The Thirsty Dead Reviews
In any case, I found the notes to the review I wanted to write, and here they are, exactly as I found them:
A true horror movie has a bongo theme.
Bongos and boobies.
If I were ever going to marry a man, I'd marry Francesco. He has an awesome jacket.
Francesco's woman just got stole by jawas.
So, the jawas are Indians . . .
Italian women are very placid if you kidnap them. They just look around. They don't try to escape. They're quiet. Always try to kidnap Italian women.
Bimbos bimbos everywhere.
Seek the guidance of Raoul.
Raoul must be a giant jello mold with a head in it. Your movie can only go so far when your bad guy is a fruit cup.
Tom Jones sings to Raoul in order to communicate.
They confiscated an old Star Trek set for this movie.
Time for a panicked run through the Star Trek set.
Wake up smelling the hand of the bloody old woman.
He's like the tribal James Brown.
"This madness is insane!"
So, Tom Jones dresses up like a Star Trek James Brown and gets saucy when chicks knock the blood bowl out of his hands.
Laura has the feminine appeal of Tom Petty.
My, that was a very long "snake-around-the-ankle" scene.
Tom Jones, Jungle Explorer.
"There is only one way through the jungle, and the others know it as well as I."
Her emotions are just shades of disgust.
Who knew Tom Jones could be such a load.
Never put a ninja star down the front of your pants.
I don't really remember what the hell happened. Sounds like a lot of fun, though.
If I watch it again, I'll get back to ya on it.
Women in cavewoman type costumes, I can handle... but bald men running around the jungle (which looks like it's mostly comprised of pine trees by the way) wearing nothing a loin cloth, is a bit harder.
Furthermore, I have routinely seen better costume design from local dance studios--and that's saying a HELL of a lot.