Jason Segel

Highest Rated: 95% The Muppets (2011)

Lowest Rated: 10% Slackers (2002)

Birthday: Jan 18, 1980

Birthplace: Not Available

Born January 18th, 1980, the first decade or so of Jason Segel's career as a Hollywood actor, he spent his time earning cult-favorite status -- beginning with the jet-black comedy Dead Man on Campus (1998), then the NBC comedy drama Freaks and Geeks (1999). Segel subsuquently achieved broader recognition for his long-running performance as Marshall on the beloved sitcom How I Met Your Mother. He also played Jason in the big-screen feature Knocked Up (2007), Judd Apatow's uproarious follow-up to The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Fresh off his success in Knocked Up, Segel parlayed his newfound wide-scale popularity into the ultimate chance to showcase his skills, writing and starring in the side splitting romantic comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), alongside Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, and Russell Brand.The massively succesful film also featured a supporting performance by funnyman Paul Rudd, who reteamed with Segal for 2009's buddy comedy I Love You, Man. Having found a niche with audiences, the actor next picked up another tonally similar comedy, appearing with Cameron Diaz in the sharp witted, hard-R rated Bad Teacher in 2011. Later that same year, Segal showcased his talents on both sides of the camera yet again, writing the script for a reboot of Jim Henson's beloved Muppets, and starring in the film alongside the furry stars as well. As Segal geared up for 2012, he signed on to star alongside Emily Blunt in the romantic comedy A Five Year Engagement.

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Highest Rated Movies

The Muppets
95%
The End Of The Tour
92%

Filmography

MOVIES

RATING	TITLE	CREDIT	BOX OFFICE	YEAR
No Score Yet	One World: Together at Home	Actor	—	2020
85%	Our Friend	Dane	—	2020
No Score Yet	The Billion Brick Race	Screenwriter	—	2019
68%	Come Sunday	Henry	—	2018
92%	The End Of The Tour	David Foster Wallace	—	2015
No Score Yet	Despicable Me 2: 3 Mini-Movie Collection	Actor	—	2015
16%	Sex Tape	Screenwriter Executive Producer Jay	$34.3M	2014
51%	This Is 40	Jason	$65.2M	2012
64%	The Five-Year Engagement	Screenwriter Tom Solomon Executive Producer	$28.7M	2012
77%	Jeff Who Lives at Home	Jeff	$4.3M	2012
95%	The Muppets	Screenwriter Gary Executive Producer	$88.7M	2011
45%	Bad Teacher	Russell Gettis	$100.3M	2011
20%	Gulliver's Travels	Horatio	$42.8M	2010
81%	Despicable Me	Vector	$251.5M	2010
72%	Get Him to the Greek	Producer	$61M	2010
83%	I Love You, Man	Sydney Fife	$71.3M	2009
83%	Forgetting Sarah Marshall	Screenwriter Peter Bretter	$63M	2008
89%	Knocked Up	Jason	$148.8M	2007
No Score Yet	The Good Humor Man	Smelly Bob	—	2005
No Score Yet	LolliLove	Jason	—	2004
64%	Die Mommie Die!	Larry the Hippie	—	2003
92%	11:14	Leon	—	2003
10%	Slackers	Sam	$4.9M	2002
15%	Dead Man on Campus	Kyle	—	1998
41%	Can't Hardly Wait	Watermelon Guy	—	1998
63%	SLC Punk	Mike	—	1998

TV

RATING	TITLE	CREDIT	YEAR
No Score Yet	Conan 2010	Guest	2021 2015 2014 2012 2011 2010
86%	Dispatches from Elsewhere 2020	Peter Executive Producer	2020
No Score Yet	The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 2015	Guest	2020 2017
83%	How I Met Your Mother 2005-2014	Marshall	2019 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005
No Score Yet	The View 1997	Guest	2018 2012
No Score Yet	Today 2017-2019	Guest Actor	2017
No Score Yet	The Late Late Show With James Corden 2015	Guest	2017 2015
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2014	Guest	2017 2015 2014
No Score Yet	Variety Studio: Actors on Actors 2015-2019	Guest	2016
No Score Yet	Late Night With Seth Meyers 2014	Guest	2015
No Score Yet	Charlie Rose 2013-2017	Guest	2015 2002
No Score Yet	Inside the Actors Studio 1994-2019	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	Late Show With David Letterman 1993-2015	Guest	2014 2012 2011
No Score Yet	The Talk 2010	Guest	2014 2011
No Score Yet	The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2003	Host Guest	2014 2012 2008
No Score Yet	Comment je l'ai rencontrée 2005-2013	Marshall Marshall Eriksen	2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005
No Score Yet	CBS This Morning 2012	Guest	2012
No Score Yet	The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1999-2015	Guest	2012
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show With Jay Leno 1992-2014	Guest	2012 2011 2010
No Score Yet	Saturday Night Live 1975	Performer	2011
No Score Yet	Late Night With Jimmy Fallon 2009-2014	Guest	2010 2009
No Score Yet	Family Guy 1999	Voice	2009
No Score Yet	CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 2000-2015	Neil Jansen	2005 2004 2001
93%	Undeclared 2001-2002	Eric	2003 2002 2001
100%	Freaks and Geeks 1999-2000	Nick	2000 1999
No Score Yet	How I Met Your Mother	Marshall

Quotes from Jason Segel's Characters

Jay:	It's a game.. Called breaking in and entering
Jay:	It's a game..called breaking in and entering.

Vector:

Oh poop.

Jay:	Siri, how do you give CPR, to a dog?

Gary:	So you guys aren't getting back together?
Kermit:	[sadly] No.
Kermit:	No.
Mary:	This is going to be a really short movie.

Jeff:

I watched signs again last night.

Vector:

Curse you tiny toilet!

Jay:	I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason:	You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!

Jason:	I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone:	We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason:	It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

Jason:

You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.

Surfing Instructor:	If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter:	Yeah, probably.

Jason:	What's the difference between a straight mustache and a gay mustache? The Smell.
Jason:	What's the difference between a straight mustache and a gay mustache? The smell.

Edith:	What are you warming up for?
Vector:	Stuff.
Margo:	What sort of stuff?
Vector:	Super cool stuff you wouldn't understand.
Agnes:	Like sleeping?
Vector:	They are not pyjamas!

Agnes:	Why are you wearing pyjamas?
Vector:	This aren't pyjamas! Is a warm up suit.

Peter Klaven:	She was pretty hot.
Sydney Fife:	Ya, I fucked her.

Vector:	You wanted to see me dad.
Mr. Perkins:	Oh yes, come in Victor.
Vector:	Actually, Victor was my nerd name. [Stands up] Now its Vector!
Mr. Perkins:	Sit down!

Tom:	I want to be alone, but I want you here.

Jeff:	I told you I dont believe in fighting.
Pat:	Oh yeah, because your a pussy.
Jeff:	Was Gandhi a pussy?

Jeff:

Everyone and Everything is interconnected in the universe. Stay pure of heart and you will see the signs. Follow the signs and you will find your destiny.

Walter:	Wow Gary, I think it's so cool you're taking Mary to Los Angeles! I can't believe you guys have been dating for ten years!
Gary:	Well, yeah, Mary wanted to do something really special for our 10th anniversary, and she's always wanted to go to Los Angeles!
Walter:	Make sure and send me a postcard from the muppet studios!

Vector:

Curse you, tiny toilet!

Jeff:	This Porsche is tiny.
Pat:	The Porsche is normal sized--you're a Sasquatch.
Jeff:	Are those workout gloves?
Pat:	Uh, I don't think so, they came with the car, so...

Jeff:

Shit is alive!

Gary:	Life's a fillet o' fish.
Gary:	Yes it is!

Jeff:

You ever feel like you were waiting for ever to figure out what your destiny is?

Gary:	"I'm a muppety man"
Gary:	I'm a muppety man.

Gary:	Mary! Surprise! I figured out why you were mad at...[realizes she's gone]...me.
Gary:	Mary! Surprise! I figured out why you were mad at... [realizes she's gone] ...me.

Peter Bretter:

Oh, wedding in Hawaii! Real original!

Gary:	"It's time to light the lights."
Gary:	It's time to light the lights.

Gary:

Growing up is becoming who you want to be.

Gary:

Am I a man or a muppet?

Gary:	I'm a Muppet of a Man
Gary:	I'm a muppet of a man.

Gary:	Sooner or later you have to believe in yourself
Gary:	Sooner or later you're going to have to believe in yourself..

Brian:	YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Peter Bretter:	You shall not pass!

Russell Gettis:

It's the only argument I need Shawn!

Russell Gettis:	Twilight, What did we talk about in class? Don?t throw at her. Throw through her.
Russell Gettis:	Twilight, what did we talk about in class? Don't throw it at her, throw it through her.

Russell Gettis:	Hey do want to go out some time?
Elizabeth:	Are you still a gym teacher?
Russell Gettis:	Yeah.
Elizabeth:	Then fuck off.
Russell Gettis:	Okay. That went awesome.

Elizabeth:	Sign my yearbook?
Russell Gettis:	Hold my balls.
Russell Gettis:	Hold my ball sack.

Sydney Fife:	HI.
Sydney Fife:	Hi.
Hailey:	I'm good. I know you didn't ask but I'm good.
Sydney Fife:	Okay.
Hailey:	Just in case you were going to ask.

Sydney Fife:	I will see you there, or I will see you on another time
Sydney Fife:	I will see you there, or I will see you on another time.
Peter Klaven:	I will see you there, or I will see you on another time.
Peter Klaven:	Okay...now I'm confused. I don't know whether you're coming or not.
Peter Klaven:	That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
Sydney Fife:	That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
Sydney Fife:	No, I'll be there.
Peter Klaven:	No, I'll be there.

Sydney Fife:

This is the man cave, there's no women allowed in here. I got a jerk-off station for God's sake.

Jason:	She looks really... smart.
Jason:	She looks really, smart.
Pete:	You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth
Pete:	You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother, Gabe Ruth