Martin Lawrence

Det. Marcus Burnett:

My ass still hurts from what you did to it.

---

Ryan:

Well she may be in 12th grade, but that ass is in grad school.

Hank Rafferty:	Hey, do you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?
Earl Montgomery:	Well, I'm never really sure till i'm finished talkin'.

---

Earl Montgomery:

Time to conceal the weapon.

---

Det. Marcus Burnett:	Did you see that?!?
Det. Marcus Burnett:	Did you see that?
Det. Mike Lowrey:	They throwing cars at us! How am I not seeing that?!?
Det. Mike Lowrey:	They throwing cars at us! How am I not seeing that?

---

Malcolm Turner/Big Momma:	Nobody called it the nutcracker
Malcolm Turner/Big Momma:	Now I know why they call it the Nutcracker.

---

Det. Marcus Burnett:

This is a nice fish. Big fuckin eyes, but a nice fuckin fish.

---

Malcolm / Big Momma:

When she put clothes in the trash.

---

Malcolm / Big Momma:

When she gave tequila to dog name pancho.

---

Bobby Davis:	They say you can get water in cactuses. Where in a desert and they don't get no damnable cactuses.
Dudley Frank:	I think when its plural its pronounced cacti.
Bobby Davis:	Im killing him.

---

Boog:

Uh... ELLIOT!

---

Boog:

Get it off! Like a band-aid! Please!

---

Boog:	Get it off, like a band-aid please!
Elliot:	Okay this might hurt a little, and you might want to cover your ears
Boog:	Cover my what- OW!!
Boog:	Cover my what- OW!
Elliot:	Okay scamp off back to the woods little buddy. Oh porcupines.

---

Elliot:	These big wood stick things are called trees.
Elliot:	These big rocks are called mountains and little rocks are their babies.
Boog:	Uh... ELLIOT!
Elliot:	Boogster, ugh. How many times do I have to tell you. "I'm the incredible Mr. E."
Elliot:	Boogster, ugh. How many times do I have to tell you. 'I'm the incredible Mr. E.'
Boog:	Eliot... please. Whoa!
Elliot:	Look, if you don't use the code names who would I know you would be the one talking to me.

---

Giselle:	Sweet!
McSquizzy:	Freedom!!
McSquizzy:	Freedom!
Boog:	Ha ha ha, huh? What?
Shaw:	Hello, Goldilocks! Ha ha ha!
Elliot:	Yeah, bulls eye!
Elliot:	Quick, we need more ammo.

---

Boog:	Elliot, catch!
Elliot:	Got it!
Boog:	Fire!
Elliot:	Boog, It's working!
Boog:	Ha ha ha ha, yeah! Look at them run!
McSquizzy:	Send out, Mr. Happy!
Boog:	Who?
Park Ranger Beth:	Gordy, I'm taking home!
McSquizzy:	Oh...Mr. Happy didn't go off.
Boog:	Whoa whoa, we were just supposed to run them into town!
Elliot:	That's right, keep running.

---

Boog:	Behold, the mighty grizzly!
Boog:	You know Elliot, This place ain't so bad.
Elliot:	Wait, hold that thought.
Elliot:	Woo-Hoo!

---

Boog:

Dinkleman!

---

Boog:

Ouch!

---

Boog:

Keep your tree. I'll find another one.

---

Boog:

I'M GONNA KILL YOU! [Tackles Elliot behind the curtains and starts hurting him]

---

Boog:

You chipped a... you chipped a... [Finally loses it] I'm gonna kill you!

---

Elliot:	I chipped a hoof !
Elliot:	I chipped a hoof!
Boog:	you chipped..... you chipped a, IM GUNNA KILL YOU !!!!
Boog:	You chipped... you chipped a... I'M GUNNA KILL YOU!

---

Boog:

I never hold a grudge. I just let it go.

---

Malcolm Turner/Big Momma:	You'd better change your voice before you start scaring the girls.
Trent/Charmaine:	Oh how about this? Swing low...Swing AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [screeching]

---

Malcolm Turner/Big Momma:

Big Momma take orders from nobody...Nobody!

---

Tyler:

What does he think, I'm gonna stink it all up and bring it back?

---

Det. Marcus Burnett:	This is some sick shit!
Det. Mike Lowrey:	Yup! It's about to get sicker!

---

Boog:

I got ten claws and I ain't afraid of you.

---

Boog:

I do what I want, when I want, and I come and go as I please.

---

Boog:

Outside?

---

Boog:

No problem!

---

Boog:

You got it all twisted.

---

Boog:

Until then, I ain't goin' down without a fight!

---

Boog:

We ain't doin' no show.

---

Boog:

[Exasperated sigh]

---

Earl Montgomery:

Your partner got killed. You lost your job. You went to jail. Your girlfriend walked. You got a job as a security guard at a hundred and eighty-two dollars a week. You know what you are, Hank? You're a black man.

---

Malcolm Turner:	You better get that nasty-ass tongue back in your mouth before I rip it out!
Ben:	Yes, ma'am! My mouth is closed! But these hands is open for business.

---

Malcolm Turner:	Trent's so smart. Trent's so cute. Trent knows Karate.
Trent:	I know a little bit.

---

Malcolm Turner:

I done seen a lot of scary shit in my day. But damn, that was a lot of ass!

---

Boog:

Elliot, let the nice people enjoy the show.

---

Boog:

All right, he's gone. Now get out.

---

Gordy:	Beth, you're not his mother.
Park Ranger Beth:	I'm not mothering him!
Boog:	[Taps on the window and smiles while waving at Beth]
Park Ranger Beth:	Excuse me. [Yelling] Go to bed, Boog!
Park Ranger Beth:	Excuse me. [yelling] Go to bed, Boog!
Boog:	[Gets startled and throws up on the window]
Boog:	[gets startled and throws up on the window]

---

Boog:

I can't snap.

---

Boog:	[Upon spotting one of the big trees in the Timberline National Forest] Hmm. Alright. [Cracks his knuckles] I can do this! Ha ha ha ha. No problem.
Boog:	[upon spotting one of the big trees in the Timberline National Forest] Hmm. Alright. [cracks his knuckles] I can do this! Ha ha ha ha. No problem.

---

Malcolm / Big Momma:

And keep a lookout! You never know when Big Momma might be back!

---

Det. Marcus Burnett:

Shit just got real.

---

Marcus Burnett:

Look at all this this is shit! Liquid shit!

---

Boog:

All right. I can do this!

---

Boog:

[Seeing a flower right in front of him in the forest] Pretty.

---

Boog:	Get out of here!
Elliot:	Hey, I took you out of the garage. You should thank me.
Boog:	Thank you?!
Elliot:	You're welcome.

---

Boog:	[To McSquizzy] We're gonna need your nuts.
Elliot:	And your acorns too!

---

Elliot:	I get it. You're like a pet.
Boog:	I'm nobody's pet.
Elliot:	[Holds up Boog's bowl] Right.

---

Boog:	[Holding Elliot over a cliff] Take a good look around, Elliot. What's missing?
Elliot:	Wait. Don't tell me. I know this one...
Boog:	TIMBERLINE IS MISSING!
Elliot:	Oh, I was just going to say that.

---

Boog:

[Realises he is in the Timberline forest] Where's home? It's gone! Somebody stole it!

---

Boog:

Give it up for Boog!

---

Elliot:	Ian's right. I'm a loser.
Boog:	No, you're not a loser.
Elliot:	Yes I am!
Boog:	No you're not!
Elliot:	Yes!
Boog:	No!
Elliot:	Trust me! You know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck, what do you call that?
Boog:	Uhh... a loser. But check this out. Behold, the Mighty Grizzly! I look like a bear, I talk like a bear, but I can't fish, I can't climb a tree, I can't even go in the woods.
Elliot:	That's nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!

---

Jamal Walker:

Punks jump up to get beat down.

---

Miles Logan:	Its like leaving candy around me, its not gonna be alright I'm gonna (chomping teeth) chomp it up!
Miles Logan:	Its like leaving candy around me, its not gonna be alright I'm gonna [chomping teeth] chomp it up!

---

Boog:	[After hitting Shaw with a golf club] Ha ha ha! Oh yeah! Don't mess with the Boogster.
Boog:	[after hitting Shaw with a golf club] Ha ha ha! Oh yeah! Don't mess with the Boogster.

---

Boog:	Naw, naw, cornflake. You got it all twisted. This here is my home.
Elliot:	Sweet!
Boog:	Now haul your butt back out that window. [Points]
Boog:	Now haul your butt back out that window. [points]

---

Gordy:	Freeze.
Boog:	[Drunk on sugar] Behold... the Mighty... Grizzly. Good night. [Passes out]
Boog:	[drunk on sugar] Behold... the Mighty... Grizzly. Good night. [passes out]

---

Boog:	I do what I want, when I want, and I come and go as I please!
Elliot:	Well, then let's go!
Boog:	Uh... outside?

---

Boog:

I'm warnin' you. I got 10 claws and I ain't afraid of you.

---

Det. Marcus Burnett:

That's that bullshit.

---

Boog:

[To Elliot] Now haul your butt back out that window.

---

Elliot:	What's a Shaw?
Boog:	Only the nastiest hunter in town.

---

Elliot:	Guys, it's not his fault.
Boog:	Oh, you're right, Elliot. It's your fault.
Elliot:	My fault?
Boog:	Yeah. If it weren't for you, I'd be home right now. None of this would've ever happened. You said you knew the way back, but you lied.
Elliot:	I-- no. ...Okay. Okay, maybe-- I thought if you hung out with me, then maybe you would like me.
Boog:	Oh, man! I-- I trusted you, Elliot.
Elliot:	I'm sorry, Boog. I-- we're still partners, right?
Boog:	You know, Elliot, I'm better off alone.

---

Boog:

Stupid nature.

---

Elliot:	Want a Fishy Cracker?
Boog:	Uh, no. Uh, I'll eat when I get home.

---

Boog:

[Before passing out when tranquilized by Beth] Buttermilk biscuits...

---

Boog:	[Choking Elliot and hitting his head on the ground, who keeps saying "ow"] You're-ruining-my-show!
Boog:	[Choking Elliot and hitting his head on the ground, who keeps saying 'ow'] You're-ruining-my-show!

---

Boog:	Out of the coat.
Elliot:	No.
Boog:	Take it off.
Elliot:	No!
Boog:	Take off the coat.
Elliot:	No means no!

---

Boog:

It's a whole Woo Hoo village.

---

Boog:	[Singing his own version of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic"] If you go out in the woods today, there's gonna-- [hiccups] Be some fries [laughs]
Boog:	[Singing his own version of 'The Teddy Bears' Picnic'] If you go out in the woods today, there's gonna-- [hiccups] Be some fries [laughs]

---

Boog:

[Waiting for Beth in the jeep] Where is that girl?

---

McSquizzy:	Try it again, I'll be kickin' your furry brown bahookie! [slaps his butt at Boog]
Boog:	What?! But this is a different tree!
McSquizzy:	They're ALL my trees!

---

Boog:

The Woo Hoo bar. She's my lady. Smooth and creamy. So bad I shouldn't. Yet I will.

---

Boog:

[After waking up face-to-face with a flower in the Timberline National Forest] Ooh, pretty.

---

Boog:	We've been walkin' around in circles?
Elliot:	Cir-cle. One time around.

---

Elliot:	Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck, what do you call that?
Boog:	Ahh... a loser! But check this out. Behold, the Mighty Grizzly! I look like a bear, I talk like a bear, but I can't fish, I can't climb a tree, I can't even go in the woods!
Elliot:	That's nothin'! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog:	I ride a unicycle for crackers.
Elliot:	I have a glass eye.
Boog:	I can't snap.
Elliot:	I thought log was a color.
Boog:	I can't see my feet!
Elliot:	I killed a man! [he and Boog both laugh]

---

Boog:

[sees Dinkleman in his garage] Hey! What are you lookin' at? I told you not to wait up!

---

Boog:

When I'm a bear rug, they can walk all over me. Until then, I ain't goin' down without a fight!

---

Boog:

[to McSquizzy and the Furry Tail Clan] That's it! You're askin' for a whoopin'!

---

Boog:

This is my home.

---

Boog:

[smelling Elliot, who is strapped to Shaw's truck and appears dead] Whew! That's nasty!

---

Boog:	[during the fight with the hunters] Gas mask.
Reilly:	Got it.

---

Boog:

All right. Time to run these guys back to town.

---

Boog:

[Elliot has hit Shaw with a pillow] A pillow?! Come on!

---

Boog:

Boog is sorry.

---

Boog:

[losing Dinkleman in the water] DINKLEMAN!

---

Boog:	[to Elliot] Shut the-- shut the-- I'm gonna kill you!
Boog:	[to Elliot] Shut the - shut the. I'm gonna kill you!

---

Boog:

[sees a mad Beth in Gordy's police car] Uh-oh! Back up quick, before she sees me!

---

Park Ranger Beth:	You're in big trouble, mister!
Boog:	Shush!

---

Boog:

Yeah. And the giraffes taste almost exactly like the elephants. That's messed up.

---

Boog:

Oh, no. I never hold a grudge. I just let it go.

---

Boog:	[drunk on chocolate] Behold... the Mighty... Grizzly. Good night. [faints]
Boog:	[drunk on chocolate] Behold... the mighty... Grizzly. Good night. [faints]

---

Boog:	Alright! Show me your "Grr" face!
Boog:	Alright! Show me your 'Grr' face!

---

Boog:

No denyin'. That girl's got growl. But can she get down like this?

---

Boog:

[during a rabbit fight] Oh yeah? Well, eat rabbit!

---