Will Ferrell

Nancy Huff:	You don't know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
Brennan Huff:	It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazin' that s**t up every day.
Brennan Huff:	It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazin' that shit up every day.

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Brad:

The kids at the end of the day, the know who's been around, and... holy balls!

Mugatu:

Todd! Where's my damn latte?

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Mugatu:

Prison changed me! I'm bad to the core now!

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Harold Crick:

This may sound like gibberish to you... but uh... but I think I'm in a tragedy.

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Brad:

Did you just gulp?

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Brad:

No, just please go and get a shirt on.

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Brad:

I hope its up to code.

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Brad:

Why is he looking at me like that?

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Brad:

I've always dreamed of being a dad. Let me tell you, I love it.

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Det. Allen Gamble:	Great guy huge bush
Det. Allen Gamble:	Great guy huge bush.

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Robert Benson:

You know the dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis!

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Chazz Michael Michaels:

Mind-bottling, isn't it?

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Jacobim Mugatu:

Destroy the Prime Minister of Malaysia!

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Brennan Huff:

I used to smoke pot with John Hopkins. It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, and they would blaze that shit every day.

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Det. Allen Gamble:	It's 9:15, let's have a great day everybody!
Jimmy:	Cut the shit!

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Det. Allen Gamble:

I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit!

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Phil Weston:

Quiet please! Shut up! I'm on the phone, you're not the only ones in the park!

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Brick Tamland:	Yeah.. I stabbed a man in the heart
Ron Burgundy:	I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland:	Yeah there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy:	Brick I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder.

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Ron Burgundy:

You have an absolutely breathtaking hiney.

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Ron Burgundy:

I'm kind of a big deal. People know me.

---

Garth Holiday:	Ron why did you say that? Why? Why Ron? Why? You were my hero Ron!!!
Ron Burgundy:	Garth. . . I.
Garth Holiday:	And you come out and. . . Stink like that. . . Poop. . . your poop mouth. . . you have a poop out of your mouth!!!!
Ron Burgundy:	Garth, If I were to give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the Pain?
Garth Holiday:	I hate you Ron Burgundy!!! I hate you!!!!!!!!

---

Mitch:	What's it all about?
Cam Brady:	America, Jesus, freedom.

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Ron Burgundy:	Walter, listen to me. Life isn't a fairy tale, it's not a bunch of jumping rope and grabbing ass. It's complicated. What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to be when you grow up?
Walter Burgundy:	I want to be an astronaut or a cowboy!
Ron Burgundy:	You're never gonna be any of those, okay?
Veronica Corningstone:	Ron!
Ron Burgundy:	You've gotta set the bar a lot lower. Service industry, fry cook, prison guard. Maybe you're a lighting guy at a porn shoot. Which basically means you hold up a flashlight while adults do things.
Veronica Corningstone:	He is a child, Ron!
Ron Burgundy:	Nah, nah, nah, nah! He's got hair on his nugs. He's old enough to hear this.

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Ron Burgundy:

Guess what, Trevor? Every morning I get here half an hour earlier and I sexually assault a starfish!

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Ron Burgundy:

Damn it Lupita, what have you've been doing up there? Eating nachos?

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Roxanne Ritchi:	So, that's it? You're just giving up?
MegaMind:	I'm the bad guy. I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset and I don't get the girl.

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Ron Burgundy:

I'm just a guy from Terre Haute Indiana with a big ol' dick and a fat wallet.

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Ron Burgundy:

I'm going to have sex with a black woman!

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President Business:

Hey, not so special anymore, huh? Well, guess what? No one ever told me I was special. I never got a trophy just for showing up! I'm not some special little snowflake, no! But as unspecial as I am, you are a thousand billion times more unspecial than me!

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President Business:

Sorry it's just business... lord business.

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Brick Tamland:	I love, carpet. I love, desk.
Ron Burgundy:	Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them?
Brick Tamland:	I love, lamp.
Ron Burgundy:	Do you really love the lamp or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland:	I love lamp, I love lamp.

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President Business:

Back from the dead, Brickowski?

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Ron Burgundy:	It's a new superhero named Lace-Man
Ron Burgundy:	It's a new superhero named Lace-Man.

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President Business:

All I'm looking for is total perfection.

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President Business:

This rebellion is over!

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President Business:

Nobody ever said I was special!

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Bad Cop/Good Cop:	I can't do it! They're innocent!
President Business:	I knew it! Your good cop side has made you soft!

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President Business:	That night in the city, when you thought I was the Special, and you said I was talented, and important... That was the first time anyone had ever really told me that, and it made me want do everything I could to be the guy that you were talking about.
Emmet:	That night in the city, when you thought I was the Special, and you said I was talented, and important... That was the first time anyone had ever really told me that, and it made me want do everything I could to be the guy that you were talking about.

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Ron Burgundy:

No offense, but you're a stupid asshole!

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Ricky Bobby:	(realizes his wife is marrying Cal) Are you serious!? I was gone for three hours!
Ricky Bobby:	Are you serious? I was gone for three hours!

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Brian Fantana:	Ron, how many times have you smoked crack?
Ron Burgundy:	Just that one time, and one other time too. Ok, I've done it six more times
Ron Burgundy:	Just that one time, and one other time too. Ok, I've done it six more times.

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Ricky Bobby:

Save me Tom Cruise!

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President Business:

Hi, I'm President Business, president of the Octan corporation and the world. Let's take extra care to follow the instructions or you'll be put to sleep, and don't forget Taco Tuesday's coming next week.

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Cubby:

I've seen people more upset about losing change in a candy machine.

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Ron Burgundy:

Son, I fought a minotaur to be here. and I'd do it again.

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Harold Crick:	You just said ten seconds ago, you wouldn't help me.
Professor Jules Hilbert:	It's been a very revealing ten seconds.

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Ron Burgundy:

Who wants some chimichangas?

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Ron Burgundy:

By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!

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Ron Burgundy:

Who is this Julius Caesar? You know I don't follow the NBA!

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Ron Burgundy:	No, it has to be pronounced "Anus"
Ron Burgundy:	No, it has to be pronounced "Anus".

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Ron Burgundy:

By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!

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Ron Burgundy:	I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me
Ron Burgundy:	I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me.

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Ron Burgundy:

Who the hell is Julius Ceasar? You know I don't follow the NBA!

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Ron Burgundy:	If your ass is the North Star, guys are gonna wanna follow it.
Ron Burgundy:	If your ass is the North Star, wise men are gonna wanna follow it.

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Ron Burgundy:

I don't want to sound mean, but you're a stupid son of a bitch.

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Ron Burgundy:	It's known as the chicken of the cave
Ron Burgundy:	It's known as the chicken of the cave.
Champ Kind:	It's known as the chicken of the cave.

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Miles Finch:	Call me elf one more time.
Buddy:	He's an angry elf.

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Ron Burgundy:	I don't want to sound mean, but you're a stupid son of a bitch.
Ron Burgundy:	No offense, but you are a stupid asshole.

---

Det. Allen Gamble:	Are you a big man? Huh? I'm talking to you!
Det. Terry Hoitz:	What?
Det. Allen Gamble:	Do you wake up in the mornin' and say, "I'm puttin on my big boy pants. Look, I'm wearin' a belt. I got big boy pants on."
Det. Terry Hoitz:	No.
Det. Allen Gamble:	Put on a little jacket, you go, you take you lunch cause you have big boy pants on? You got your big boy pants and your snack? I can say big loud things! I can be demonstrative!
Det. Terry Hoitz:	Stop!
Det. Allen Gamble:	We don't, we don't do this!
Det. Terry Hoitz:	You're scarin' the shit outta me man, stop it!
Det. Allen Gamble:	Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy?

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Dale Doback:	you and your mom are hill-billy's. This is a house of learning doctors.
Dale Doback:	You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learning doctors.
Brennan Huff:	you're not a doctor. you're a big fat curly headed fuck.
Brennan Huff:	You're not a doctor. You're a big fat curly-headed fuck.

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Cam Brady:

You know the difference between your Mom and washin' machine? When I dump a load in the washin' machine it doesn't follow me around for three weeks.

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Cam Brady:

Did anyone ask me how my fist felt after punchin' the iron like jaw of that baby?

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Brennan Huff:

Hey Derek, Sprechen ze dick!!!

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Brennan Huff:	Hey Derek, you know what's good for shoulder pain?
Derek:	What?
Brennan Huff:	If you lick my butt-hole.
Dale Doback:	Snap!!!
Dale Doback:	Snap!

---

Armando:	Let him die. He's missing a hand anyway
Armando:	Let him die. He's missing a hand anyway.

---

Ron Burgundy:	I'm in a glass case of emotion
Ron Burgundy:	I'm in a glass case of emotion.

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Ron Burgundy:

Go fuck yourself San Diego

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Ron Burgundy:	It's so hot (drinks milk) Milk was a bad choice.
Ron Burgundy:	It's so hot. Milk was a bad choice.

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Ron Burgundy:

Hey aqualung!

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Cam Brady:

America! Jesus! Freedom!

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Ron Burgundy:

By the beard of Zeus!

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Ron Burgundy:

Why don't you go back to your home on whore island?

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Dr. Rick Marshall:

Sweat Gregor Mendel.

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Dr. Rick Marshall:

God I hope I get It, I hope I get It.

---

Jovie:	What were you doing in the women's locker room this morning?
Buddy:	I heard you singing.
Jovie:	What about the fact that I was naked in the shower?
Buddy:	I didn't know you were naked.

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Cam Brady:

Come and get me, Ranger Rick!

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Frank "The Tank":

We're going streaking!

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Frank "The Tank":

Dear Mitch, if you're holding this letter you already know. The house has been boarded up. The doors. The windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank

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Frank "The Tank":

Honey, Frank the Tank is not coming back, OK? That part of me is over. Water under the bridge. I promise.

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Frank "The Tank":

[after funnelling a beer] Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!

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Peppers:	You got a fucking dart in your neck, man.
Frank "The Tank":	[laughing] You're... you're crazy, man. I like you, but you're crazy.

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Beanie:	Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank "The Tank":	Cock. Balls.
Beanie:	I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.

---

Frank "The Tank":

Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

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Frank "The Tank":

You know I was thinking we could go back home... have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.

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Frank "The Tank":

You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by tonight. Okay, sweetie.

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Will:	Do you ever get tired of being wrong?
Dr. Rick Marshall:	Yes! I really do!

---

Dr. Rick Marshall:	What the h***?
Will:	Oh my bad. I'm man enough to say I was wrong.

---

Det. Allen Gamble:

I'm about to do you grandpa style.

---

Will:	You're paying for that.
Dr. Rick Marshall:	I'm most certainly am not.

---

Sack:	Claire, you get your fucking ass on that altar right now!
Chazz Reinhold:	Wow, we're getting a great preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner over here.

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Santa:	Sorry Buddy but ..... your dad is on the naughty list
Santa:	Sorry Buddy but... your dad is on the naughty list.
Buddy:	NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Buddy:	NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Buddy:	(standing over another stall) Did u see these toilets they're ginormous!!!
Buddy:	[standing over another stall] Did you see these toilets they're ginormous!

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Chaka:	(Singing)
Chaka:	[singing]
Dr. Rick Marshall:	Shutup Chaka!

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Ron Burgundy:	Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?
Ron Burgundy:	Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY!
Ron Burgundy:	Oh Audrey... I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY!

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Dale Doback:	OK on the count of three name your favourite dinosaur, don't even think about it just do it. 1, 2, 3
Brennan Huff:	Philosoraptor
Brennan Huff:	Philosoraptor.
Dale Doback:	Philosoraptor
Dale Doback:	Philosoraptor.
Brennan Huff:	Favourite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to.
Dale Doback:	Good Housekeeping
Dale Doback:	Good Housekeeping.
Brennan Huff:	Good Housekeeping
Brennan Huff:	Good Housekeeping.
Brennan Huff:	If you were a chick who's the one guy you'd sleep with?
Dale Doback:	John Stamos
Dale Doback:	John Stamos.
Brennan Huff:	John Stamos
Brennan Huff:	John Stamos.

---

Dale Doback:	Dad please shut up
Brennan Huff:	PLEASE SHUT UP!

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Phil Weston:	I'm not a kid from mexico!
Phil Weston:	I'm not a kid from Mexico!

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Jackie Moon:

Everybody panic!

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Jackie Moon:

It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears!

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