The Beast of Yucca Flats Reviews
What were these people thinking when they made it? What in God's name propelled them to make this pointless garbage? I just do not know. THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS, like Coleman Francis's other 2 films is in a league of its own in terms of its abysmal awfulness- like THE SKYDIVERS and RED ZONE CUBA, it is absolutely one of the worst movies ever made. The only thing even decent about it is the score- which is repeated over and over and over again in this horrendously incompetent film. The score actually is the only good thing about any Coleman Francis film- but that's like saying that Joseph Stalin was worse than Adolf Hitler (which is true, IMO). This is a movie so bad that all the audio was put in after the film was shot- and you never see anyone speak on camera- all the dialogue is done off screen or at angles when you can't see the people's mouths move. This should be avoided like the bubonic plague.
Keep this thing away from me. It BURNS!
Now excuse me while I go shower with a rabid wolverine.
Everything about this movie is bad...but one amusing note, you don't see anyone talking on screen. Everything is narrated, or dialog is dubbed over with people's faces hidden so you can't see them talking. Very strange choice is filming.
Anyway, this is just bad. Tor Johnson happens to walk into a nuclear blast and becomes a strangling beast. Nonsense goes on and then it ends.
The editing's jumpier than a bag of jelly beans, but the real laughs come from our wannabe Rod Serling's narration. His mumblings range from pseudo-plot nonsense about Soviet secrets, right up to blow-by-blow commentary on obvious on-screen happenings. Spoiler alert: the movie ends on a shot of our beast cuddling a bunny. Hilariously bizarre.
But that's no compliment. The Beast of Yucca Flats can't decide whether to be a silent film or a talkie, and so comprehending the film seems to be a bigger challenge than having made it, but then again a statement like that is how a film like Manos: Hands of Fate gets made, another film considered one of the worst in existence.
And the technical side is a failure, as the lack of attributed qualities in the intro or even a piece of music set the viewer up for a intense-less venture into the mind of a $34000 filmmaker circa 1961 who still had less ambitions than Nicolas Cage's current career. Predominantly, for an aesthetically rough black and white film, the viewing experience is made worse by the horrible lighting which leaves no viewer bored by the inability to see. Much of the time is spent staring at a merely black screen, and that actually would have been a more pleasurable viewing experience than a film worse than the negative characteristics of Plan 9 from Outer Space and Manos: Hands of Fate combined, because at least both of those films were ambitious, and were both spectacular failures, whereas The Beast of Yucca Flats is merciless in its failure.
And there is no explanation as to what Yucca Flats is, but watching a bumbling fat man named Tor Johnson wander through them with a confused expression on his face, obviously due to Coleman Francis' poor direction not instructing the Swedish wrestler with what to do, is funny, but not worth the effort of a laugh.
It seems as if nobody bothered to plot out The Beast of Yucca Flats, because the characters just go into a desert or nuclear testing sight, whatever Yucca Flats is, and kill each other in a cheap fashion with guns and choking. It's like The Hunger Games had some kind of Abortion precisely 50 years before it was released and made this as a cheap monster thriller without a second thought to what goes into making a film. Literally nobody seems to have put effort into The Beast of Yucca Flats, and so why it was made at the expense of their time and money is an enigma to me. That includes monetary gain because nobody could have thought a Tor Johnson film would ever make money after his work with Ed Wood on some of the worst films in existence, primarily Plan 9 from Outer Space.
And the cinematography didn't know where to go what to do, and didn't even bother to film certain sequences and just repeated pre-used shots again and again in a stupid fashion, just like the cheap and repetitive sound effects.
Essentially, I didn't know what premise I was following in The Beast of Yucca Flats, but whatever it was I didn't like it. I didn't like any of it, event though the musical crew tried hard, and therefore it isn't difficult to consider why The Beast of Yucca Flats would be considered one of the worst of all time. It's amazing how many times you can fail and be so boring and long during a film that only runs for 53 Minutes, but I don't think anybody has ever seen it because the visual quality is too murky for anyone to see anything, and so the film practically is nonexistent.
This line sums up the entire plot of this no budget stinker, things just happen. I made the unfortunate mistake of watching this film without the MST3K commentary and that was a huge mistake. Despite being only 54 minutes in length, the film paradoxically feels a lot longer. By the last twenty minutes I was almost dozing off into sleep. Beyond the initial setup, the film is just watching a bunch of random things happening with a narrator saying lines of random broken dialogue that make no sense. Aside from technical failings such as the music looping over and over again to the point that it becomes mind-numbing, the biggest failing is the monster itself. These movies tend to only be as good as their monsters, and Tor Johnson is not good at all. His "deformities" only look like sun burns, and the wooden cane he carries makes him look like a grumpy old man rather than a terrifying rampaging monster. The other actors are a joke. The acting is so laid-back and stiff that it robs the film of any life. Aside from a few laughs, the only saving grace of this pile of B-movie trash is it is only 54 minutes.