! |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Wait a minute. Hold it. W-Wait a minute. You gotta understand, man. I never even saw these a**holes before. |
Ash (Ashley J. Williams): | Well, hello, Mr. Fancy Pants. I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now. Jack and sh*t, and Jack left town. |