Frozen Assets (1992) - Rotten Tomatoes

Frozen Assets (1992)



Critic Consensus: No consensus yet.

Frozen Assets Photos

Movie Info

A rising young executive is ecstatic to learn that he is to be acting president at the small-town bank his company just purchased until he gets there and realizes that it is a sperm bank. This base little comedy centers on his attempts to make the place profitable and also chronicles the growing love between himself and the uptight but pretty biologist who works there.


Corbin Bernsen
as Zach Shepard
Shelley Long
as Dr. Grace Murdock
Larry Miller
as Newton Patterson
Dody Goodman
as Mrs. Patterson
Matt Clark
as J.F. Hughes
Jeanne Cooper
as Zach Shepard's Mother
Paul Sand
as McTaggert
Teri Copley
as Peaches
Gerrit Graham
as Lewis Crandall
Gloria Camden
as Gloria the Madam
John Asher
as Bobby Murdock
Sara Ballentine
as Valentine
Lindsey Hutchinson
as Cheerleader
Gary Basey
as Clarence
Vicky Vose
as Cindy Andrews
Duffy Epstein
as Bob Gould
Michele Lane
as Mommy in Classroom
Lauren Brooks
as Lauren Walker
Linda Altus
as Expectant Mother
Lee Imperial
as Expectant Father
Jerry Basham
as Hotel Clerk
Barbara Irvin
as Hotel Clerk's Wife
Lindsey Hutchison
as Cheerleader
Christie Blackmon
as Cheerleader
Sheryl Mary Lewis
as Picketing Housewife
Ivy Wharton
as Miss Armstrong
Jacqueline Desnet
as Receptionist
Michael Weisman
as NPI Guard
Don Scorby
as TGC Guard
Lee Carau
as Black-Eyed Man
Sandi St. John
as Black-eyed Man's Wife
Charles Bernard
as Zach Shepard's Father
Brandon Wolff
as Youngest Walker Son
Dallas McKennon
as Stud of the Year/Octogenarian
Lee Carrau
as Black-eyed Man
Dal McKennon
as Stud of the Year/Octogenarian
Jesse Merz
as Neighbor (uncredited)
View All

Critic Reviews for Frozen Assets

All Critics (9) | Top Critics (6)

Bristling with terrible puns and single-entendres, Frozen Assets is the kind of movie that is so wretched you watch it with clenched eyes.

August 13, 2021 | Rating: 1/4 | Full Review…

It is the sort of frantic comedy that builds up a certain maniacal energy by trying to top itself in bad taste and ludicrous plot twists every few minutes.

August 13, 2021 | Full Review…

Like a bad home movie, Frozen Assets is a smirking, painfully self-conscious sitcom made by people from Mars.

August 13, 2021 | Full Review…

The movie manages to be worse than the most derivative cable-TV flick. It's amazingly bad.

August 13, 2021 | Rating: 1/4 | Full Review…

It's hopeless, a romantic comedy with a tricky premise that demands the utmost in inspiration to carry it off but instead receives only the most trite, stale development.

August 13, 2021 | Full Review…

Movies like Frozen Assets are small miracles. You look at them and wonder how, at any stage of the production, anyone could have thought there was a watchable movie here.

September 24, 2007 | Rating: 0/4 | Full Review…

Audience Reviews for Frozen Assets


A movie about some people trying to run a sperm bank using extraordinary measures. This movie was a bit cheesy at times but I also found it to be charming and funny.

Naughtia Nahazhina
Naughtia Nahazhina

Super Reviewer

Frozen Assets Quotes

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