John Cleese
Birthday:
Birthplace:
Weston-super-Mare, Somerset, England
An instigator of some of the more groundbreaking developments in twentieth-century comedy, John Cleese is one of Britain's best-known actors, writers, and comedians. Famous primarily for his comic efforts, such as the television series Fawlty Towers and the exploits of the Monty Python troupe, he has also become a well-respected actor in his own right.Born John Marwood Cleese (after his family changed their surname from "Cheese") on October 27, 1939, Cleese grew up in the middle-class seaside resort town of Weston-Super-Mare. He enrolled at Cambridge University with the intention of studying law, but soon discovered that his comic leanings held greater sway than his interest in the law. He joined the celebrated Cambridge Footlights Society--he was initially rejected because he could neither sing nor dance, but was accepted after collaborating with a friend on some comedy sketches--where he gained a reputation as a team player and met future writing partner and Python Graham Chapman.Cleese entered professional comedy with a writing stint on David Frost's The Frost Report in 1966. While working for that BBC show, he and Chapman (who was also writing for the show) met fellow Frost Report writers Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Continuing his writing collaboration with Chapman (with whom he wrote the 1969 Ringo Starr/Peter Sellers vehicle The Magic Christian), Cleese soon was working on what would become Monty Python's Flying Circus with Chapman, Idle, Jones, Palin, and Terry Gilliam. The show, which first aired in 1969, was an iconoclastic look at British society: its genius lay in its seemingly random, bizarre take on the mundane facets of everyday life, from Spam to pet shops to the simple act of walking. Cleese stayed with Monty Python for three series; after he left, he reunited with his fellow Pythons for three movies. The first, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974), was a revisionist take on the Arthurian legend that featured Cleese as (among other things) the Black Knight, who refuses to end his duel with King Arthur even after losing his arms and legs. Life of Brian followed in 1979; a look at one of history's lesser-known messiahs, it featured lepers, space aliens, and condemned martyrs singing a rousing version of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" while hanging from their crucifixes. The Pythons' third outing, the 1983 Monty Python's the Meaning of Life, was a series of increasingly outrageous vignettes, including one about the explosion of a stupendously obese man and another featuring a dinner party with Death.In addition to his work with the Pythons, Cleese, along with first wife Connie Booth, created the popular television series Fawlty Towers in 1975. It ran for a number of years, during which time Cleese also continued to make movies. Throughout the 1980s, he showed up in films ranging from The Great Muppet Caper (1981) to Privates on Parade (1982) to Silverado (1985), which cast him as an Old West villain. In 1988, Cleese struck gold with A Fish Called Wanda, which he wrote, produced, and starred in. An intoxicating farce, the film won both commercial and critical success, earning Cleese a British Academy Award and an Oscar nomination for his screenplay, and an Oscar for co-star Kevin Kline. Cleese continued to work steadily through the 1990s, appearing in Splitting Heirs (1993) with Idle, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994), The Wind in the Willows (1997) and George of the Jungle (1997). Fierce Creatures, his 1997 sequel to A Fish Called Wanda, proved a disappointment, but Cleese maintained his visibility, reuniting with the surviving Pythons on occasion and starring in The Out-of-Towners and The World is Not Enough, the nineteenth Bond outing, in 1999.As the new century got underway, Cleese wrote and hosted a documentary series about the human face, and he took a small but recurring role in the Harry Potter film series. In 2002 he appeared in the infamous Eddie Murphy turkey The Adventures of
Photos
Highest Rated Movies
Filmography
MOVIES
RATING | TITLE | CREDIT | BOX OFFICE | YEAR |
---|---|---|---|---|
No Score Yet | Clifford the Big Red Dog |
|
— | 2021 |
15% | The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee |
|
— | 2020 |
100% | Assholes: A Theory |
|
— | 2020 |
No Score Yet | Time Warp: The Greatest Cult Films of All-Time Volume 3: Comedy and Camp |
|
— | 2020 |
13% | Arctic Dogs |
|
— | 2019 |
No Score Yet | The Naked Wanderer |
|
— | 2019 |
No Score Yet | Python at 50: Silly Talks and Holy Grails |
|
— | 2019 |
29% | Elliot The Littlest Reindeer |
|
— | 2018 |
24% | Charming |
|
— | 2018 |
No Score Yet | Elliot : Le plus petit des rennes |
|
— | 2017 |
18% | Absolutely Anything |
|
$0.7M | 2017 |
75% | Trolls |
|
$153.7M | 2016 |
No Score Yet | A.C.O.R.N.S.: Operation Crackdown (Get Squirrely) |
|
— | 2016 |
No Score Yet | The Enchanted Stallion |
|
— | 2016 |
94% | The Last Impresario |
|
— | 2014 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python: The Meaning Of Live |
|
— | 2014 |
No Score Yet | Spud 3: Learning to Fly |
|
— | 2014 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python Live (Mostly) |
|
$1.2M | 2014 |
25% | Planes |
|
$71.3M | 2013 |
No Score Yet | Spud 2: The Madness Continues |
|
— | 2013 |
44% | A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman |
|
— | 2012 |
No Score Yet | God Loves Caviar |
|
— | 2012 |
91% | Winnie the Pooh |
|
$26.7M | 2011 |
No Score Yet | Beethoven's Christmas Adventure |
|
— | 2011 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python: Almost the Truth - The Lawyers Cut |
|
— | 2011 |
58% | Shrek Forever After |
|
$238.4M | 2010 |
80% | Spud |
|
— | 2010 |
23% | Planet 51 |
|
$42.2M | 2009 |
12% | Pink Panther 2 |
|
$36M | 2009 |
No Score Yet | The Art Of Football |
|
— | 2009 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python Almost the Truth Obligatory Making of Special |
|
— | 2009 |
20% | The Day the Earth Stood Still |
|
$79.2M | 2008 |
39% | Igor |
|
$19.5M | 2008 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python: The Other British Invasion |
|
— | 2008 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python - Before & After |
|
— | 2008 |
42% | Shrek the Third |
|
$320.8M | 2007 |
78% | Charlotte's Web |
|
$82.2M | 2006 |
No Score Yet | L'Entente cordiale |
|
— | 2006 |
No Score Yet | Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys |
|
— | 2006 |
38% | Man About Town |
|
— | 2006 |
32% | Valiant |
|
$19.4M | 2005 |
No Score Yet | John Cleese's Wine for the Confused |
|
— | 2004 |
No Score Yet | Wine for the Confused |
|
— | 2004 |
32% | Around the World in 80 Days |
|
— | 2004 |
90% | Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban |
|
$249.4M | 2004 |
89% | Shrek 2 |
|
$436.5M | 2004 |
No Score Yet | Romance With A Double Bass |
|
— | 2003 |
17% | George Of The Jungle 2 |
|
— | 2003 |
17% | Scorched |
|
— | 2003 |
42% | Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle |
|
$100.7M | 2003 |
67% | Stupidity |
|
— | 2003 |
56% | Die Another Day |
|
$160.3M | 2002 |
82% | Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets |
|
$261.9M | 2002 |
4% | The Adventures of Pluto Nash |
|
$4.4M | 2002 |
81% | Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone |
|
$317.6M | 2001 |
No Score Yet | Mickey's Magical Christmas - Snowed in at the House of Mouse |
|
— | 2001 |
No Score Yet | Beauty |
|
— | 2001 |
44% | Rat Race |
|
$55.9M | 2001 |
No Score Yet | The Magic Pudding |
|
— | 2001 |
25% | Isn't She Great |
|
— | 2000 |
No Score Yet | Quantum Project |
|
— | 2000 |
52% | The World Is Not Enough |
|
— | 1999 |
27% | The Out-of-Towners |
|
— | 1999 |
No Score Yet | Parting Shots |
|
— | 1999 |
56% | George of the Jungle |
|
— | 1997 |
55% | Fierce Creatures |
|
— | 1997 |
75% | The Wind in the Willows |
|
— | 1996 |
80% | Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book |
|
— | 1994 |
38% | Mary Shelley's Frankenstein |
|
— | 1994 |
50% | The Swan Princess |
|
— | 1994 |
8% | Splitting Heirs |
|
— | 1993 |
54% | An American Tail - Fievel Goes West |
|
— | 1991 |
No Score Yet | Bullseye! |
|
— | 1990 |
No Score Yet | Life of Python |
|
— | 1990 |
No Score Yet | Quark the Dragon Slayer |
|
— | 1990 |
No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Biggest Ball |
|
— | 1989 |
47% | Erik the Viking |
|
— | 1989 |
87% | The Big Picture |
|
— | 1989 |
40% | Bert Rigby, You're a Fool |
|
— | 1989 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python's Parrot Sketch Not Included |
|
— | 1989 |
95% | A Fish Called Wanda |
|
— | 1988 |
No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Third Ball |
|
— | 1987 |
80% | Clockwise |
|
— | 1986 |
76% | Silverado |
|
$33.2M | 1985 |
No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Private Parts |
|
— | 1984 |
22% | Yellowbeard |
|
— | 1983 |
85% | Monty Python's The Meaning of Life |
|
— | 1983 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl |
|
— | 1982 |
No Score Yet | Privates on Parade |
|
— | 1982 |
89% | The Secret Policeman's Other Ball |
|
— | 1982 |
90% | Time Bandits |
|
— | 1981 |
76% | The Great Muppet Caper |
|
— | 1981 |
No Score Yet | The Secret Policeman's Ball |
|
— | 1981 |
No Score Yet | The Taming of the Shrew |
|
— | 1980 |
95% | Monty Python's Life of Brian |
|
— | 1979 |
No Score Yet | Strange Case of the End of Civilization as We Know It |
|
— | 1977 |
No Score Yet | The Mermaid Frolics |
|
— | 1977 |
No Score Yet | Pleasure at Her Majesty's (Monty Python Meets Beyond the Fringe) |
|
— | 1976 |
97% | Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
|
— | 1975 |
No Score Yet | Monty Python's Flying Circus - Episode 45 |
|
— | 1974 |
No Score Yet | Romance With a Double Bass |
|
— | 1974 |
No Score Yet | Dr. Seuss: Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? |
|
— | 1973 |
88% | Monty Python's And Now for Something Completely Different |
|
— | 1972 |
No Score Yet | The Statue |
|
— | 1971 |
No Score Yet | The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer |
|
— | 1970 |
59% | The Magic Christian |
|
— | 1970 |
No Score Yet | John Cleese on How to Irritate People |
|
— | 1968 |
No Score Yet | The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom |
|
— | 1968 |
No Score Yet | At Last the 1948 Show |
|
— | 1967 |
No Score Yet | Interlude |
|
— | 1957 |
TV
RATING | TITLE | CREDIT | YEAR |
---|---|---|---|
56% |
Hold the Sunset
2018
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Speechless
2016-2019
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Conan
2010
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Sunday Morning
2011-2018
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Real Time with Bill Maher
2003
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
The Graham Norton Show
2007
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
|
|
|
21% |
Whitney
2011-2013
|
|
|
66% |
Entourage
2004-2011
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Chelsea Lately
2007-2014
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Will & Grace
1998-2006
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
3rd Rock from the Sun
1996-2001
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
Cheers
1982-1993
|
|
|
68% |
Doctor Who
1963-1989
|
|
|
100% |
The Muppet Show
1976-1981
|
|
|
100% |
Fawlty Towers
1975-1979
|
|
|
100% |
Monty Python's Flying Circus
1969-1974
|
|
|
No Score Yet |
The Avengers (1961)
1969
|
|
|
Quotes from John Cleese's Characters
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French: | "I'll do you for that." |
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French: | I'll do you for that. |
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French: | "You'll what?" |
Sir Lancelot, Black Knight, French: | You'll what? |
Queen Lillian: | Harold! |
Princess Fiona: | Shrek! |
Shrek: | Fiona! |
King Harold: | Fiona! |
Princess Fiona: | Mom! |
Donkey: | Donkey! |
Fairy Godmother: | Harold! You were meant to give her the potion! |
Fairy Godmother: | Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion! |
King Harold: | Well, I think I gave her the wrong tea! |
King Harold: | Well, I must have given her the wrong tea! |
Brian Stimpson: | It's not the despair. I can stand the despair. It's the hope! |
Mrs. Garden: | It don't who I am or when I am. |
French: | "Now go away or I will taunt you a second time." |
French: | Now go away or I will taunt you a second time. |
Bulldog: | I don't cry, I'm British. |
Donald Sinclair: | currently you have been racing for about 15 seconds and right now Mr Shafer is winning because he is closest to the door. |
Donald Sinclair: | Currently you have been racing for about 15 seconds and right now Mr Shafer is winning because he is closest to the door. |
Raoul P. Shadgrind: | Say no more! |
Raoul P. Shadgrind: | People went sex mad in the sixties, you know. Seemed to do it just for fun/ |
Raoul P. Shadgrind: | People went sex mad in the sixties, you know. Seemed to do it just for fun. |
Q: | How about you aquatint yourself with the manual you should be able to shoot through that in a couple hours |
Q: | How about you aquatint yourself with the manual you should be able to shoot through that in a couple hours . |
James Bond Agent 007: | It only took a few seconds Q |
James Bond Agent 007: | It only took a few seconds Q. |
Q: | I wish I could make you vanish |
Q: | I wish I could make you vanish. |
Q: | Pardon me for asking 007 but a perfect marksman isn't suppose to shoot his own boss. |
James Bond Agent 007: | Check the replay you will find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound |
James Bond Agent 007: | Check the replay you will find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound. |
Black Knight: | (After noticing that he has no limbs left) All right, we'll call it a draw. |
Black Knight: | All right, we'll call it a draw. |
French: | Your Mother was a Hamster, and your Father smelt of Elderberries! |
French: | Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! |
Three-Headed Knight: | (First Head)I say let's kill him. |
Three-Headed Knight: | (Second Head) Let's have tea first. |
Three-Headed Knight: | (Third Head) Oh, stop your whining. First we kill him, then we have biscuts and tea. |
Three-Headed Knight: | (Second Head) No biscuts. Let's just kill him already. |
Three-Headed Knight: | (First Head) Alright, alright. First we kill him, then we have tea. |
Three-Headed Knight: | (All Three) Right. |
Black Knight: | (Second Head) Why, the blokes' run off! |
Professor Kipple: | This is oviesly alien writing....mmm....it says surrender or die and this is a list of surrender turns. |
Professor Kipple: | This is oviesly alien writing.... mmm.... it says surrender or die and this is a list of surrender turns. |
King Arthur: | You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. |
Black Knight: | ... |
King Arthur: | I am Arthur, King of the Britons. |
King Arthur: | I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot. |
King Arthur: | You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? |
King Arthur: | You make me sad. |
King Arthur: | How does it... um... how does it work? |
Sir Lancelot: | I know not, my liege. |
King Arthur: | Consult the Book of Armaments! |
Maynard: | Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one. |
Minstrel + minor role: | And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu... |
Minstrel + minor role: | And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu... |
Maynard: | Skip a bit, brother... |
Minstrel + minor role: | And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. |
Minstrel + minor role: | And the Lord spake, saying, First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. |
Maynard: | Amen. |
King Arthur: | Right. One... two... five! |
Sir Galahad: | Three, sir. |
King Arthur: | Three! |
Centurion: | Well, it's a joke sir, like Sillius Soddus or Biggus Dickus, Sir. |
Pontius Pilate: | What's so funny about Biggus Dickus? |
Centurion: | Well, it's a joke name, Sir. |
Black Knight: | Right! I'll do you for that! |
King Arthur: | You'll what? |
Black Knight: | Come here! |
King Arthur: | What are you going to do, bleed on me? |
Black Knight: | I am invincible! |
King Arthur: | You're a loony! |
Black Knight: | The Black Knights always triumph! |
Black Knight: | It's just a scratch. I've had worse. |
Black Knight: | Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here & take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off! |
King Arthur: | Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left! |
Black Knight: | Yes I have. |
King Arthur: | Look! |
Black Knight: | Just a flesh wound. |
Black Knight: | Running away? You yellow bastard! Come back and get what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off! |
Black Knight: | 'Tis but a scratch. |
King Arthur: | A scratch!? Your arm's off! |
Black Knight: | No, it isn't. |
King Arthur: | Well, what's that then?! |
Black Knight: | I've had worse. |
Black Knight: | Tis but a scratch |
Black Knight: | Tis but a scratch. |
Black Knight: | I'll bite your legs off! |
King Arthur: | (having cut off all of the Black Knight's limbs), well, lets get going! Come along, Patsy |
King Arthur: | [having cut off all of the Black Knight's limbs] Well, lets get going! Come along, Patsy |
Black Knight: | (limbless and on the ground) Running away, eh? Come back here!! I'll bite your legs off!! |
Black Knight: | [limbless and on the ground] Running away, eh? Come back here! I'll bite your legs off! |
Old Man from Scene 24: | What is your name? |
Sir Lancelot: | Sir Lancelot of Camelot! |
Old Man from Scene 24: | What is your quest? |
Sir Lancelot: | To seek the Holy Grail! |
Old Man from Scene 24: | What is your favorite colour? |
Sir Lancelot: | Red!... I mean blue! (falls down the crevice screaming) |
Sir Lancelot: | Red!... I mean blue! [falls down the crevice screaming] |
Fourth Fish: | Oh sh*t, it's Mr. Creosote! |
Second Fish Grim: | Hide! |
Sir Lancelot: | [charges into room, killing hicoughing guard] |
Guard: | [turns] Now, you're not allowed to- [gets cut off as Lancelot kills him] |
French: | I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of eldeberries! |
King Arthur: | Is there anyone else up there we can talk to? |
French: | No! now go away away or I shall taunt you a second time! |
Sir Lancelot: | i thought your son was a girl |
Sir Lancelot: | I thought your son was a girl. |
King: | thats understandable |
King: | That's understandable. |
Centurion: | Brian, "you don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody." |
Brian Called Brian: | You don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody. |
Centurion: | You don't need to fallow me, you don't need to fallow anybody, |
King Arthur: | [after literally "disarming" the Black Knight] Now stand aside, worthy adversary! |
King Arthur: | [after literally 'disarming' the Black Knight] Now stand aside, worthy adversary! |
Black Knight: | 'Tis but a scratch. |
King Arthur: | A scratch?! You're arm's off! |
Black Knight: | No it isn't! |
King Arthur: | [points to BK's arm on the ground] Well, what's that? |
Black Knight: | I've had worse. |
King Arthur: | You liar! |
Black Knight: | Oh, come on, you pansy! |
King Arthur: | [calling out to the battlements] Hello! Hello! |
French: | Hallo? Who is it? |
King Arthur: | It is King Arthur, and these are his Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this? |
French: | This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard. |
King Arthur: | Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he can provide us food and shelter for the night he can join us on the quest for the Holy Grail. |
French: | Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'd be very keen. He's already got one you see? |
King Arthur: | [puzzled] What? |
Sir Galahad: | They said they already got one. |
Professor Barnhardt: | It's only at the precipice that we change. |
King Harold: | He's ogre. |
King Harold: | No, really. I'm fine. |
Archie Leach: | I Wendy- I Wanda- I wonder... |
Black Knight: | It's Only a flesh wound. |
Black Knight: | It's just a flesh wound! |
French: | Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons! |
French: | Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. |
French: | You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts. |
French: | You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King', you and all your silly English K-nig-hts. |
French: | I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries |
French: | I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. |
Black Knight: | I'll have you for that! |
King Arthur: | What are you going to do, bleed on me? |
Ape: | Ladies and gentlemen I present you The King of the Jungle. |
French: | Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries |
French: | Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. |
Black Knight: | It's only a flesh wound! |
Black Knight: | It's just a flesh wound. |
King Arthur: | to Black knigh: tWhat are you going to do, bleed on me? |
Black Knight: | What are you going to do, bleed on me? |
French: | Your father was a hamster, and your mother smelt of elderberries! |
French: | Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. |
Sir Lancelot: | She turned me into a newt! |
Sir Galahad: | A newt? |
Sir Lancelot: | ...I got better... |
Sir Lancelot: | I got better... |
Narrator: | Silly old bear. |
Narrator: | oh bother |
Narrator: | Oh bother. |
King: | You only killed the bride's father, you know. |
Sir Lancelot: | Well, I didn't mean to. |
King: | Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head. |
Sir Lancelot: | Oh dear... is he all right? |
Sheriff Langston: | It's hard on the peace and it's hard on the furniture |
Black Knight: | It's just a flesh wound. |
French: | I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. |
Black Knight: | Tis but a scratch! |
French: | Your motha was a hamster and your fatha smelled of hoozenberries!!! |