stormcrowdark's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Safety Not Guaranteed

I love this movie. Aubrey Plaza steals the show and while she's onscreen I could almost believe in time travel.

Dredd
Dredd(2012)
½

Absolutely amazing! Gritty and yet at the same time horribly brutal. It can all pretty much be summed up with the death scene of the movies villian I can't say I have ever seen anything so beautifully filmed and yet so horrible. Kudo's to Urban and Heady who do a great job with their parts.

Extract
Extract(2009)
½

Typical movie in the Mike Judge genre quirky off beat characters in a real world environment where everything kind of falls apart. However, unlike some of his other films like Idiocracy or Office Space this one never quite catches fire comedically. Jason Bateman does his best but the other characters never quite get to the place where they endear themselves to the audience.

The Expendables 2

Bloodier second coming of this group of action stars and again it delivers exactly what it promisses. I would say it is a touch better then the first one possibly due to the absence of Mickey Rourke crying.

Easy A
Easy A(2010)
½

A lot about this movie works, in general it is pretty funny so since it is a comedy, the mission is more then half accomplished, also it has a lot of bite as a social commentary. The treatment of this girl based on rumour and speculation is pretty true to life and has a dark overtone that is reminiscent of some of the better biting teen satires like Heathers. Where it falls down is the tacked on happy ending because this girl loves eighties John Hughes movies the whole thing eventually winds up in the same manner and it so doesn't jibe with the rest of the movies tone. Still not bad.

The Campaign
The Campaign(2012)

American fantasy movie: This is a specialized subsect of movies produced in America where there is a great belief that ultimately the system will magically take care of itself because pride in ones country will eventually tear down anyone trying to take advatage of the system and raise everyone else up. The rich and greedy pay for their crimes and the disillusioned or the loser class find their feet and become strong. Examples can be seen in The Campaign, Swing Vote, Trading Places etc. flying in the face of all historically recorded evidence so far.
That being said it's a pretty funny movie in parts and is short enough you don't feel the drag a lot of current comedies have.

The Bourne Legacy

The funny thing about reviews and when you hear them is how ultimately they are just as subjective as the art form they are trying to quantify. You'd think that someone who has dedicated their life to determining arts merrit scientifically would hold themselves and their reviews to the same standard. This isn't going anywhere but I just thought it was funny that of the 2 reviews I saw for this going in 1 my local newsaper lambasted it giving it a 1 star out of 5 and this other guy Harry Knowles said it was so much better then the Dark Knight Rises. Neither held true for me, this movie was definitely middle of the road all the way entertaining without rising to anything special completely empty calories and this was also true for the 6 people I went to the movie with for the comment "Yeah.....it was alright." flew around in a big circle. Ultimately I think that is most movies, it takes something special to make a movie either bad or good there is so much money and time and energy put in to films nowadys that it takes something exceptional (like stupidity or genius or just plain luck ) to make a movie fall one way or another. So ultimately reviews are a waste of time and so right now I am wasting time and thus this is funny to me and so well worth my time.

Total Recall
Total Recall(2012)

When you watch this movie you have to decide what is real, is it the highly unlikely but happier spy saves the world single handedly or the more likely unhappy factory worker who's tired of his marriage lost in a drug fantasy dying slowly in a coma lost in his happy dreams. In the original I was kind of split as to what happened but in this one I am pretty convinced he is dying because most of the movie is pretty unlikely and that is saying something being in a more unconvinvcingly real action movie then Arnold Swartzenegger. Still the action is pretty good and you can't go too wrong staring at Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel.

The Watch
The Watch(2012)
½

Entertaining if not fantastically well crated movie. Unfortunately like most modern comedies there seems to only be one punchline/joke and that is: Penis!

The Five-Year Engagement
½

There is a lot of funny bits and funny people in this movie. This is a movie about a relationship, and the problem with people talking about relationships is no matter how simpathetic you are to someone talking about all the problems in their relationship, it eventually, by the second hour starts to sound a lot like an annoying whine. Once agian Judd Apatow goes quite a bit over the boundy of common sense when it comes to timing out his movies.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
½

If you need to see a good movie about the end of the world watch "Last Night" which this movie basically copies with limited success.

The Dark Knight Rises
½

So much awesome in this movie! Bane: Awesome! Catwoman: Awesome! The returning cast: Awesome! This is the end but it is a legendarily good end.

The Amazing Spider-Man

The movie has some really great things working for it, the acting is better, the action is off the hook and Spider-Man has web shooters (yay). What isn't so great is the story, there is some genuinely terrible dialogue and story set up going on here, it starts with some promise but as it goes along what should be a fairly simple (and classic) story is mishandled at every oportunity I suppose done with the intention of distancing itself of the other recent Spider-Man movies. For example Uncle Ben should have one line "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility" Instead he says "You have a lot of skills kid and if you can do good things then you should probably do them." One is simple and gets to the point the other is overwritten muddled and misses the point and that is the basic problem for this movie. Still it is a summer movie and action counts for more then story generally so it's a decent 3.

Disaster Movie

I think Mad TV was/is a much bettter show then Saturday Night Live and in gerneral the cast from the show over the years have been much more talented then the actors from SNL. That said this movie staring 3 very talented Mad TV cast members has to be one of the worst most offensive things I have ever seen. There was exactly 1 and a half genuine laughs and there is something like a thousand actual joke attempts if these odds appeals to you good luck.

Batman: Year One

You can't lose with WB animation they seem incapable of producing an inferior product. This movie is a little more moody and dramatic then a lot of their other movies but has enough action to keep the movie moving. Only 2 things keep it from being perfect for me 1)I didn't love the animation it was good but I have seen them do better 2)While it is mostly about James Gordon's origin they also run through Batman's origin again and that has been done to death.
Still good movie.

Superman vs. The Elite

I love this movie as it tries to show that we should all aspire to be better and together we can overcome the monsters of the world because that is the only way it can be done. Still somewhere in the back of my mind I can't help but think the Elite win because doesn't Superman prove that might makes right for who is more mighty then he?

Rock of Ages
Rock of Ages(2012)

Musicals are stupid. Stopping in the middle of any action to burst into song is just ridiculous. So the over the top silliness of the '80's is just the perfect setting and stupidity blends right in. This movie is just fun, the music is fun, the actors seem to be having fun it is just fun. I mean the whole CZJ/PMRC took me right back to the day and how the media focusses on loud mouthed idiots, gee how times have changed....or not.
Kudos to all the actors, especially Tom Cruise who once again just dominates, I don't like everything he does but there is no doubt he's talented.
One thing though, the movie sneers at boy bands and defies it with hair metal (and don't get me wrong I loved it) which ironically is sort of the boy band trend of the time, I guess though that even the illusion of rebellion is better then the soul sucking pop that to which the current music industry has descended. Also the PMRC clone sings "We're not gonna take it" which is the ultimate '80's rebellion tune at the rockers and in reply the hard core rockers sing "We built this city on rock'n'roll" by Starship a song so harmless and bland my high school played every morning before class (and thus drove me out of my mind (just kidding that happened long before hand)). So a little out of place but that's just nitpicking and is more then compensated for by all the hot women in the movie.

The Wolfman
The Wolfman(2010)

This has all the elements of a classic horror picture, it has action and bloody horror, it has the beautiful and atmosphere of 19th century England and a forbidding moor and the whole star crossed lovers thing, yet somehow it just doesn't strike the right note. I am not sure if it is the performances or the pacing but something just doesn't click and so the movie falls a little flat. I should like it more but I don't.

Prometheus
Prometheus(2012)
½

Meh.Not to say there isn't a lot to like about the movie, it is beautifully shot and the undertlying hard sci-fi story about human origins is kind of interesting. The performances are uniformly good especially from Fassbender and Rapace.Where it falls down are the aliens. Unfortunately the problem with the Alien franscise is that the aliens are magic, they are biological entities that break every rule of being biological entities so that they can conveniently kill the crew in unepected ways. 3' out of their reach don't worry they have an extra extendable mouth, cut them they have acid blood, they survive in every kind of environment and aparently last forever, they grow alarmingly fast with no source of ,food or sutenance and know how to jump ot of nowhere. In a hard SF story magic monsters don't really work.The other problem is the pacing, have you ever watched a movie where you notice the hardness of the seat more then what is happening on screen? Or that time seems to have slowed to a crawl? that was mostly my reaction to this movie. Good attempt it just doesn't track or for me entertain.

Snow White and the Huntsman

This movie seems a little cribbed from several fantasy movies I have watched in the past, still many of them were from the last century so will be new to many others. It somehow isn't as good to me as these movies but it isn't horrible.There were a lot of similarities to the movie Willow in both the characters of the Huntsman and the Queen, some of the fantasy sequences had a very Legend feel to them, of course there was a little LOTR thrown in but somehow the movie reminded me the most of the movie Krull. It seems on the surface to be a very different movie but the dialogue and the jumpy way the movie was structured just reminded me of that fantasy classic.
On the bonus side I liked the way the Queen was portrayed and Kristin Stewart wasn't horrible and since the only thing I have seen her in before was Twilight I can only assume her acting in that movie was brought down by the overall mediocrity of that phenomenon.

Never Cry Werewolf
½

It's basically Fright Night with a werewolf instead of a vampire. It's OK for the level of budget it has and Nina Dobrev and Kevin Sorbo are pretty watchable.

Dark Shadows
Dark Shadows(2012)
½

This movie on paper should have rocked. There is sooo much talent here from director to all the actors and placing this movie in the 70's it's like instant comedy gold (because the 70's was mostly a joke(BTW have you ever noticed that movies placed in 70's always look washed out, what's the deal with that?)).
The movie both has too much content and too little. Burton jams 4 or 5 diferent forms of comedy that distract from one another and the movie loses focus. However at the same time we find out so little about the characters (excepting Depp's Barnabus) there are plot points that come out of nowhere and there is so much hinted at that is never explored. Still there is a lot of talented actors and some songs by Alice Cooper so it is a pass.

Screamers: The Hunting

This movie should have been called Screamers the Huntening because that would be about the right level of cheese. Sci-fi shouldn't just be tech-jargon words strung together by pseudo soldiers with very little common sense or meaning.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
½

In general not really my cup of tea as it is a slow moving character peice but for some reason I enjoyed it so that says something....I think.

Safe
Safe(2012)

Not the best I have seen from Statham. This movies has plot holes that you could drop New York into but it does have some action (shaky camera blurry action but that is another problem). Not a great movie but it passes the time.

The Pirates! Band of Misfits
½

This was very funny and it kept me and my 5 year old neice entertained and if that isn`t a childrens movie recomendation I don`t know what could be. My neices favourite part were the `dancing mice``.

Doomsday
Doomsday(2008)

Typical Escape From New York/Mad Max clone though it works the genre pretty well. Plus there is a little Scotland/England historical subtext going on.

Cop Out
Cop Out(2010)
½

This movie should work there is a lot of good people involved but it doesn't at all because it's just a mess top to bottom. There's a few funny bits and a couple of interesting ideas but its crushed under people mugging and shouting obsenities at the camera.

Lockout
Lockout(2012)

Guy Pearce steals the show as a wiseacre action guy right out of 80's . Not a lot of thinking going on in this one but it's still fun.

The Cabin in the Woods
½

This is the grand unifying equation of horror movies. It explains every horror movie you have ever seen and the random choices and odd stereotypes that you have seen for years and years. This movie is so meta that someone could do a doctoral thesis on it and still have layers of subtext and meaning to be unexplored. Unfortunately I don't want to get to far into it because it would spoil some of the surprises contained in this gem.
Let's just say Cabin in the Woods not only manages to flip the genre on its head but does it in a fun and suprising way and still manages to be a good horror movie.

The Raid: Redemption
½

There is no stopping in this movie, it is like a boulder hanging off the side of a cliff. It hangs ther but you know it is gonna fall and once it does it just doesn`t stop. There is nothing but action, action, action a couple of quiet reflective momernts and then more action. The fights with the Mad Dog character are epic.

Underworld: Awakening

What can I say it's got a lot of action and Kate Beckinsale in rubber pants so it's fun and probably accomplishes any mission you are going to this movie for: fun. It is probably on par with the first one if you liked that you will most likely like this one.

The Woman in Black

For me this is a true horror picture, you can keep your gore fests and clownishly comic monster/serial killers but give me a creepy victorian mansion everytime. This movie has atmosphere in spades (if you will forgive the grave digger humour) and works up a pretty frightening premise involving the loss of children. Where it falls down is that the story has no twists or turns and the monster of the peice has no real pathos to it, plus the ending is a little weak.

John Carter
John Carter(2012)

Suprisingly good. Something about the lead up to this movie made me dread seeing it, perhaps the buzz, perhaps the comercials but I had the sense that it was going to be bad. I was very wrong, it was entertaining, with good action and good effects with a fairly interesting story. The movie drags a few times but comes out as an all around entertaining romp.

Planet 51
Planet 51(2009)

Gorgeous animation but it doesn't quite make the leap to fantastic.

The Warrior's Way
½

The heightened reality of the story might bother some people but I found it to be somewhat beautiful like a fairy tale. In the end the story is just what all westerns and easterns are about, violence no matter how good you are at it is a sad way to be and surviving in the end isn't really living.

The Book of Eli

Good action. Good acting. Fairly weak premise/payoff.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Nice reversal of the horror genre with a likable cast.

Justice League: Doom

DC animated can do no wrong. Kind of like they are modeling their animation department after Batman.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
½

I love Ghost Rider as a character but this movie does him no favours. Nic Cage turns in the worst performance I have ever seen from him, way over the top in every scene. The rest of the cast is about as bad as Mr. Cage, Idris Elba being the only bright spark and even that is underused. Worst of all nand this is the cardinal sin, it is boring, there is no action at all. I can forgive bad acting, poor story but no action in a action movie that is a crime in a movie.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

How can you go wrong with RDJ and Guy Ritchie doing another unconventional take on this most conventional of sleuths? You can't and with the stakes raised with the actual involvement of Prof. Moriarty i this one it may be even better then the first.

Fred Claus
Fred Claus(2007)

Good movie. Just it's a little frustrating for geeks like me because there is so much left unexplained about who could fire Santa? Who are the brothers are they strictly human? And so much else, wisely they decided that if you could believe in a guy flying around the world in one night delivering presents to every child without explanation you could just swallow everything else in the story too and it works, in a cute love the holidays emotional way, It's just a little frustrating if you like to put reasons to everything in a story.

Johnny English Reborn

Gotta say I enjoyed this movie it wasn't the sharpest written thing I have ever seen but it did what it set out to do and that was make me laugh.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
½

I can't really remember the original, so I can't say how close this is in spirit to that movie. However, I am willing to bet the begining and middle is probably close to the original I just really liked it, they skipped a lot of the Hollywood cliches and didn't dumb down the characters into cliches and then the last 20 minutes it turned into a stupid Hollywood chase movie and I lost interest. There is no drama in the hero character holding the villian at gunpoint with the villian yelling at him to shoot him. We all know how it ends especially if and this is the caser there is no discernable reason for the hero character to be there at all.
Would have been a 3 without the end.

Away We Go
Away We Go(2009)
½

A rather interesting portrait of what it means to make a family. A couple about to have a child discover that the childs grandparents are moving out of the country before the child's birth. Being that the only reason they were staying in the area was to be close to family they begin a cross (bi-) country trek to find the perfect place to settle their new family. In the process they run across a gammut of different families with different parenting styles; from self-obsessed neglect to smothering to new age madness.
At points touching and a little preachy it manages for the most part to keep the tone light and entertaining. Pretty good movie.

Conan the Barbarian

Conan is back and well ,"Let the slaughter begin!" Everything you could associate with Conan is here violence, bloodshed and hot half naked chicks. I only really had 3 problems with it:
1) First and most importantly the revenge plot. I hate the revenge plot. There is no point to the main character in every movie having to get revenge for the death of someone (father, wife , sister etc) sometimes the character could just stop something because it needs to be stopped the whole make it personal thing has just been done to death and its just not in the character of Conan (despite what the Swartzy movie would have you believe.)
2)What was the deal with the mask other then being vaguely creepy with the bad guys face he didn't seem to get much from it, totally wasted plot point.
3) Is for 3d I really don't care for it.
Still it was pretty good, lots of action and me I just love Conan and his philosophy.

Cowboys & Aliens

This movie is a little hard to qualify. It has some really great elements: actors like Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Daniel Craig, some decent action scenes, decent production quality and best of all Olivia Wilde's beautiful crazy special effect-like eyes. Still it drags a bit towards the middle and the story doesn't really go anywhere. Still it's a bit of fun, just don't think too hard about what's going on.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
½

If only the series had ended with this instead of the lame let's be the ancestors of present society crap. Still an interesting look at the cylon side of things that makes the show a bit more coherent.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Marvel does it again and this time its almost all off the strength of their characters.
The story is meh. There is a few really good sequences but it stays pretty shallow, instead it acts like a showpeice for the personalities of the characters to shine through. Captain America is more then a jingo-istic thug (as he often has been in the comics) he is a genuinely good guy that you can't help but like, trying to do his best at all times. Weaving as the Red Skull has the same advantage there is no redeeming feature to the character (except maybe he is the only person to kill any Nazi's) he is bad all the way down and Weaving just owns the part.
All the characters just shine through from Tommy Lee Jones' tough no-nonsense Colonel, to Tucci's Dr. Erskine, Stan's Bucky Barnes, Atwell's Agent Carter and even the background soldiers get their moments, May I just say also in terms of Atwell "Hubba-hubba what a tommato!" Ok that's out of my system...
Still there isn't a lot of plot, things are happening but they aren't really growing and changing. These characters are icons, legends if you will they are who they are and make no apologies for it and perhaps wisely that is the best showcase for this story.

Horrible Bosses
½

A fairly funny throwback to the "Three Stooges" type of comedy (with a little more verbal jabbing then physical, though there is some of that too) where 3 idiots find themselves way over their heads when an idle musing about killing their bosses leads them to start to plan it. Worth a look.

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher(2011)
½

Not terrible just not rally funny and it doesn't go anywhere. It's a story about a narcisist who destroys another teacher who is a little too tightly wound and so is in her way of being a slacker. There is no overarching moral or anything except that Diaz's character learns she is a "Bad Teacher". Hey the circle is complete. Still it's not horrible and Diaz and Punch do a fair job.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids(2011)
½

Interesting look at personal relationships and the solitude of living. Each of of us live in the cages of our lives and lose the perspective of the pain that those surrounding us live in due to our own pain. One woman goes on a journey of self discovery in the midst of a nervous breakdown. Sound like a comedy? Well actually it is a not unfunny one either.

Green Lantern

I don't know what's going on. I had heard so many negative review s of this movie and so much bile piled up against it that I was expecting Van Helsing or Catwoman or even Van Helsing meets Catwoman with special guest star Elektra. In the end of it all I watch the movie and its fine., The story isn't Shakespeare but it moves along , its entertaining. The acting is OK and the action sequences are good. It's as good as anything I've seen from Marvel and it sets up well for sequels. Perhaps the only movie I have enjoyed seeing in 3d and yes that includes Avatar (which was a fine film but not helped by its 3d)
Probably only rates a 3 and a half but I'm going to rate it a 4 to balance out some of the drama queens out there.

Yes Man
Yes Man(2008)

Not terrible standard Hollywood comedy about a man stuck in a rut who tries something different and then goes too far. A few funny parts make up for what is pretty much a carbon copy of several other films.

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights

This is just awesome! It takes some of the best stories from the GL universe and translates it for this movie. Fun and interesting. DC does it again.

X-Men: First Class

I came in not expecting much and came out thinking that this might be the best of the X franchise so far. Not completely comic cannon but I think the changes were better in a lot of ways.

Scream 4
Scream 4(2011)

When you scream the first time it's shocking and its visceral and it cuts through the area but it can be a bit rough. When you scream the second time your voice is broken in and it comes out louder but it has lost a lot of the shock. When you scream the third time there should be a hint of question in it, should you still be screaming no matter how you do it you've lost the visceral connection to your audience and you may begin to wear on their nerves. If you scream a fourth time you have descended into parody even if you are really heartfelt people have just stopped paying attention because its just background noise at this point.
There is a lot to recommend this movie it is directed well it is written well there are a lot of talented people but I've seen it and it doesn't really break any new ground. Still I liked it even if the killers couldn't really be the killers because the timelines don't track. Also good news for the police forces of soap operas, there are more incompetent law enforcement agencies they are in the Scream movies.

Your Highness
½

This movie probably only raters 3 stars but this movie was made for me. You see back before Lord of the Rings fantasy movies used to suck. They were low budget and ernest and just horrible but for fantasy geeks like me they were the be all end all. Sure there was the odd exceptions like Willow or for some Conan the Barbarian but mostly there were titles like Yor Hunter from the Future, Deathstalker, Gor or well Hawk the Slayer. Anyway this movie references a lot of the greats like Clash of the Titans , Conan and Hawk the Slayer, Willow and a lot of the little fantasy movies I grew up on so gets extra points from me,
It's a little uneven but mostly funny.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

It's pure stream of conscious nonsense but I found it funny and really in a comedy that's all that matters.

Thor
Thor(2011)

Marvel can do no wrong or so it seems. Director Kenneth Branaugh takes a comic book movie which at first glance at the material seems impossible to adapt and makes a fun summer movie that cleaves true to the source material. The Avengers is looking more and more promising.
Hiddleston shines as Loki and Hemsworth more thebn does justicew to the character of Thor. If you just go to the movies to look at pretty people the cast more then provides for the amount of drool worthy people on screen.
In the same quality range as the first Iron Man.

Twilight
Twilight(2008)

Well sometimes despite all your instincts screaming don't do it, you do it anyway just because you feel you have to and then your instincts just sit their gloating and looking all smug. This movie made me want to hit my instincts because of just how smug they looked. I had heard before this about how bad the acting was, how silly the plot was how shallow the romance was but all of that didn't bother me at all. The acting wasn't bad the dialogue the actors were forced to recite was terrible, Olivier would have quit the business if he had to do 3 lines of this movie. The plot wasn't silly, it was non-existant, there is literally no story, this is the Seinfeld episode of movies. The romance isn't shallow, the characters of Bella and Edward are just soooooo unlikable I feel like I couldn't type enough O's to express this fact and the Pattenson kid is made up to look creepy weird.
Just to nitpick this is a town of 3000 people why is there like a school of like 9000 kids. Also what is the deal with vampires and high school kids do they like need to be around people who haven't started to decay yet? Anyway it's a pretty crap film but I've seen worse, I can't say if it is a good adaptation of the source material because this time I am going to listen to my instincts.

Sucker Punch
Sucker Punch(2011)

There are positives to this movie 1) It's pretty. Its well shot and the battle sequences can only be described as neat. 2)The women are cute. 3)Uhh...they tried something new? It's certainly not like anything I have ever seen before. 4) ...I got nothing.
The movie is basically pretty bad in all other respects it just doesn't go anywhere, the philosophy that underpins the movie is grating and annoying, the acting that is allowed on screen is bad and the story is confusing and badly plotted. The last is possibly because they had to re-shoot it to get a different rating, hopefully a directors cut would make it better but I'll never know because I won't be watching it.
One last thing I would have liked a different landing then the Superman descending pose, every time somebody did a jump it ended in the same pose. Shake it up!

Robin-B-Hood
Robin-B-Hood(2006)

Straight up comedy handled ably by Koo and Chan which is great. However, they put the kid in danger a lot...I mean a lot including one scene where they are reviving the baby with cables attached to a car battery which somewhat damps down the fun a little. But on the other hand you will never see anything like this in a Hollywood comedy so the risks may pay off for some viewers. Also breaking the Hollywood mold the main characters do some really despicable things before they learn the inevitable lesson.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
½

Khan!!!!! Khan!!!!!!!!!! ...uh yeah Khan is the best. The needs of the few are far outweighed by the enjoyment of many in this the best of the Star Trek movie franchise.

Paul
Paul(2011)
½

Lots of fun sci-fi references. Plus funny what's to lose!

All-Star Superman

The weakest of the DC cartoons I've seen except for Superman Doomsday. However it's still pretty good. The problem comes from the fact that there is way too much story and the writers just shoe horn characters and plot in and it just doesn't flow.

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Carrey still manages to mug his way through like 10 pounds of make-up and prostethics, the dude is a special effect unto himself. Doesn't hold a candle to the orriginal book or the TV cartoon but still entertaining.

Bangkok Dangerous
½

There are things to like with this movie, Cage is understated for a change, when there is action it is decent and the far to overused story of the tortured hitman is handled competently. Unfortunately It's just a bit slow and very predictable if you want to see this one I suggest you watch The Killer(with Mr.Chow) or The Mechanic (with Statham) both of which are much better.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

A pleasant comedy in the Home Alone genre. The movie is silly and far from realistic but it is pulled through by charismatic performances by James and Mays. Much like the title character not a winner but it seriously tries.

The Mechanic
The Mechanic(2011)
½

Nothing wrong with this movie. Entertaining, fairly good acting and a fair bit of decent action. Not spectacular but it doesn't miss the mark by much either.
Ha! Ha! Assassin pun!

School for Scoundrels
½

There are a couple of laughs in it but this movie is an example of how pacing is so important for comedies, this movie drags unforgivably in portions without even trying to be funny. Still a marginal pass if only for the mace scene in the elevator.
Look for Big Bang Theory's Jim Parsons as non-speaking but present in every group shot character.

Battlefield Earth
½

Ha! Ha! Ha!.... What it's not a comedy? ....oh

Croupier
Croupier(2000)
½

The thing about art films is that they are very predictable because in their attempt to show how complex and interesting their characters are they tend to make things very dumb. Still and all Alex Kingston is naked at one point so it isn't completely bad.

The Green Hornet

Just fun! A fast paced, witty tribute to a little known superhero.I'm a Hornet fan and this is a fairly good update to the character. Rogen manages to both be annoying and wholly likable somehow in this part and his chemistry with Chou is off the charts. The movie isn't perfect but far better then the critics who probably didn't actually watch the movie will have you believe.
Waltz as the kingpin of crime who goes through an image/midlife crisis also comes off pretty well.

Killers
Killers(2010)

Light, fluffy entertainment. There isn't anything too substantial about this film but it there really shouldn't be. Yes Mr and Mrs Smith did this premise better but it's still an OK way to kill a couple of hours. If you like the leads, Kutcher and Heigl, they will pull you through, if you don't I wouldn't bother.

The Hills Have Eyes

Wow!
I guess I am just too jaded or cynical or something the new type of modern horror is just terrible. O corn syrup! Oooo prosthetic effects that make all bad guys look weird zombie creatures (even if they are not zombies). Look I get it Hollywood likes formula and this generations horror formula is take away all suspense and storytelling for copious amounts of (yawn) blood and cute chicks screaming. Man I know I liked Evil Dead and Dead Alive but now I am starting to regret it because it's like they took away any chance these guys will bother coming up a good or different story because they have to push the envelope farther in order to compete. Eli Roth stick to acting.

The Mad
The Mad(2007)

Finally a zombie horror flick that treats the subject matter the way it deserves to be treated: detached amusement. OK while not high budget, I still found it to be entertaining if in a quirky and strange way. The relationship between father and daughter (Zane and Castle) anchors the film.

Tron Legacy
Tron Legacy(2010)

Entertaining if not overly spectacular. It is just a slightly more polished version of the original. At least the movie actually had Tron in it, I feared that the movie might just use the name with no particular reason for it.

Machete
Machete(2010)

Truthfully I couldn't get all the way through this film. I got like 80-85%. I tried I just couldn't. There are a couple of good action sequences but mostly it's slow with huge amounts of overbearing preachy clunky plot over laid with random gore and terrible B-movie performances. I understand that it has been crafted to be an homage to the bad action films of the 70's but the question is: When does a homage to bad movies just become a bad movie itself? Pretty damn fast in this case. Better then Grindhouse, much, much worse then Dusk till Dawn or Desperado.

Unstoppable
Unstoppable(2010)

Good entertaining movie. However, I've seen it. You've seen it. Some sort of disaster happens, bosses ignore it and then ignore the advice of the heroes on how to deal with it, the heroes then take matters into their own hands and (TA-DA-DA!) they save the day.
Ignore the based on true events garbage at the beginning it is obviously highly dramatized and fairly sill in terms of what happens.
A note to Ethan Supplee: Way to play a niche in Hollywood, big dim guy, I think that it is a good way to ascertain job security.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1

By far the most grim and dark of the Potter movies, really not a kids movie but still it has the magic. If you've followed the rest it's a must see.

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

I can't get enough of the DC animated stuff it is always so good. They continue the story of the Superman/Batman comic and bring in the heavy hitter of DC badguys Darkseid. Some good action and some good voice talent (although Michael Ironside is the quintessential Darkseid for me but that's just nitpicking Braugher is good).

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

In a musical to be a good movie you live and die on the catchiness of the songs. It's a fair movie but excepting the song about eating the different people in London it doesn't really come through musically.
Very dark though and not for children in the least.

Inception
Inception(2010)

Awesome mind bending experience the best sci-fi film since the Matrix (the first one not the sucky sequels).

Avatar
Avatar(2009)
½

Well I finally saw it, in a theatre in 3D. I couldn't buy into the hype and feared from all the build up that I would be bitterly disappointed because it sounded like style over substance and I wasn't completely wrong it wasn't the best movie ever but it was pretty decent. You get some pretty good visuals, some really good special effects, a story that is a little too preachy and a might too long but ultimately picks up in the end. The characters despite all the time are a little under developed somehow and that is OK because this is a love letter to a planet and in the end how can I complain about a fantasy movie based around blue elves fighting human invaders.
PS I am still not a fan of 3D.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

A completely different film experience from anything I have ever seen before. It's like they combined Fellini hyper reality with video game sensibility mixed it with some indy music, a good cast and a whole ton of humour. A unique and worthwhile viewing experience about relationships and leveling up.

The Expendables

Dumb as hell but did you expect something else? The plot makes no sense the characterization is terrible the dialogue borders on laughable. But is it fun? Hell yeah! Lots of things go boom and some ass gets kicked and that is all you can expect from a movie that has told you right up front that that is all it would be about.

Knight & Day
Knight & Day(2010)

Standard action movie but Tom Cruise runs away with this one and plays interestingly with nod and a wink to his current press reputation. Worth a look just for his performance thoough Diaz's performance is surprisingly flat.

Dinner for Schmucks
½

I hate to say this but this movie is funny in spite of Steve Carell. This movie anchored by the dependable and far underrated Paul Rudd has a lot of interesting themes running trough it about social acceptance and just what makes one person a schmuck (like say Carell's character) and another like the idiotic self-involved artist Kieran (played with scene stealing brilliance by Jemaine Clement) a superstar. Overall the rest of the cast is just brilliant.
Still, Carell is the focus of the film and the star and he just doesn't deliver the goods and any laughs he does get seems to rely rather heavily on Paul Rudd's reactions. I hate to say this as I have enjoyed his work in the past, (The Office, The Daily Show, Anchorman) the more he does staring roles the less confidence I have that he can carry a film. Perhaps it is time to take a step back and work as a supporting actor again.

The Other Guys
½

There are quite a few big laugh moments in this film, however, all the in between stuff is just dead. If you can wait parts of this movie out the movie balances on the OK side if you can't then rent a better movie like Anchorman and relive Will Ferrells glory days.

Lord Love a Duck
½

Dark and somewhat evil satire of the shallow "want" society of Southern California where appearance and desire are the be all end all of existence. Everything is attacked here: religion, school, psychiatry, age, the movie industry, love and "Wild Bikini" beach movement of the 60's.
Perhaps the funniest thing is that no matter how bad and shallow the writers and director thought things were at the time in this society 44 years later it is sooo much worse. Hmm, perhaps nobody watched this movie and got it's message.

The A-Team
The A-Team(2010)

As a fan of the original series I got to say this movie could have been a lot worse. The cast is excellent, especially Copley as HM Murdoch and Neeson as Hannibal. However, the direction bothered me there were too many of the shaky camera action scenes and the dialogue was often spoken over other actors speaking dialogue so some of the characterization went for naught. The second problem is the premise of the story the A-Team is like Robin Hood it works best as a story if they are helping someone, in this they are helping themselves by clearing their names it doesn't flow as well as it could have and it's been done to death. Despite all this though it is not a terrible action movie though I think the Losers from earlier this year might have been better.

Get Him to the Greek
½

Very funny. Rude, crude but with surprising heart. Rockstars and some celebrities like gladiators of ancient times we pay them and encourage them to watch them die. This movie tries to find a reason for one Aldous Snow of Forgetting Sarah Marshall fame to get past that and get back to his music.

The Omega Man

I believe Chuck more in this movie then any other. If I was the guy who inadvertently killed all of mankind and found myself quite alone I would probably be acting like Chuck normally does.
It should be interesting to see what Will Smith will do with this part in the remake this year.

Whip It
Whip It(2009)
½

Fairly uneven and slow. There is a lot of good to it but it seems like the movie can't concentrate long enough on what it wants to be for it to come across. The sports part of of isn't shot particularly well, the family drama plot seems rushed and didn't particularly seem well translated the romance doesn't play and the fun background characters seem clipped. Could have been better but the elements were there.

Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2(2010)

Can't complain too much about this one RDJ is born to play this part and the movie is just flat out fun and has plenty of plot to chew on. Perhaps, and only just perhaps that is the one down side so much is included. Not as good as the first one but not far off the mark.

27 Dresses
27 Dresses(2008)
½

Typical rom-com with no surprises and poor writing. Only 2 things make this movie watchable the actors are all very charismatic and this movie acknowledges that the characters have deep psychological problems which is the only way that anyone could exist in the Rom-Com limbo that these people put themselves into.

Gunless
Gunless(2011)
½

Funny and light comedy that neatly skewers the old west code of the gun mythos in American culture. It also pokes a bit of fun at the Canadians and the superstar status they accord an American gunfighter and of course no Canadian historical comedy movie would be complete without a jab or two at the Dudley Doright mountie myth. All in all a nice feel good film.

Alice in Wonderland

Shouldn't fantasy have some imagination in it? Well Tim Burton doesn't think so, or at least not if Alice in Wonderland is any indication. Don't get me wrong the visuals (if that is what you go to movies for) are quite good but every other creative aspect of the film is quite blah. The story is so by rote they probably didn't even need a script, character has problems in life, character comes to a strange world character is the chosen one, character denies chosen one status, character has adventures trying to get home, character makes unlikely allies, character accepts status, character wins and character goes home where new found confidence evaporates all their previous problems. I've seen it, you've probably seen it, it's been done and done better (see Labyrinth). Alice in Wonderland(the original story) is an anarchic tale a brilliant test for the imagination, this movie a hybrid of the original and Through the Looking Glass stripped of all its political and social commentary is just another exercise in Hollywood parting us from our money.

The Losers
The Losers(2010)

It's just fun. There isn't much more you can say about this film. There is nothing earthshaking or groundbreaking in this film it's a straight up and down you've seen this before but the characters are likable, the acting isn't horrible and the plot doesn't make you want to vomit.
All in all a nice timewaster.

Kick-Ass
Kick-Ass(2010)
½

I think Mathew Vaughn is rapidly becoming one of my favourite directors, I liked Layer Cake, I loved Stardust and this movie is just brilliant. Though perhaps not as brilliant as the performance by Moretz who just rampages through the movie like Godzilla on steroids.

Hot Tub Time Machine
½

As comedies go this could have been better. There are elements that work in this movie the acting isn't terrible, quite a few of the jokes hit and the '80's is always good for a few laughs.So much also doesn't connect: The dialogue is terrible, possibly the worst I have seen in any movie for a while, the romance between Cussack and Caplan feels tacked on and Rob Corddry's character pushes the bounds of likability to the point where you can't really care what happens to him. All in all worth the trip back in time to convince yourself to rent instead of pay money at the theater.

Clash of the Titans

Really good special effects. The story is a little changed from both the original movie and quite a bit changed from the original myth and somehow worse then either. The acting isn't of great caliber but not absolutely terrible.

Outlander
Outlander(2009)
½

Really pretty decent little movie. I wasn't expecting much going in to it and I was very pleasantly surprised. It has good special effects, the acting is pretty fair and the story is interesting and offbeat. Aliens and Vikings how can you lose?

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths

It's kind of a bridge between the 2 Justice League cartoons , Justice League and Justice League Unlimited but what a bridge! Once again the DC animation people elevate the game and if you are a fan at all this is a must see.

Shutter Island

Excellent acting, brilliant directing, but the story arc will take you exactly where you've been before if you've ever seen any similar movies. There are no surprises but it doesn't disappoint either.

Trick 'r Treat
½

If you grew up enjoying movies like Creepshow or Tales from the Darkside or TV shows like well Tales from the Darkside or Tales from the Crypt or even Amazing Stories this is a movie for you. There are several stories of horror that are interwoven together, all of them quite entertaining, some working better then others but no duds.

Crank 2: High Voltage

Everything in this movie is cranked up one notch higher. There is more nudity, more violence, more swearing and more stylized camera tricks. Unfortunately, there is also a co-responding lack of sense and plot. Fun but not a great movie.

Cannibal! The Musical (Alferd Packer: The Musical)

The low budget makes this a little hard to watch but overall it's still got the brilliance that people will come to expect from Trey Parker and his buddy Matt Stone. I think I will go make a snowman.

Heartstopper
Heartstopper(2006)

The worst movie I have seen in quite awhile with a laughable storyline where some serial killer comes back to life possessed by a demon during some tornado emergency at some hospital. Lots of blood, little sense, no acting.

My Name Is Bruce

Bruce Campbell laughs a bit at himself and the wacky industry he is in, in this low budget but highly entertaining movie. A must see for fans of the Evil Dead genre or just the man himself.

Sherlock Holmes

A revised Sherlock Holmes for the 21st century that somehow remains true to the Sherlock Holmes stories. Little asides put in by Watson in the stories (say his martial arts expertise or his professional bare knuckle brawling) is magnified so that he can be more a man of action.
Pretty damn entertaining.

In Bruges
In Bruges(2008)

In some ways this is the typical British gangster film with the rapid fire swearing and the oddly reflective criminals but in others it is so much deeper. Set in the picturesque "fairytale" city of Bruges where two hitman have been sent to lie low after their last job in London, Bruges becomes a kind of surreal canvas where they struggle with the reality of their job and the type of people they want to be. Quirky and fun.

City of Ember

Interesting kids fantasy movie about the acceptance of social decay because of the "It's all we know!" factor. Better for kids then adults but not so bad for the latter.

Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder

Not the best that I have seen from this franchise but it has a couple of funny moments. Worth seeing only if you have seen the rest.

Ninja Assassin
½

A really good action movie that breaks a few of the typical action movie conventions. Lots of cool action sequences and more blood then you'll see outside of a horror movie. The best action movie I have seen in a while.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
½

Far too young for my taste aimed at the young teen to preteen market but it wasn't horrible although the friendlying up of the vampire by Hollywood continues.

Law Abiding Citizen
½

An American Faerie tale, where one man cowboys up and holds a whole city in fear. Butler's character is able to bring the system to its knees in an attempt to shine a light on the loss of justice for the sake of law. Along the way interesting questions are raised about the rights of the public vs the rights of criminals and what exactly is an appropriate amount of justice for horrific crimes (the system's idea vs the victims). Nothing is answered of course in the end its just a slick Hollywood thriller, but fairly entertaining.

Couples Retreat

Ok well even though I could have just turned off my brain and given this a pass based on Kristen Bell in a bikini (or Malin Akerman or Kristin Davis or even the new to me Kali Hawk) or even the beautiful cinematography but I actually liked the story and the characters. The first 3/4's of this movie has a fairly realistic tone where you can picture couples like this who have lost their connection to each other because of the pressures of the world.
The dialogue comes at you a mile a minute as you would expect from a Vince Vaughn/Jon Favreau joint and is usually pretty funny. Where it falls down for me is it goes a little flat at the end where the usual happy Hollywood ending is tacked on but I liked the characters enough that I was kind of happy for the fluff.

Zombieland
Zombieland(2009)

Probably the best movie I have seen all year. A zombie movie but better then any other zombie movie I've seen because there isn't a lot of time wasted on the cliches and stupid explanations about what the zombies are and how they are made they just get on with the movie. Right from the opening notes of the movie soundtrack you can feel that this movie is going to be fun and it doesn't disapoint, it's a roller-coaster of a ride.

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

An interesting story where the villain is the legitimate authority and the two icons of law and authority are in fact outlaws. They got the best of the voice actors Kevin Conroy and Clancy Brown to reprise their roles (Batman and Lex Luthor respectively) and the even got Tim Daly to reprise Superman (though I think I might prefer George Newburn personally) The relationship between Batman and Superman is interesting and there is plenty of action in terms of super-powered fighting.
The downside comes from the animation which just doesn't appeal to me and the story seems somewhat clipped as they try to fit in so much content.

Surrogates
Surrogates(2009)

It's an entertaining movie and it is probably fairly realistic in a sci-fi kinda way, if people could live through robots they would. Look at all the people who spend all their time on the internet, hee-hee. Still the movie is a little stale, a lot of movie cliches come out to play, the driven almost rogue cop, the marriage problems, the dead kid, etc, etc. You've seen this movie before without the sci-fi twist if you have seen almost any hero cop movie in the last 30 years but still it isn't bad.

Futurama: Bender's Game
½

The best and the funniest of the three Futurama movies. Some of it is a little specific to nerds (like me) and D&D as it is dedicated to Gary Gygax but still has the most funny I've seen from this franchise for awhile.

Next
Next(2007)

Sure it's a cool power but the whole premise is just stupid that the FBI would waste time and resources on the possibility that someone could see 2 minutes into the future to stop a nuclear attack instead of doing their job. That being said the whole rest of the movie is kind of stupid too. On the bonus side of things Jessica Biel is mighty hot, however her chemistry with Nic Cage is non-existent.

Pandorum
Pandorum(2009)
½

Claustrophobic and creepy Pandorum evokes the best parts of movies like Alien and strangely Das Boot playing with the irony that is the confinement of space travel. I think that the emotion you'll have invested in this story will be reflected by how much you think humanity deserves to survive.

The Hitcher
The Hitcher(2007)
½

Doesn't quite have the zing of the original even though Sean Bean was a good choice for the Hitcher.

9
9(2009)
½

Visually stunning, this movie could have been great but it doesn't really have any story power. The story isn't horrible it just isn't anything we haven't seen before a lot of stuff about runaway technology and soul over intellect it's not very surprising or original. Still it could have been fantastic and what is on the screen is still pretty good it just didn't blow me away.

Jennifer's Body

The problem with this movie is the same thing that was right with Diablo Cody's last movie, Juno, the pacing is slow and it lingers too long on trivialities that don't push the story forward. There are things to be admired there are parallels to the Heathers and Scream movies with satire and some flashes of humour and brilliance that could have pushed it to the next level but nothing really develops and the satire is mixed and watered down at best. Still if you are anything like the teenage boys two rows behind me there will be plenty for you to hoot and holler at as Megan Fox undresses time after time.

Gamer
Gamer(2009)

Again, good science fiction. There is no doubt that people are heading down this path and if the technology to play other people existed the extra thrill would pull people in and the current state of video games would suggest brutal violence and debauchery. The acting is pretty good in this movie too, especially from Michael C. Hall, who plays a twisted billionaire with flair. That being said the story isn't fantastic and a little too obvious especially the Deus Ex Machina ending as it seems unlikely there is anyway realistically out for the hero. Also the directors shake the camera around something fierce for all the action scenes, some have some real flair, but a lot of the scenes are kind of annoying.

District 9
District 9(2009)

This is really great science fiction, that of course doesn't make it really great cinema but it does make you think like sci-fi should.
On its most basic level its a parallel to apartheid in South Africa with the aliens playing the oppressed people. The aliens have become stranded over the city of Johannesburg and have been relocated to a ground based slum. The main character is a mid level paper pusher who thanks to the peter principle and marrying the boss's daughter has risen to be in charge of relocating the aliens to a brand new concentration style camp. The main character is the real point of the story he is a monster, someone who cheerfully does his job with no thought or remorse, happily caught in a haze of rules and accepted prejudices. His job entails murder, coercion and abuse but it's all for the "good" because there are laws and rules and the people with power have told him what to do. However, all this changes when he is exposed to something in the alien camp that makes him valuable to his employers and they are willing to kill him without mercy to get what they want. That's the real story the fact that humanity can justify any evil because someone up the line with "power" and "money" and whatever other imaginary concept our society has created to elevate one person over another has let it be known that it's for the common good.
Anyway, the movie is a little slow and the dialogue is poor at best though the action does pick up in the last act. Good thinking movie a so-so entertainment movie.

Dog Soldiers
Dog Soldiers(2002)

Pretty decent werewolf movie with some entertaining characters. Note to werewolf mass murderers leave heavily armed soldiers alone and stick to tourists it probably won't turn out so good for anyone.

Doctor Strange

Not the best of the Marvel animated fare and definitely not up to the DC quality of animated movies but it's not horrible in fact it's on the decent side of things. A little too dark for children but not so dark that you'll rush out and tell all your grown up friends about the movie.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
½

Perhaps the most anarchic movie I have ever seen, even for a comedy. This is not necessarily a bad thing as comedies shouldn't have to stick too hard to a structure but in this case it is fairly bad. There is no through line for the characters the story meanders and ultimately makes no sense and you never really get much feeling for the characters or the car lot they are trying to save. The big question though, "Is it funny?" Well sort of. There are a couple of funny moments mostly with the DJ and a sky diving sequence but in almost every other way although it tries really hard it barely elicited a chuckle from me. On the upside you'll recognize almost everyone in this movie, there is a lot of talent just not much of it is used.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
½

Actually pretty good. I went in not expecting much and came out pleasantly surprised. The story hangs together pretty well making it quite a lot better then Tranformers 2 and slightly better then Tranformers 1. There was a couple of changes from the core story a bit to the detriment of the story involving Scarlett and the Baroness but overall was fairly close to the right feel.
One more note (for the filmmakers (like any of them are reading this)) get rid of the lips on Snake Eyes costume, it's pretty ridiculous.

A Perfect Getaway

I may just have seen too many movies I had this one figured out by the time I saw the first commercial. This does not mean by any standards that it is a bad movie, just that I watch too many movies. The acting is pretty decent and it is fairly entertaining, just not all that surprising. Chris Hemsworth also has convinced me that he will make a fairly decent Thor as he cuts a pretty intimidating feature.

Orphan
Orphan(2009)

Pretty standard "enemy among us" horror movie in the Hand that rocks the Cradle tradition. The direction is a little uneven, there is some really good tension building atmospheric moments but the climax seemed a little rushed and uneven. The revelation in this movie though is Isabelle Fuhrman who as the focus of the movie is well worth the screen time, she is pretty intense.

Green Lantern: First Flight

DC is the animated superhero king they don't seem to be able to do much wrong. This is another great adaptation of one of their flagship properties.
A warning though there are 2 rather grotesque scenes which may make this unsuitable for children under 14.

Bon Cop, Bad Cop
½

This movie is at once distinctly Canadian and at the same time one of the most American things I have ever seen. The movie is about hockey, Ontario/Quebec relations and yet it is ultimately just a buddy cop shoot'em up. Lots of fun and in the grand American style makes almost no sense with lots of bullets car chases and explosions.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

The biggest problem with movies today is that writers think that if a person uses a swear word loudly and repeatedly enough this translates to being funny.
Does anyone actually talk the way Kevin Smith writes this movie? He uses swear words as nouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives...in every sentence! I started looking forward to prepositions like 'is' and 'to' just 'to' just to get a break from the swearing. Ah well there is a couple of funny moments in between the painful dialogue and both Rogen and Banks have genuine screen charisma though it is mostly wasted here as the comedy is pretty cheap.
We are well on our way to the scene in Idiocracy where the highest grossing film of the year is some guys butt on screen for 2 hours that occasionally passes gas. BTW Idiocracy is a good movie and appallingly far too accurate.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I really enjoyed this film, I thought the pacing and the direction was brilliant. It is a much darker and more mature film. Just the way the director makes Hogwarts feel so familiar and so by rote for the older kids in comparison to the first few films. The wonder is still going on around the teens but they are more wrapped up in dating and their own problems. It really feels like they are growing up.

Land of the Lost

I only vaguely have memories of this show from my childhood and I'm pretty sure I thought it was crap back then and I was pretty wee. Anyway, this isn't the show this is the movie adaptation of the show and it wasn't nearly as terrible as I thought. I think if you can stomach Mr. Ferrell's over the top style of comedy (and I seem to be able to) that this movie has some fun. Stupid fun but still fun.

The Proposal
The Proposal(2009)

Unlike most Rom-com movies that I have seen this has a lot more emphasis on the com then the rom. I mean the rom (and not the space knight) is there but I haven't laughed so much since... well I guess the Hangover. Anyway, good performances from all that are involved, especially Bullock. The one downside is that the relationship doesn't quite track but it is still in the realm of possibility.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
½

To understand the deep ric-BLAMMO!!!- of the Transformer universe-SHAKABOOOM!!-reference the cartoon fom the '8-BAYSPLOSION!!! 0's.
Having trouble following this rather nonsensical review? Well that's the movie. One explosion after another, plot holes you could fit Unicron into, overdone slow motion silliness and many, many lingering shots of Megan Fox (which is fine as well as it goes). It starts OK and after about the 10th overdone explosion I started to tune out. The humour was terrible and as they push it further and further it becomes worse and worse. The closest movie to this would be Bad Boys 2, if you liked that you might like this it is Baysplosionerriffic.

The Hangover
The Hangover(2009)
½

Hijinx abound in this movie where 4 guys go on a drunken rampage in Las Vegas lose one of their members but don't remember a thing.
Very funny although unlike the saying the amount of mayhem these guys cause I don't think they would be leaving Las Vegas anymore then what happened there would... at least for 5-10.

Push
Push(2009)

I swear to the gods this site is eating my reviews. I KNOW I wrote one for this but if I did it's gone...So. Hmmm what was memorable about this movie...Hmmm...I guess not much. I remember it wasn't bad. Yes definitely it was OK. Well I guess that's it then.

Drag Me to Hell

I've missed the Sam Raimi version of horror. I know the torture porn horror movie is the "hip"/ "happening" genre in terms of horror but I've never really adapted. I like the Sam Raimi ordinary guy/girl struggle to overcome adversity with the gross out liberally sprinkled with humour.
So when I saw that he was returning to his Evil Dead roots I was excited and I was not disappointed this is what a horror movie should be scary and yet ultimately entertaining.
Alison Lohman does a great job in terms of being the heroine of the story and I think by the end of the movie she was channeling Bruce Campbell a little bit in terms of her dialogue and the amount of damage she was absorbing (a cute Bruce Campbell though). The rest of the cast does a fine job as well.
The only thing I found a little offputting is the "twist" is a little obvious.

Music and Lyrics

No real surprises, Grant plays a charming narcissist and Barrymore plays a neurotic oddball and shockingly somehow they fall in love. Not exactly a stretch for either actor. Still its on the charming side of things and though full of fluff the music jokes especially the '80's video are pretty funny.

Failure to Launch

Cute little romcom with a fair amount of slapstick in it...and lots and lots of animal attacks. Big downside to it I could have spent the rest of my life quite happy not to have seen Terry Bradshaw naked and now I can never say that again.

Terminator Salvation
½

While not as good as the other 2 summer movies I have seen this summer, Star Trek and Wolverine, it is still pretty good. There is lots of action and the character of Marcus Wright is fairly interesting. The only drawbacks are the fact that Skynet is about as practical as a Bond villain and something about a heart...you'll see.
Anyway all in all not a bad movie much better then T3 if not as good as T1 or 2.

Star Trek
Star Trek(2009)
½

After 40 some years of different adaptations for me there is only one Trek. Next Gen had its moments, Deep Space Nine was generally pretty great but didn't go anywhere (pun intended), Voyager was fairly bad despite the eye candy and Enterprise didn't get off the ground as it was Next Gen redux though somehow earlier.
Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu these are the gods of the Trek verse for me and going into this I was highly skeptical that a reboot could be done that would not descend into stupidity.
I was wrong.
This movie balances respect for the characters, action adventure, big special effects and a whole new path for the crew of the Enterprise. The first thing that was done was they threw the whole history out and took away all the certainty that no doubt the by wrote Trek fans were clinging to.
Excellent movie.

Dragonball Evolution
½

The movie has moments that capture the fun and excitement of the cartoon but it just never takes off getting bogged down in a far too complicated and off putting story. Mr. Chow and Marsters are mostly wasted here this could have been so much more.

X-Men Origins - Wolverine

On par in terms of quality with the first X-men movie if not as good as the second and much better then the third. The movie is a lot of fun and and it has many of the cool characters from the Wolverine continuum that were cool to see especially Sabertooth and Deadpool.
I also liked how they tied the whole thing together to set up the X-men movies as well as answering questions from the movies like how the bullet in X2 actually penetrated his skull.
Worth seeing if you are a fan of the genre at all or just like action movies.

Serenity
Serenity(2005)
½

A fitting epitaph to a far too short lived series. Joss Whedon pulls out all the stops. Unfortunately for me he is far to fond of character death. Still a great movie.

The Adventures of Robin Hood
½

Classic swashbuckling. A true Hollywood masterpiece.

Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman(2009)

Another good animated production of DC title if only the WB were this competent with their live action stuff (barring DK and BB). A faithful if slightly modified version of the Wonder Woman story with plenty of action and violence.

Fanboys
Fanboys(2008)
½

Set in 1998 this movie is about a group of friends who decide to break in to the Star Wars ranch to watch a copy of the Phantom Menace 6 months before its release for one of their friends who is dying of cancer. Now, a lot of people will shake their heads and despair at people who would give so much for something imaginary like Star Wars. However consider this, everything we hold dear to us in this world everything we fight for and everything we die for is almost all something that is created in our heads, whether it be love or the value of money or gold or duty to some figure or country. Star Wars is not such a bad thing to hold dear enough to obsess over, so I understood it as much as I can understand any sort of fanatic behavior. That heavy stuff said, it was a fun movie mostly and for the most part the jokes worked for me. Also Kristen Bell in the Princess Leia costume was worth the price of admission.
Be warned however the geek levels are high you should have a fair sense of Star Wars and Star Trek to get many of the jokes.

Monsters vs. Aliens
½

Nice tribute to the monster movies of the late 50's and 60's. Good voice cast especially Colbert.

I Love You, Man
½

Funny movie about a universal problem that all people face as they grow up. How do you balance friends and relationships. Rudd plays a guy who is a relationship guy, he has no close friends other then his fiance and realizes he has no one to stand with him at his wedding. Desperate he starts casting out and trying to find someone to connect with but as he has no real friend experience his results are mostly disasterous until he meets Segel. Segel is a friend guy he has given his life over to hanging out with a gang of friends but all his friends have moved on and left him behind.
Rudd and Segel are both genuinely funny and charming and Rashida Jones is fantastic.

Role Models
Role Models(2008)

Pretty damn funny a little too much swearing especially from the kids but a nice little movie. The plot revolves around two self-obsessed losers one Scott trapped in perpetual skirt chasing adolescence and the other Rudd who is down on everything and everybody because he isn't where he wants to be in life. They get assigned to a youth outreach program to work off community service and in typical light comedy they learn something about themselves as well as helping out their young wards.
Long story short: funny and the final epic Live Action Role-Playing sequence was just cool.

Transporter 3

How can you not like Jason Statham he sells the action with such style and humour. Still I think this might be the weakest of the 3 movies and considering the silliness that composed a lot of the second movie that doesn't say much. The problem is that not much of interest happens, there are a couple of good action scenes a couple of good driving scenes and of course Statham selling it but it doesn't fly the way the others did. The love story is really predictable and felt kind of wrong, the eco plot and bad guy (Sorry to Robert Knepper who I think generally can portray screen menace, I didn't feel it) felt kind of forced and it just didn't go.

Punisher: War Zone
½

Let me preface my review with this: I was a huge fan of the first movie (OK technically Dolph Lundgren was the first Punisher and thank you very much about making me think about that piece of crap Mr. Technical...Yeeesh!) and thought Thomas Jane did a fantastic job.
That said I thought this was a better then average movie for a standard action shoot'em up. Ray Stevenson as The Punisher is gritty enough and though a tad whiny that is to be expected (Like the Tick said "Superheroes and guns don't mix Arthur!") but he gets the job done and sells the Avenging Angel of the streets thing. Dominic West does a better job as the aptly named Jigsaw and really sells the crazy.
The real star of the show is the action and Lexi Alexander sells that in buckets..you know for the blood. This is a very graphic and violent movie but ultimately well done.

The House Bunny

Revenge of the Nerds at a sorority house...Hmmm. Well while it probably was an easy sell for the producers to the movie company this movie struggles a bit to find its voice. The comedy is a little uneven, the relationship between Ferris and Collin Hanks is a bit of a hard sell and the turn around from the house girls as social misfits to fabulous centerfolds in training is very quick and uninspiring.
On the other hand I like Anna Ferris quite a lot she is very talented and funny and it is ultimately a very sweet movie with enough laughs to keep me entertained. So a pass.

Watchmen
Watchmen(2009)

A fairly faithful adaptation of the graphic novel in fact I'd go so far as to say it is better then the graphic novel as it cuts through a lot of the crap that bogged the story down, with that in mind better then being a comic book adaptation it is just a good movie.
However, for the uninitiated this is not a movie for kids or a lighthearted superhero romp. There is sex, graphic death, blood galore and a lot of blue pipe. Don't be the guy who brings his five year old like the guy sitting behind me.
The acting is pretty decent all the way through the cast but Rorschach played by Jackie Earl Haley steals the show. Props to Zack Snyder for casting relative unknowns in his films instead of big names so it didn't become a vanity piece for some overpaid actor. As a side note to all other action directors take a page out of Mr. Snyders book this (excepting a little bit of the overuse of slo-mo but I guess that is a signature) is how action should be shot, you should be able to make out what is happening. Enough with the jerky epileptic cuts!!!!

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
½

This parody hits all the notes of the music biography movie. IF you have ever seen one and how can you not have whether Elvis or Tupac you know this genre is ripe for parody and this movie kind of delivers. The music is goodand there are lots of cameos but where it falls down is the pacing, there just aren't enough jokes. Still mostly funny and I am giving it an extra half star because Jenna Fischer was just unbelievably hot.

Inkheart
Inkheart(2009)

Needless to say I am a sucker for fantasy movies (see my profile, 1 quiz, etc, etc) This movie was meant for me, an ability to bring things out of books and put things in to books what could be more fantastic? Fantastic it is and fun too and family friendly. It had the reminiscent feel of Labyrinth to me just without the puppets (and not just because of the Jennifer Connelly cameo). However that said, remembe,r I am fantasy crazy.

The Spiderwick Chronicles
½

When I was a kid I would have loved this movie and while I can still appreciate it in a inner child way I fear I am too old to be grabbed by a kiddie movie.
Sucks getting old.

Ghost Town
Ghost Town(2008)

The movie is humourous and touching and ultimately predictable....though there is a moment near the end where everything gets thrown out of the window and I was pretty shocked, then I got better. Good acting.

Underworld: The Rise of the Lycans

Fun little movie. I actually thought it was better then the first Underworld though not as good as the second. The story is well crafted and gives a lot of depth to the werewolf characters that was missing in the first one. Lots of action but again done in the modern jerk the camera around fashion that is all the rage in movies now.
I love the fact that in all the movies about the middle ages there are always things like automatic arbalests that if they existed would preclude the invention of guns.

Max Payne
Max Payne(2008)
½

Despite the name of this movie you will escape this movie with less then a full amount of pain, in fact it will probably just make numb and just the teeniest bit bored.
I imagine the pitch for this movie went something like this : Movie exec 1:"OK we take this video game name, tie it to the oldest and hoariest action plot we can find and then to try to be pretentious by throwing in extraneous special effects that mean nothing and characters that lead to nowhere."
Movie exec 2: "Brilliant Jenkins! (ME1 is somebody named Jenkins BTW for some reason) You'll be head of Warner Brothers someday running good comic movie ideas into the ground!"
Anyway long story short: Boring, predictable and badly acted (((Sorry Beau Bridges)watch out for a"stellar" 1 minute performance by Nelly Furtado as a dead cops wife) not that she's dead but the cop is dead...ah you'll see...or don't that would be better)

Jumper
Jumper(2008)

Half decent little action movie with plenty of cool special effects. The thing I liked best about this one is that they didn't tie the whole thing up in a little bow for the audience, no definite "happy ending", no final comeuppance for the villains. This of course might drive everyone who needs these stale conventions a little nuts.
A good movie though not worth dislocating my knee for (I did that going to see it last February).

Burn After Reading

Yet another funny, yet somehow blood soaked movie from the Coen brothers. Perhaps I had the wrong read on No Country For Old Men maybe I should have been laughing instead of wincing. Either way I laughed in this one both at the craziness that is American national security and the not so subtle poke at the average American citizen to start taking responsibility for their own country.

RocknRolla
RocknRolla(2008)
½

While not as tight a narrative as Lock, Stock or Snatch there is still plenty of entertainment in this movie. Criminal hijinx abound.

Quantum of Solace
½

This, needless to say, is a pretty good movie, not as good as the first but still good. Two things kind of bugged me about this one. First off the theme song kind of sucked the worst one since Madonna gave it a try. Second the action is shot by an epileptic there are several scenes where you really need to strain to keep track of what exactly what is going on. Despite this there is a lot of action and it is pretty quality for the most part.

Imitation of Life
½

Super-melodramatic movie that is designed to pull on your heartstrings. Jaunita Moore's performance and her relationship with her daughter steals the show.

Soul Survivors

Kind of a Jacobs Ladder what is really real kind of movie. A car accident and then a lot of surreal jumping around that is supposed to generate terror but mostly just inspires motion sickness and a sinking feeling that Dushku is going to keep her clothes on for the whole thing. However she does get into a shower with the star Sagemiller so it's not a total waste...unless you aren't into her....and then it probably is a total waste.

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People
½

The movie almost works, it's just that Simon Pegg who is always really funny is made out to be such a pratt that it is hard to feel for him and thus the comedy is somewhat muted. Plus it kind of descends into rom-com hell.

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane
½

Well acted creepy little piece of film. Sheen is does his intense psycho schtick and Foster does grown up the way only kids who grow up in Hollywood seem to go at 14.
Entertaining but not for the faint of emotion or those thinking this would be a good substitute for Home Alone.

Religulous
Religulous(2008)
½

Very, very funny movie. Maher sheds some light on some of the craziness that exists in the religions of the world, especially the double standards they hold themselves to "Do as I say not as I do". The only problem comes with the last 5 minutes where Maher who has been preaching the "sermon of doubt" through the movie draws some rather concrete and I hate to say it, Biblical conclusions.
Still I think this movie should be watched if only because questions it raises should be thought about by anyone who truly has faith.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
½

Why oh why, you may be asking yourself would someone over the age of 20 go and see this film? Well as it happens I was bored. Not an unusual state for me over the past year or so but being bored on a Saturday night means you should do something and so I did, sort of, by seeing the only movie I could make it to and had any flicker of interest in seeing.(that flicker being Michael Cera, Arrested Development was great)
Well my boredom didn't quite get alleviated but it didn't get any worse either so all in all I consider it to be a victory.
The movie? It was OK, a lot of ironic slacker types having disjointed conversations, a couple of funny moments most of them having to do with the drunk friend and a piece of gum. The writing was a little uneven and it doesn't really go anywhere romance wise but I give it a marginal pass.

Heathers
Heathers(1988)
½

The ultimate black comedy. This movie almost borders on the tragic or would if it wasn't so bloody ironically true, no matter what horror happens to teenagers parents are willing to write it off as something a teenager would do to themselves. The priest pushes Jesus, the Hippie teacher pushes emotionality, the TV cameras are always present to capture the students "candid" emotions and the school faculty debates how much time off the death of each student warrants. The students themselves, they show emotion for the death and attribute depth and feeling to the dead that they really didn't deserve but underneath it all any weakness is just something to be attacked like a school of sharks. Don't speak ill of the dead but it's OK to try to drive others to wish they were dead.
I haven't watched this film since about the time it came out and excepting the hair it holds up really well even better then I remembered.

Sukiyaki Western Django
½

Perhaps the most unusual movie I have ever seen. A western with definite Japanese sensibilities, it is shot entirely with the actors speaking in English but I am not sure they even understand what they are saying, it also has English subtitles to bridge that gap. The plot is all over the place and while it makes little sense it takes a backseat to the quirky and somewhat insane characters. There is a sheriff that seems to be channeling Gollum from LoTR, there is a gang boss who thinks he is Henry the Fifth and seems to have the power to survive things by falling into a catatonic state. There is a lone gunman who seems to think he and his horse are in the Matrix and a native of some sort (they say Anasazi) whose cultural contribution is playing trumpet on a hill and on top of all this Quentin Terrantino shows up in a fairly weird cameo to be the one person who speaks Japanese in the film.
Anyway there is a lot of film fanboy moments from Fistfull of Dollars to the Killer to Yojimbo (with a different ending) to the Quick and the Dead, it is at least worth a look if only to say you have seen everything.

Dark Water
Dark Water(2005)

Fairly depressing but atmospherically creepy.

A Scanner Darkly

While the animation overlay can be a little distracting there is no doubt this movie has something to say about the nature of drug use and societies response to the problem.
I have something to say too: if you need to take drugs try to take care of your mind. Nothing is more yours and more important then your sanity.

Princess of Thieves
½

Poor Prince John! Sure he was a douche bag but he was Royalty that was his job. All people in power are generally douche bags they have to be to get into power. Richard was a douche..OK that expression is making me sick...a jerk, so was Henry (their father) even a casual examination of the records of the time will confirm this supposition. So to invent some fictional son of Richard (hard to do as he liked war against his relatives and the comradere of men) to supplant King John just seems like another huge slap in the face. Let's face it his tyranny turned out for the best it lead to the Magna Carta which lead to all the great charters of rights and constitutions that so many people enjoy today in many different countries (usually by discarding it when ever they can). Don't get me wrong I love the Robin Hood universe I just appreciate a little more parity in the villainy of the ruling class as opposed to the mythical good King saving the day.
....oh the movie..(shrug)...it's OK. Knightley does alright, Mcdowell is always good and it is generally pretty silly and lightweight without actually adding anything of value to the Robin Hood mythos.
Stick to Errol Flynn for fun or Robin of Sherwood (TV series) as the definitive stories told on celluloid.

50 First Dates

I was kind of skeptical if the tragedy of serious brain injury could be turned into a Rom-Com. The movie covers the romance off quite well, it is undeniable that the kind of devotion displayed by Sandler's character to get someone to fall in love with them everyday is the soul of romance. Sandler and Barrymore also have undeniable chemistry as was displayed in the Wedding Singer.
Where this movie falls down is the comedy, it is thin at best and at worst distasteful.
Still good for the hearts and flowers crowd.

War of the Worlds

Spielberg doesn't quite manage to translate this story successfully and while the effects are quite impressive overall the movie falls pretty flat.

Trinity
Trinity(2001)

Moves very slow and is pretty confusing but has some intense acting.

Collateral
Collateral(2004)

Excellent acting from Jaime Foxx (how can this be the same guy who dressed up as Wanda in In Living Colo(u)r) and Tom Cruise raise this up from what it is a relatively silly action movie. Stupid ending.

Hamlet 2
Hamlet 2(2008)

So bloody hilarious!
Perhaps not as jokey-joke funny as Tropic Thunder but I think I liked this more. The message is simple, everyone wants to say something to make sense of the confusion that is our lives, even if you have only marginal talent. That is art. Ironically the people who protest art are also trying to say something but they don't have the gumtion to try and express it in any way but by shouting. In the end as in this movie some people if they think about what is being said may, just may, figure out most of the offense that they are shouting about is in their head.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

The animation is pretty good, in that the action looks almost flawless.
On the otherhand the story is kiddie dumbed down and one of the Hutt characters is voiced by Droopy Dog. Also the fluctuating laws of Lucas's universe are starting to confuse me, wasn't the reason 10-year Anakin was turned down as a Padawan because he is too old? Why did the story revolve around a 13-year old girl trying to prove she is old enough to be a Padawan? Anyway not terrible not great plus half a point for being Star Wars.

Treed Murray
Treed Murray(2001)

As so often happens with Canadian movies it is a metaphor social commentary drama, where a yuppie ad executive is treed by a gang of muggers and a battle of wits ensues.
Interesting but doesn't really go anywhere.

Death Race
Death Race(2008)
½

A ton of action and some pretty good acting. The ending is a little cliche but if you want to go for a fun ride this is probably the movie for you.

The Rocker
The Rocker(2008)

While the first half is much stronger then the cliche ridden second half it is overall a quirky and funny movie.
Be warned Rainn Wilson lets it hang all out.

Tropic Thunder

Funniest movie I've seen in the theaters this year. So far at least.
Be warned this is not politically correct in any way (as a comedy should be) so if you are very sensitive this is probably not for you.

Below
Below(2002)
½

Truly a tense and enjoyable thriller. Subs are creepy and tense places to start out add a life and death duel with a German sub killer and a haunting it ratchets it right up.

Pineapple Express

It's OK.
A few laughs are scattered here and there, funnier on a I guess you would say cosmic level. A lot of irony in terms of the background characters flies around. It relies alot on the strength of it's actors, Franco does a good job Rogen manages to play Rogen. In fact one of the big problems is that many of the most talented and funniest actors have almost no story like Gary Cole, Bobby Lee and Rosie Perez. Plus it is very anti- drug...funny right?

Stargate: Continuum

This movie does not disappoint even with the time travel.
It kept me guessing.
If you like the show even a little bit this is a must see.

Swing Vote
Swing Vote(2008)

Wow an incredibly (because of my low expectations going into it) good attempt at a type of Mr.Smith Goes to Washington themed movie. It at once shows the silliness of the political system but also has a great hope about it that the system still works. Well acted and very funny.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
½

Well this movie is just fun. Big action, big special effects and lots of sight gags. OK it isn't Shakespeare and there are gaps in the plot but that doesn't ruin the fact that it is fun.
Little things that caught my attention: Maria Bello is all but unrecognizable with brown hair, does a fair job(no pun intended...probably), but needs to work on her accent a little. Jet Li may be a main star but doesn't have much screen time (unless he is also doing the animation acting). Michelle Yeoh also doesn't have a lot of time on screen which is a shame (yum).

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2)
½

Some might criticize this film for not jumping back in to all the alien hysteria that had been built up in the shows backstory but seriously that was quite a while ago and who can remember exactly. What the writers did instead was to concentrate on the thing that made the X-Files popular (Not aliens or black ooze or even shadowy smoking men) the relationship between Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Sure there is the typical X-Files creepiness and a psychic and the ultimate plan of the bad guys needs to be seen to be believed but in the end it is all about the characters. If you loved the X-Files and more to the point Mulder and Scully you should see this movie.
A fitting end to a great series.

Step Brothers
½

Ok in many ways I understand this is a very stupid movie; 40 year olds acting like they were 10 but damnit it made me laugh and in the end isn't that what a comedy should do.
I think there might be a moral about how screwed up and disfunctional everyone is and how the best way to deal with it is to revel in it instead of hiding it behind being grown up, but I think it is mostly about genitals on drum sets.

The Dark Knight

Wow. The most intense movie ever, a cross between Heat and the new James Bond but still true to it's comic roots. The acting is excellent all the way down the line but Heath Ledger is simply unbelievable. Wow!

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Hellboy 2)

A lot of fun. Perhaps not as good as the first one but there are several great scenes and fight sequences. I liked the faery story.

Justice League: The New Frontier

The best comic to motion picture movie I have seen. Good art, good story and the voice work is spot on.

Batman Gotham Knight

So cool! 6 different anime directors give their take on the Bat and it is just....so cool. Hmmm I need to think of a new word. They have by far the best voice for the Bat that I have ever heard Kevin Conroy. The only thing I might of liked more is if there had of been a little more of the established Batman badguys but....so COOL!

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas
½

A shame this movie came and went without fanfare. The first movie had an A-list cast and had a lot of push to it but this movie is in every way superior. It is a lot more faithful to the show a better story and the actors have a lot more fun with their parts. Good soundtrack too.

Solaris
Solaris(2002)

I can't give a full rating for this as I drifted in and out of paying attention to it because frankly I was bored. Perhaps I will watch it again if I run out of other stuff to do in my life.

The Andromeda Strain

Not terrible for a TV adaptation a little rough here and there and wildly divergent from the book and earlier movie. A bit of a political statement about how little you can trust people in power and their foresight because their lust for power and greed blind them, why else are they in power.

Hancock
Hancock(2008)
½

While it isn't the best superhero/comic book inspired movie of this year it isn't the worst either. No I lie it is the worst so far but in a year where superhero movies have been so good there is no shame in that failing. It is still a very good movie.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

I could give a damn about evolution or intelligent design except as a bit of sophist shouting material it makes very little difference in mine or anyone else's existence. What I don't care for is paying for a movie that both doesn't inform me or entertain me. Stein goes on a Michael Moore ambush junket with all the zeal but none of the fun. He blasts evolution (and some how compares the theory to the Nazi's- fastest way to lose any debate in my book), he presents "experts" who poke holes but don't offer any alternatives except the phrase "intelligent design" like it was the be all end all explanation. Well great, Thor or the Faeries or Yaweh or Aliens are screwing with us ultimately so Stein can make a movie and I can be bored to tears. I mean at least I can see the point of Evolution theory it has lead to many discoveries in biology and genetics, whether it is wrong or not. What does intelligent design bring to the table can we catch the faeries that have created us or turn the tables on god and use him to power some windmills. That's the question Stein and everyone else in this movie sidesteps there is no apparent benefit to the intelligent design argument. Give me something people.
If there had of been a balanced argument I could have seen this movie being this dry but with the poorly plotted arguments and the zany sinister camera lighting on the Evolution side you'd think they would have at least tried to make it more entertaining. There truly is no intelligence.

Dark Rising
Dark Rising(2007)

OK this is not a great movie it has a $1.50for a budget and some of the plot is nonsensical (if they had of just cut the experimental stuff out they would have been OK) but...the movie has a sense of humour about itself, the actors do a fair job and they stretch the budget as far as it could possibly go. Not the Evil Dead reborn but a fair go at it.

Stargate: The Ark of Truth
½

Brings the whole Ori plot to a satisfying conclusion. I'm not sure that this movie is for everyone you probably should at least have watched some of the series over the last few years but maybe not as they do a fair job of filling in the gaps. Not bad action and the characters are always entertaining.

Wanted
Wanted(2008)
½

First off, if you are one of the people who goes to a movie and can't accept that people are going to be doing things that don't conform to reality (like the people sitting behind me) this is not the film for you. This movie is directed by the genius who made Daywatch and Nightwatch and much like those films people do some incredible things and there is a very cursory explanation as to why, if you need more explanation skip this film and go emerse yourself in the realism of Wall-E.
The visuals in this movie and the action scenes are stunning better then anything I've seen since the Matrix and maybe including the Matrix. Only 2 things keep me from giving this a 5: 1) There is too much swearing, I find that is often a sign of lazy writing, but it is used a couple of times to good effect. 2)Angellina's nudity shouldn't be more brief then a scene where a bullet is passing through someones head (of course that's just me).
Good movie.

Last Exit
Last Exit(2006)
½

This movie has the feel of a "Blood on the Road" police educational movie. It has all the elements of tragedy mapped out as you can see the personal habits and quirks of the two women that will eventually lead to disaster. It is so true though people let their little problems fester and come out in their driving (not that there is anything little about the bad days these 2 women have) and they forget that ultimately cars are 2000lb killing machines that do very little to protect their users.
Again overly sad Canadian faire. I would normally only give this one a 3 but Kathleen Robertson is such a good actress and so hot I would watch her read the phonebook.

Yor, the Hunter from the Future
½

One of the worst movies imaginable. I watched this in the theater as a kid. Why you ask? I was fantasy crazy and this was one of the best examples out there. Not to sound like an old fogey (though I am) but I don't think the kids know how lucky they are in terms of genre films and TV being made. I also in retrospect feel very sorry for my parents whom I dragged to things like this.
Sure it is lame acting, lame dialogue(though that could just be the transition from Itallian) , lame action, lame special effects, heckit doesn't even rate fun for camp value (that's lame lameness people) but it is a slice of '80's B- movie history. One day in the far future I picture a bespectacled professor teaching a University course using this movie pointing out to the variously stunned and bored kids what used to pass for entertainment in the elder days. Oh the Humanities!

The Love Guru

This is a very silly movie. There is a lot of toilet humour and penis jokes...I mean a lot. It doesn't really raise up above that and there is very little plot to speak of, in other words a Mike Myers movie. If you have liked his work in the past something in this will probably appeal to you.
2 things rapidly jumped out at me as being impossible: 1) the Maple Leafs making it to a Stanley Cup final on the power of 1 player. I doubt it could happen if all the gods from all the pantheons were lining the Leafs bench. 2)That Leaf fans would hate an owner that looked like Jessica Alba. My roommate is as hardcore a Leaf fan as I have ever seen and I am pretty sure he would burn the Stanley Cup if Jessica Alba winked at him. Still despite the lack of thought it has some laughs. You could make a case that Myers is slamming the quick fix silliness of self-help experts but I wouldn't try to read that much into this film, plus it has a ton of fun cameos.

Lost and Delirious

OK sure this can be slotted in to the Sex and Snowshoes camp of Canadian film-making but it is a pretty decent effort all around and there is some excellent acting. Like all Canadian films it runs to the tragic and the melodrama so make sure to bring some happy pills. You will also recognize several faces here before their careers hit.

Get Smart
Get Smart(2008)

The original Get Smart TV show was a parody of the sixties and their ridiculous obsession with all things spy. The show hung on the portrayal of Smart by Don Adams and the portrayal of the world of spies as being absurd and surreal (which if you think about it spying is). Well much of the parody is gone in this movie adaptation (perhaps wisely so) and instead the comedy relies mainly on slapstick and what parody there is makes fun of the idiots and institutions that run the US. While Carell isn't as strong on screen as Don Adams he brings his own screen charisma and the rest of the cast is pitch perfect.
I laughed almost all the way through.

The Whole Ten Yards

As funny and fresh as The Whole Nine Yards was the Whole Ten Yards does that with stale and stilted. If you have seen the first movie avoid this one like the plague it doesn't add anything only takes away.

Toys
Toys(1992)

Kinda silly and you have to have a lot of tolerance for Robin Williams schtick but it has its moments and LLCool J and Joan Cusack to a fair job.

Cocoon
Cocoon(1985)
½

Something about the elderly finding a new lease on life that I find appealing...HEY I'M NOT THAT OLD STOP SNICKERING!

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
½

MAd Max meets his greatest enemy commercial success. One good idea goes in, none comes out.

Flash Gordon
Flash Gordon(1980)
½

OK I am a sucker for this type of camp, so be warned if you are using my rating as a guide.

U.S. Marshals

Poor follow up to the much better Fugitive.

Dune
Dune(1984)

Overlong and very boring because of this movie I can't make it all the way through the book.

The Transformers - The Movie
½

Poor and confusing attempt to cash in on the TV cartoon success. To anyone that followed the cartoon it is especially disappointing.

The Rocketeer

Has a lot of promise and some fun parts but if you could avoid the really stupid last 30 minutes you'd be ahead of the game.

Dick Tracy
Dick Tracy(1990)

Stylistically interesting, horribly boring and terribly acted (even Al Paccino)

Batman: The Movie

A must see! It is so camp and funny that it is a unique movie going experience. It is so true some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

Red Dawn
Red Dawn(1984)
½

Silly Cold War fantasy where a football team beats the Russian and Cuban(??????) armies invading America. Still C.Thomas Howell screaming "Wolverines!" and firing his machine gun hopelessly at a chopper is a pretty iconic scene.

WarGames (War Games)
½

The obvious commentary on the cold war and M.A.D. (look it up kids).

The X-Files - Fight the Future
½

TV generally doesn't transition well to movie format (Hollywood take note) but this one is entertaining all the way through.

Stephen King's Rose Red
½

TV seems to be where Stephen King is adapted best.

The Money Pit

A dream house beats Shelly Long and Tom Hanks into the ground...if only it had happened before Mazes and Monsters and Troop Beverly Hills.

Overboard
Overboard(1987)

Hmmm Kurt and Goldie seem to have some chemistry.....weird.

The Last Starfighter

There was so much I loved about this movie when I was a kid but even back then I thought it was stupid that they needed to have a specially trained pilot go up and defeat all the bad guys by pressing a single button.

Rudy
Rudy(1993)

Sports cliche movie that spawns a lot of sports cliche movies a Hollywood cliche. Cliche like the use of the word cliche in this review.

Ocean's Twelve
½

A waste of time. It's like the cast said in unison "Script! We don't need no stinking script! We're the Ocean's cast" Skip 2 3 is passable but if you can just watch one.

The Incredible Hulk
½

The golden age of the geek continues. This movie is....while I hesitate to say incredible, I will say very damn good. Marvel with control of its own movie properties has developed not just one but 2 movies (along with Ironman) that could contend for the title of best comic book movie ever. Not only are they good comic movies and good spectacle movies they are just good damn movies. The acting is good, the story and drama move along and there is plenty of action. For the comic book geeks there are plenty of references to catch in this movie and they even throw in a few from the 80's TV show. Plus the set-up for the proposed Avengers movie continues.

Best in Show
Best in Show(2000)
½

The Spinal Tap guys are back and once again doing their mocumentary thing this time about people at dog shows.

The Craft
The Craft(1996)

Cute girls playing with forces beyond their means of control. What could go wrong? Well it goes mostly right.

Carrie
Carrie(1976)

The movie that launched the need to make every single Stephen King book into a movie.

Christine
Christine(1983)

A boy and his car wreak a little havoc. Not too bad.

Alien3
Alien3(1992)

Aliens continues this time on a prison planet where very little of interest happens. Take that both ways.

A Bug's Life
A Bug's Life(1998)

Quite good, I enjoyed it quite a bit more then the concurrent Antz.

Hellraiser
Hellraiser(1987)
½

If you like horror movies this one is OK.

Psycho
Psycho(1998)
½

OK sure it's a shot by shot ripoff of the original but it still seems to have lost a lot. Just watch the original.

Speed
Speed(1994)

Stupid movie but fun.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
½

the movies are getting darker but are staying up in quality and cleaving to the books. I applaud Ms Rowlings ability to keep the Warner Bros. boneheads out of her creation if only movie execs treated more source material with such reverence.
Gary Oldman is a great addition too.

The Ex
The Ex(2007)
½

Jason Bateman is the only reason to see this film. When he is on screen there is something funny happening. Zach Braff and the usually excellent Amanda Peet (OK I may just be giving her marks for looks here) seem kinda dead and unlikable on screen here.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs(2007)
½

Empty of thought or content really it is still able to pull of the job of entertaining. Well me at least.

Clerks II
Clerks II(2006)

I didn't really care for the first Clerks. This one was good. One question though: What the Hell is wrong with Kevin Smith?

Air Force One

Harrison Ford does his thang as the President fighting terrorists who have taken over his plane. By the numbers nothing innovative.

Vanilla Sky
Vanilla Sky(2001)

Overlong movie about reality. Seriously that is the sum total of the plot "reality".

Bedazzled
Bedazzled(2000)
½

Stick to the original the only thing to recommend this one is Liz Hurley dressing up in the sexy outfits. Seriously the original is much funnier and somehow more relevant.

TMNT
TMNT(2007)

While without the edge of the comic book or the fun and personality of the cartoon the movie still has some moments that show why young genetically altered reptiles trained in martial arts is such an enduring concept.

The Monster Squad

Common what's not great about kids fighting the classic movie monsters.

What About Bob?

Bill Murray holds this one together. Without his charm it kinda falls apart.

The Goonies
The Goonies(1985)

A classic adventure tale when Speilberg was still in touch with his inner kid.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood(1994)

The worst B director in Hollywood history has somehow made a story about him with A list budget and cast kinda lame.

Pee-wee's Big Adventure
½

You either love Pee-Wee Herman or you didn't get the interest in this character at all. I was one of the latter, still Tim Burton makes this one watchable.

Benny & Joon
Benny & Joon(1993)
½

Johnny Depp turns in the quirky performance that will make him a staple of Hollywood for years to come.

Megaforce
Megaforce(1982)
½

Classic cheese, like Julius Caesar's face imprinted on a block of cheddar, sure its not going to be a dignified high point in history but it's something unique to see.

Pump Up the Volume

A way for kids to look back and go, "HuH! My parents were all angsty and rebellious too." Eventually a call to be taken up by the grandkids.

Event Horizon

Somewhat silly sci-fi concept where a spaceships warp drive is actually a portal to hell. Explains the recent Star Trek movies.

Rocky III
Rocky III(1982)
½

Rocky is back at it this time facing off against Mr.T. On a side note this is the start of the WWE tie ins with bothHulk Hogan appearing in the movie as Thunderlips and Mr.T appearing at Wrestlemania.

The Last Unicorn
½

One of the better fantasy book adaptations....I mean when compared to....There is not a lot is there? Still not a bad cartoon.

An American Werewolf in London
½

Bleak and bloody werewolf movie. As it should be.

Reservoir Dogs
½

Heist movie that launched Q.T's career. Some moments of unbelievable cool and others of just passable entertainment.

Dragnet
Dragnet(1987)

The virgin Connie Swayles may not approve of all of this movie but a fun little spoof of the uptight FBI propaganda that was the original Dragnet TV show.

Zatôichi (The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi)
½

Sword action comes fast and furious with a fun little twist at the end.

Cool Hand Luke

What we got here is a failure to communicate...This is a good movie....no we're OK.

House (Ding Dong, You're Dead)
½

Quirky movie about a magic house that brings a bit of horror into a writers life.

Darkman
Darkman(1990)
½

The superhero movie Sam Raimi made because he couldn't make Spider-Man. How times have changed.

The Running Man

Richard Dawson as a game show host? Never happen!

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight
½

Best of the Tales from the Crypt movies. Reminiscent of Dusk to Dawn. Billy Zane puts in a fair performance as a demon who has developed a sense of ironic cool.

Stir of Echoes

Ghost movie trying to cash in on the Sixth Sense phenomena, not as good but not bad either.

To Die For
To Die For(1995)

Nicole Kidman plays it dark in this black comedy about middling ambition and the lengths stupid grasping people will go to acheive them.

Kiss of the Dragon

Jet Li puts in a decent performance as a Chinese agent fighting corruption in the Frenc Police force while taking care of Brigitte Fonda the prostitute. Watch out for the accupuncture.

Bachelor Party

Tom Hanks in a sex comedy? Yup not to be watched before or after Philadelphia.

Eraser
Eraser(1996)

Schwarzy does what he does best blows things up and delivers one liners while doing it.

The Dead Zone
½

Christopher Walken puts on one of his best performances a fairly bloody Stephen King adaptation as you would expect from David Cronenberg.

Major League
Major League(1989)

Sports cliches fly fast and furious in this by the formula movie about losers finding their team spirit.

Jackie Chan's First Strike
½

Jackie Chan is magic on screen, he is almost always doing something to keep your attention.

The Revenge of the Pink Panther
½

Burt Kwok gets a bit more screen time in this movie and as he is one of the best things in this series of movies I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Dick
Dick(1999)
½

Funny political satire of one of the most charged eras of American history.

You Only Live Twice

My favourite Sean Connery bond film if only for the fake volcano and the ridiculous idea that Sean Connery could ever look Japanese.
OK it's better then I make it sound.

Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
½

Sure the movie is a little off the mark but the story is irresistible and Jason Scott Lee is magnetic in the biopic of the greatest martial arts legend of all time.

Undercover Blues
½

Come on! You'd mess with a guy pretentious enough to call himself El Muerte wouldn't you?

Diamonds Are Forever
½

Tiffany Case and Plenty O'Toole, how come I never meet any girls with names like these.

Top Secret!
Top Secret!(1984)
½

Funny movie in the style of the Naked Gun films. Perhaps a little dated with early '80's references.

Muppets From Space
½

You can't go wrong with the Muppets and especially Gonzo the Great.

District B13 (Banlieue 13)
½

More action then you can shake a stick at and that is because they are too busy darting all over buildings. Crazy cool.

Slap Shot
Slap Shot(1977)
½

The greatest all time movie about hockey ever made, plus very funny.

The Big Hit
The Big Hit(1998)
½

A lot of fun. LDP really shines in this one as a guy who backstabs his way through life so he can afford a boat to blow up dolphins.

Porky's
Porky's(1982)
½

The highest grossing Canadian film of all time. Who would guess lowest common denominator was the way to go.

Trading Places
½

My favourite Eddie Murphy movie. Plus naked Jamie Lee Curtis!

The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Okay this is a little dumb but so funny at the same time. It is so great to see the that even the full resources of the world is unable to touch Clouseau.

National Lampoon's European Vacation

The Griswolds the ultimate in American ignorance bring their chaos across the pond and wreak havoc on the Europeans. Generally fun but some of the jokes repeat a little from the other Lampoons.

Superman
Superman(2005)
½

Not as enthralling as B:TAS or the following Justice League but still a fun version of the Superman legend.

The Pink Panther
½

Early version of the Sellers Clouseau character, which is not quite there yet. Niven is the focus and the charm in this one.

Shaolin Soccer

Soccer and mystical kung fu war mixes surprisingly well in this uproarious comedy.

Lat sau san taam (Hard-Boiled)
½

Action! Action! Action! Bullets and bodies flying everywhere and exploding hospitals! What more can you ask for?

Mr. Saturday Night

Fluctuates between actually interesting and self-indulgently dull. However, a mostly interesting and mostly dramatic look at comedy and what drives people to make a career out of that craziness.The movie has a strong supporting cast, especially David Paymer as the long suffering brother/agent. Crystal gets by.

The Poseidon Adventure

Typical disaster movie with some intense (bordering on manic) performances, especially Hackman and Borgnine.

The Snow Walker
½

I liked it, it is perhaps a little predictable once the setup is established but it has a nice feel. It makes you think about man and his relationship to the wild, yes humanity has conquered nature (for now) and when prepared and organized there is very little we as a group can't accomplish. However, there are places (or were places in this case as the story takes place in the 50's) where if you are isolated you have to go back to an earlier time and rely less on gadgets and more on your wits.
A shame I haven't seen Ms. Piugattuk in more movies she has good screen charisma in this her first role.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
½

The weakest of the Indiana Jones movies (until the Crystal Skull), but still fun.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
½

The weakest of the Indy franchise, but still it's Indy so that is a step above the rest. It has got some great action and some groan inspiring action but at least the action rarely stops.
The latest and (probably) last of the Indy movies is a tribute to 50's B cinema with references to aliens, Marlon Brando-esque bikers, hot rodding teenagers, Tarzan (in perhaps the most irritating sequence), nuclear bombs and of course America's biggest obsession at the time Commies. Not that the USSR isn't doing anything the Americans wouldn't do if they had of put it together (or any other government/military) but they are on the opposite side of Indy so are the bad guys.
On a related note Cate Blanchett has the hardest time with an accent I've seen since Kevin Costner tried to be English in Robin Hood or James Cromwell tried to be Irish in LA Confidential but still filled the role of menacing Indy antagonist nicely.
Also if you have any fears about Indy's relationship with the Shia LaBeouf character well they come true but the character is less irritating then he could have been, so excelsior Steve and George.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The story continues, though unlike the TLTWATW I barely remember this book, though I am sure I read it as many times. Perhaps my lack of memory is why I enjoyed this movie more, it has more action, more drama and more spectacle. Thoroughly enjoyable.

What Happens in Vegas

This movie fell out of the cliche tree and hit every branch on the way down. One person is uptight one is out of control, one's a neat freak one's a slob, they hate each other but are perfect for one another, their friends give them endless supplies of bad advice etc, etc. You've seen this movie. What it comes down to is do you like Ashton and Cameron, if you do it's alright (I do) if you don't avoid it like the plague (unless you think watching this with your girlfriend might get you out of the really horrible looking Sex in the City movie, then by all means)

Speed Racer
Speed Racer(2008)

To say this is a colourful movie is like saying King Kong is big for a monkey. Seriously it's like (forgive my crudeness) someone stuck dynamite up Rainbo-Brite's butt and blew her up all the hell over the screen (anyone remember Rainbo-Brite?). Still some of the visual assault the Wachowski's launch on the audience works and is quite beautiful but most of it is garish and distracting.
The acting except for Hirsch isn't too bad, even Steven Colbert's nemesis Rain puts in a decent appearance. Hirsch on the other hand could pretty much be played by a mannequin but perhaps he is just trying to stay true to the cartoon.
The movie is a pass just for the spectacle they put on and how fatally true they stay to a bad '60's cartoon.

Rounders
Rounders(1998)

I am really non-committal on this one. It's got lots of intense acting and you know the script is supposed to be an attempt to win an award because the dialogue has more swearing then actual English. However, the tension of the story never really rises above mediocre and while poker itself can be fascinating to watch that magic is never really captured on screen.
It's alright.

War, Inc.
War, Inc.(2008)

John Cusack reprises his role from Grosse Point Blank (which I love, though of course it isn't the same character just really reminiscent of it) as an assassin looking for a moral center to his life sent into a war zone to protect the interests of his corporate masters by offing Omar Sharriff (not the actor). However, he runs into complications in the form of a driven reporter whom he finds fascinating for her disdain of him and all that he stands for and a pop star being used to sell the war to the people ( a surprisingly hot Hilary Duff who manages to prove she has talent beyond that of her popstar peers).
The movie goes on to skewer war in general and the Iraq war in specific and the profiteers behind the scenes. Still let's face it every war is about making someone rich it's just only in Iraq that the trend has become surreal and ridiculous.

DOA: Dead or Alive

The proposed movie formula for this movie works like this cute chicks (I apologize)+skimpy outfits +kung fu =awesome. What it actually equals is mostly lame.

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
½

The second best Batman movie ever made. Good action and great pathos with one of the most layered stories you will see in a superhero film.

Tommy
Tommy(1975)
½

Ok people in the know tell me that Pink Floyd's the wall is the movie that'll just freak you out if you watch it on acid. This movie kind of freaks me out and I've never done acid in my life. Really cosmically trippy and so hard to watch and not smirk. Still, great music and Ann-Margaret swimming in alphagetti or something. Brilliant!

Iron Man
Iron Man(2008)
½

My second favourite comic book movie of all time. The acting is excellent all the way around especially from Robert Downey Jr.. Thumbs up to director Favreau the movie has a great pace, has lots of action and comedy and doesn't try (as is the Hollywood norm) to destroy the character built in the comic. However, the best thing for me was the action sequences which were shot so you could actually see what was happening on screen. I don't know when it was decided that an action sequence to be good had to be shot by epileptics in mid seizure (see Transformers, Bourne, etc, etc) but I wish the idiot who decided it would quit the business and stop giving me a headache.
Make sure you watch through the end of the credits because there is such an awesome surprise at the end. (well for comic fans anyway)

Run Fatboy Run

There is a lot wrong with this movie. It is in essence the the Americanization/sitcominization (not a word I know but it should be) of the quirky British comedy movie like The Full Monty and Brassed Off. Where it goes wrong is its obvious American sitcom gags, the obvious jerkwad boyfriend stereotype. Where it goes right is Simon Pegg, the British comedy cameos(David Williams and Stephan Merchant) and the the emotional climax of the run.
Still this movie will either work for you or won't work at all. It worked for me...barely.

My Boss's Daughter

This is a very silly movie with lots of unbelievable set-ups and jumps in story logic. However, it is a comedy and it is pretty funny for what it is, they do it joke a minute style so many of them miss but quite a few hit for me. Decent.

Grindhouse
Grindhouse(2007)

Awful. Planet Terror was so disapointing. But at least there is Death Proo...no it sucks too. The only good thing in the whole bloody (literally and figuratively) thing was the mini-movie by the Shaun of the Dead guys in the middle. Find it on the internet or something, don't waste your time.

Bewitched
Bewitched(2005)

Wow.
Richie Rich was a better adaptation then this stinker, heck even the Beverly Hillbillies seems more classy. Wil Ferrel reaches a new low in comedy beating his previous record for me which was Kicking and Screaming. The plot is nonsensical and even the usually excellent Nicole Kidman seems hopelessly lost.
Wretched.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This is a very funny movie. Tragedy is often the best source for comedy and a break-up is a pretty common and well understood tragedy. Plus, is there anything funnier then a guy sobbing his eyes out on the floor...well maybe but it still works. Good job by all in this film but especially the four leads of Segel, Bell, Kunis and Brand.

The Forbidden Kingdom
½

There is nothing original in this movie.
Wait! I am not slagging this movie. The movie is classic in every sense of the word, it combines elements of the story Journey to the West with the traditional heroes journey of summer movie blockbusters (at least since Star Wars). This is a tribute to Hong Kong cinema. While you will recognize elements of this movie if you have ever watched any martial arts movies or for that matter any action movies at all it is all so well done that you won't mind. Chan and Li masterfully play off their classic representations in film (Chan's Drunken Master rogue, Li's Once Upon a Time in China warrior philosopher) and as they are the best, deliver the goods. Add to that some blistering action Yuen Wo-Ping the best martial arts choreographer in the business today and you have a movie that is well worth the price of admission.

Rushmore
Rushmore(1998)

Quirky is the only way to describe this movie if you can wait your way through some of the silly melodrama it is quite pleasantly funny (though not laugh out loud funny).

City Slickers

Fun little middle-age crisis movie where "city slickers" get in touch with their country selves and prove to themselves that they are still men. The cute factor is amped up with a baby cow.

Inspector Gadget

Pretty bad but then look at the source material.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

How can you resist a movie that has the exchange "Put them in the iron maiden!" "Excellent!" Or a aerobics class conducted by Joan D'arc.

Thank You for Smoking

Pretty funny look at how politics works and how people should perhaps think about the issues instead of just listening to the windbags who are "experts".

Romeo + Juliet

Some things in this movie work, some don't. The updating of the play and the guns and gangsters conceit for the most part doesn't work. The acting isn't too bad especially Leguizamo. Not the best R&J adaptation I've seen but it is still Shakespeare.

Taxi Driver
Taxi Driver(1976)
½

You can't fault this movie for its acting and the subject matter is certainly interesting, it just didn't suck me in but it isn't bad.

Three Men and a Baby (3 Men and a Baby)
½

I am going to take a stand more controversial then my dislike of Apocalypse Now or the Godfather... I liked it it was pretty good.

The Godfather, Part II

I wasn't enthralled with the first one and this did nothing to win me back. I just don't find gangsters to be that interesting.

Armageddon
Armageddon(1998)
½

Something works in this movie...I'm just not absolutely sure what those things are, its not the bad story, it isn't the acting or the soundtrack...I'm stumped. It should be the worst movie I've ever seen but it just isn't for some reason beyond my ken. It's bad though don't get me wrong.

The Pink Panther

If there is anything to laugh at in this absolute horror show of a travesty it is that there are no words to describe how bad it is and yet I'm still going to try. Nothing works, the comedy is flat, the performances are incredibly bad and the story has no pacing or interest. Considering the level of talent of the actors something should work but somehow nothing does....Wait! Perhaps it's like somekind of trippy metaphor Inspector Clouseau is a bumbling idiot but everything works out despite of his idiocy, this movie is exactly the opposite. Nah, it just sucks.

The Blair Witch Project

Perhaps the greatest scam ever perpetrated by the film industry... ever! With no plot, very little acting or sense, apparently no script to work with and with worse camera work then you could see in most You Tube home made videos this movie pulled the public into the theaters in droves. Worse yet people in what can only be assumed is an attempt not to appear foolish started proclaiming to anyone that would listen that it was scary and ...good? The "Emperor's new clothes" law of scam artistry at work. If you want further examples of this kind of sheep mentality check out the world of high art.
Only one positive came out of the whole thing: My sister made me go to this on my birthday even though I didn't want to and the camera work made her so nauseous she had to leave the theater. How is that for instant karma!
Just kidding, love you sis!

Employee of the Month

This movie sucks. Jessica Rabbit...uh I mean Jessica Simpson can't act and would be better served by Kim Catralls stand-in in the movie Mannequin (Yes I mean the dummy) but she shines next to the likes of Dane Cook and Dax Sheppard.
What the hell man? Who green lit this thing and on what corner of LA is he currently washing passing motor vehicles' windshields?

Cabin Fever
Cabin Fever(2002)
½

Say, worried about getting sick and nauseous? Stay away from this bore.

13 Ghosts
13 Ghosts(1960)

Wow! So camp and in a way better then the remake. Still check out those hokey effects.

What Lies Beneath
½

There isn't too much of interest in this film despite Michelle Pfeiffer and Harison Ford.

Junior
Junior(1994)

It works if just because the idea of Arnold pregnant is so ridiculous that it just has to work. Like steel flying machines.

Lethal Weapon 4
½

The only thing worth watching in this film is Jet Li and he is so good in it that it almost works. Everyone else is in a Oceans Eleven/Cannonball Run coma where everyone feels like they showed up for the cameo acting.

Jeepers Creepers
½

Some parts of this movie are quite well done where it falls down is the stupid concept for the creature and as more and more is revealed you'll care less and less.

Chicago
Chicago(2002)
½

The music is decent as are some of the performances but I don't care for musicals in general and it didn't really catch my imagination.

The Grudge
The Grudge(2004)
½

I quite liked this movie the creepiest of the Japanese horror movies remakes. Better even then the Ring.

Eyes Wide Shut

Ha! Ha! HA! Ha! Ha! HA!
Sooooo bad!

Contact
Contact(1997)

There are parts in this movie that are quite brilliant and I was convinced while watching it that I loved this film but the ending just kills the overall experience. Just retarded.
My advice walk out of the theater as soon as Jodie Foster uses the machine and don't look back.

Stephen King's It
½

Ok as a TV mini-series but as a movie to buy or rent I don't know that I would spend the money.

Honey
Honey(2003)
½

To be fair I could only watch half of this movie before I changed the channel but the half I saw was pretty bad. The occasional tuning back in was no treat either. Jessica Alba is either a very bad actor or she has no ability to pick scripts because she has yet to impress me as someone who can even attempt to carry a film. That is the big problem, she is supposed to be fascinating for all the other characters, people want her for her talent and etc. but she just doesn't show anything of interest.

Bulletproof Monk
½

Mr. Chow is magic, everything else in this horrid movie is just unbearable especially SWS who is just annoying. It is almost worth the world ending if it could have killed his character.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

It has some redeeming features and the music at some parts is pretty good. The camp factor gets to be quite trying though.

The Last Samurai

A good action flick though just a little silly. Then again name an action movie that isn't at least a little silly.

Thelma & Louise

A lot of build up for not much, not horrible just not good. Though the ending has inspired many good comedy parodies.

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
½

Every rose has it's thorn, just like every night has it's dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song, every rose has it's thorn. Memorize those words sinners and you too can get into Heaven. I can't help it I love the movie series though perhaps this isn't as good as the "Excellent Adventure".

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
½

I love the Dokken song for this one. Otherwise ehh..

Fast Times At Ridgemont High
½

There are some classic moments in this film. There are some classic characters in this film. The acting in this film is overall above the standard of the teen comedies of the time. It just doesn't work overall as a film. As a drama it kind of drags and doesn't connect and as a comedy it isn't that great. It felt to me like an extended version of an episode of the TV show Fame.
Still there are some really great moments.

I Know What You Did Last Summer
½

Typical of the slasher pictures that followed Scream although there were a couple of parts I really liked such as the Beauty Queen pageant killing where SMG wins the crown through acting by watching her boyfriend get butchered.

The Animal
The Animal(2001)

Rob Schneider is the..."Stapler". Other then the South Park skit this movie helped to generate it's not funny, not funny, not funny, n....unless you might find the idea of beastiality funny 'cuz there was this part.... No? Not funny.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks

I really liked this movie when I was a kid. It really would be cool if your bed could take you anywhere in the world. I think this is a major precursor for Harry Potter.

Guess Who
Guess Who(2005)
½

This should have been truly horrible but I just liked all the characters. The actors brought a lot of charisma to their parts and for the most part it was just funny.

While You Were Sleeping

Its a cute little movie where Sandra Bullock pretends her way into a relationship with her fake fiancee's brother. It sounds stupid and OK it kind of is but it also works, at least for me.

Natural Born Killers

This is the Madonna school of film making. Try to be as shocking as possible and to say as much as scattershot and as broadly as you possibly can and hope you can hit something relevant and interesting to say. Didn't happen either for this movie or for Madonna.
It is impossible to care for any of the characters and after awhile of their rather tedious (but admittedly violent) antics you kind of hope that Oliver Stone had a giant sandworm swallow the cast. Perhaps this whole thing is an exercise to make Dune look better. Mission Accomplished!
On a side note I saw this with my Dad and Sister (who also hated it) and while I kind of at first tried to defend it for what it was trying to say it was a stretch and then I realized I was just trying to find something to make up for this movies lack of entertainment. But keep in mind I tried.

A Few Good Men
½

Courtrooms are in general pretty damn boring. This is the movie that proves it with entirely implausible over the top acting that makes you wish for Ben Stein to come in a cameo and do roll call for the armed forces. Bueller...Bueller....Bueller

The Flintstones
½

Trouble is there is no way any live action production could touch the brilliance of the cartoon, whose magic is dependent upon the time and the creative talent that existed for that series. There have been updates and revisions and like this live action adaptations but the lightning is out of the jar.
Good casting though for the 2 leads of Barney and Fred everything else is just far enough off that it just doesn't feel right.

Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story
½

Family guy comedy is pretty much hit or miss like a coked out stand-up comic with A.D.D. who spouts random one-liners. It might just be the funniest thing you ever saw or he might just burst a blood vessel in his nose and bleed all over his shirt while the audience stares in horror. This one was pretty good.

Kindergarten Cop

OK Ahnold and little kids should be a complete disaster but it really isn't that bad. The first glimmering that Schwarzy is enough of an actor to get elected to office.

Back to the Future Part III

Not as good as the first one but better then the second one. It gets bonus points for the tribute to Fistfull of Dollars one of my favourite Westerns.

Spanish Judges

Crime movie with a lot of twists and intense acting, the only problem is (and I freely admit this is more my problem then the movies) I kept expecting a bigger twist at the end that the movie never provided. Still not bad in the Usual Suspects genre of films.

Buffalo Soldiers

Not much to recommend here. I often find movies of this sort confuse dramatic depth for characters being scumbags. There is nothing and no one to identify with here unless you are doing time for one of the many crimes perpetrated in this movie. I guess that is what these guys are saying the Army is like going voluntarily to a prison.

Superhero Movie
½

I am a big fan of the Naked Gun/ Airplane/Baseketball movies and this is the best of this genre of comedy picture since Baseketball. Frankly I had my doubts going into it but I laughed pretty much all the way through it. Some of the toilet humour gets a bit much but let's face it the superhero genre of movies does give a lot for anyone to lampoon.

Swimfan
Swimfan(2002)

There are several problems with this movie. First off why does the supposedly high school hero have a muzzle that would put Homer Simpson's to shame? Isn't this why they have make-up people? Secondly the story doesn't go anywhere. Thirdly the plot is paced so a snail would sleep and it takes forever to get anywhere. Fourthly it is a real struggle to have much sympathy for the protagonist because ultimately he is mostly a douche bag. Fifthly the ending where the two lovers proclaim their love while the "psycho" slowly drowns is creepy. Sixthly how come when people go crazy they develop super ninja abilities. Seventhly....this could go on forever lets just go to what works.
....uh....Shiri Appleby is really cute and I like seeing her on screen and mostly her parts work. Also Erika Christian's character has a little bit of interest to her. Perhaps if they spent more time showing us where she is coming from and less time on the "hero" this movie might have gone somewhere.
All the stars here belong to Shiri.

Cherry Falls
Cherry Falls(2000)
½

In a twist that no doubt looked better on paper it is the virgins who get it in this horror slasher in the Scream tradition. If only the movie had have been a little better crafted and the writing had of been a little less predictable. They use the "Kiss the Girls" formula for who the serial killer is: ie the actor you probably recognize who doesn't seem to be doing much.
I did like Brittany Murphy though, especially the way she would rabidly try to bite the killer.

High School Musical
½

Dr.Seuss does a musical. That is to say a starters musical for kindergartners. OK music, pretty cheese.

Loser
Loser(2000)

A statement both about the shallow cultural values our society gravitates towards and the shallow cultural statement that is college movies. The pot smoking, girl chasing good-time practical joking room-mates of the male protagonist who are the heroes of most college movies are rohypnol rapist douche bags.
For the girl heroine, she has hooked up with the wise older professor who is trying to show her a bigger world. One problem his bigger world is shallow,his intellectualism self-indulgent and he can't stop chasing every skirt that crosses his path.
Very clever and would rate a pretty good rating if it wasn't so poorly paced and ultimately predictable.

The Jacket
The Jacket(2005)
½

A quieter more pensive movie then you would think from the advertising for it, but still a story grabbed straight from the Twighlight Zone genre. A little more sad then spooky but still it sticks with you.
Two things: One-That is Daniel Craig!? Even thinking that looked so much like him I still couldn't believe it until I saw the credits. Two-Who shoots a movie in Quebec and Scotland? That is a weird paring of locations.

Eight Legged Freaks
½

The movie delivers just exactly what you expect, lots of people eaten by spiders. Senseless but not without its charms. The cute spider comedy noises get annoying after awhile but remarkably David Arquette tones it down a bit.

Day Watch
Day Watch(2007)

Incredible special effects and an epic storyline make for a great movie. Overall not as good as Nightwatch but still really good.

The Devil's Advocate
½

Lawyers are associated with the devil. This is about as clever and interesting as this movie gets, poor Al Paccino.

One Fine Day
One Fine Day(1996)
½

One of the more realistic romantic comedies where love happens as kind of a extra to life instead of an be all end all of life. Jobs, kids and soccer games all take precedence to the romance and it makes the romance that much more believable.

Comic Book Villains
½

Perhaps, it is because I have seen the quirky group of losers competitively chasing after the big score formula a few too many times or perhaps it is the insultingly afterschool special moral about comic books not being a substitute for real life but this movie didn't do enough for me. The performances by Lyonne, Rapaport and Logue are fantastic and Elwes is good although it doesn't seem like they had enough for the character to do. There are some really good bits but not enough to carry it through to being a good movie just a time waster.

The Number 23
½

I could give you at least let's say.....22 reasons not to see this movie.

Something More

Cute little romance movie about how confusing things can be between what the heart wants and what you need to be a better person. Not bad.

Cloverfield
Cloverfield(2008)

I hate the Blair Witch project it is because of that stupid movie that this movie mostly sucks as they might have done it properly if that movie hadn't of made any money.The camera work really bugs me and the drama and the ending come mainly from TBWP. So needless to say it is mostly predictable.
Where this movie exceeds that piece of crap is that it has some production values, the acting is pretty good for the most part and they bothered to write the dialogue so the characters come across as more favourable. So all and all it is OK but I wouldn't bother doing anything but renting it or waiting for it on TV.

Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight
½

I'm giving this movie a pass. I have waited for this movie since I was 14 because I loved this story and these characters. For the most part they stay true to that story so for that I gotta love it. Plus the voice talent is well chosen.
Where it falls down is the animation it looks for the most part to be animated like an '80's Saturday morning cartoon and personally I hate the mixture of traditional and computer animation. Choose one or the other, mixing looks like crap.
Still Dragonlance...COOL!

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

It's not horrible.
OK I know what you are thinking: way to sell a review, but really I thought this was going to be terrible going into it and well..it just wasn't. It wasn't great, it was just average. (note: if this is Law and you are reading this review this is not me suggesting you sell your house in order to finance Dungeon Siege 2).
The good: the acting is good they have some quality stars and even Burt Reynolds hits the mark most of the time. The action is alright there are a couple of sequences where it is great and some where it is just silly. I like the soundtrack at the end of the film.
The bad:there are so many characters and so much story that the director wants to tell it gets crowded and convoluted. Also they borrow a lot from LoTR both in the look of the bad guys, the army sequences and the background music.

Death Race 2000
½

This movie is pure cheese. Psychic cheese, fun cheese but cheese none the less. Still and all you'll find the parallels to what is happening to modern day America eerie...oh yeah and the hand-grenade is the best idea ever(you'll see).

Night Watch
Night Watch(2006)
½

Intense man. Just really... intense.

No Country for Old Men

This movie might have rated 4 stars except that the Coens resorted to the 3 cheapest directorial tricks from art films. Number one with-hold the fate of characters, this is forgivable. Second build to a story and a plot and then derail it entirely. Sure it throws the audience and yes it makes their point that violence and even life is senseless at times but it also makes for unsatisfying viewing and it is overkill, pardon the expression, the story they had written up to the last 30 minutes was making that point anyway. Third leave the audience with no definite ending or real resolution. Again, to shake the audience up, again, highly unsatisfying. All three of these tricks have been done to death by art house hacks, give us a break Coens and just make a movie.
So anyway because of this I was going to rate 2 maybe 2 and a half but they redeemed the movie by making a point that has been missing from all the "violence is senseless" genre of films. People (in this case the Sheriff) fool themselves into thinking that times are getting worse and people are getting worse, as the the old deputy pointed out it was there long before you were born. There have always been bad people out there.
Oh, Bardem does a great job of acting in this but the character isn't exactly original as I have seen the like in 100's of different pulp novels. The killer with a code.

Juno
Juno(2007)

A sunny movie that takes a serious subject (teen pregnancy) and instead of giving us the movie of the week cliches and retread weepy story-lines that would appear in a drama makes it relevant and real. All the characters are likable and the actors portraying them do a stellar job. Worth a look.

I Am Legend
I Am Legend(2007)
½

All 2 and a half stars of this rating comes from the first half of the movie. The second half of the movie is completely worthless but it had the possibility of being a 5. I think it was because Akiva Goldsman the worst Hollywood writer ever was involved. The co-writer must have written the first half which almost had me believing this could have been a great film.
The computer generated monsters were lame and should have been avoided.
Will Smith and the dog were great though.

The Golden Compass

A lot of fun with some good special effects and some decent storytelling.

Annie
Annie(1982)
½

Cute music, cute kids and a genuine feeling that the sun will come out tomorrow. You can't help but smile. Plus Carol Burnette is always good

The Omen
The Omen(1976)

I guess if you are scared by this kinda thing it's alright.

Kung Fu Hustle

So great! This movie combines comedy, martial arts and Warner Bros. cartoons to great effect.

Sister Act
Sister Act(1992)

Some laughs, but nothing special.

Bad Boys
Bad Boys(1995)

Man! Tea Leoni is smoking hot in this movie! Otherwise the cop action is a little formula but the chemistry between Smith and Lawrence is good. Pretty damn good for a formula shoot'em up. Don't watch the second one though.

Men in Black II
½

2-hours of commercial product placement and 10 minutes of plot. Still sometimes comercials can be fun.

Billy Madison

This is the movie that made Sandler, not too bad.

Waterworld
Waterworld(1995)

The beginning of the end for Costner.

Being John Malkovich

I kinda hated this it just didn't seem to go anywhere and I didn't connect with any of the characters. It also wasn't funny....hmmm but I'll give it points for trying something different.

The Stepford Wives

Kinda goofy and not nearly as good as the original but it passes the time.

Jaws 3
Jaws 3(1983)

This movie premmise ran out of steam half way through the first Jaws.

West Side Story

Dancing street gangs. What's not to like?

Fahrenheit 9/11
½

OK sure this movie has a pollitical slant, but it is impossible not to look at America and the way they have screwed up their country over the last 5 years and not see the many opportunities for revealing the corruption at its heart. Its hard to take a country seriously that with one side of your mouth condemns corruption and then with the other side defends the rights of its leaders to be corrupt and make a quick buck off things. Oh that's all countries? Yeah I guess so.

First Knight
First Knight(1995)
½

Never watch Richard Gere and Sean Connery in the same film. It's not a rule but it should be. The absolute worst KIng Arthur movie ever made. Seriously Trauma Films who made the movie Surf Nazis Must Die could have made a better film, Roger Corman who made Black Scorpion could have made a better movie. Sooo bad.

The Karate Kid
½

Sure there is lots wrong with this movie but...it's a classic!

13 Going on 30

It was pretty funny....of course Lawrence shouldn't be allowed to watch films like these.

Dumbo
Dumbo(1941)

Ever see the movie 1941 where the hard as nails Colonel was watching Dumbo being rocked by his mother?

Shark Tale
Shark Tale(2004)

Doesn't really have the charm of many other animated movies of this era but it's OK.

Fargo
Fargo(1996)

Soooooo dull! I know that is kind of what the Coens are going for but...ZZZZZZ

The Lake House

I think the person that cast this movie knew what they were doing. Bullock and Reeves have genuine screen chemistry that would make any movie work.

Ladder 49
Ladder 49(2004)

Nothing special.

Orange County

California is aparently a weird place to live and the people there like to write and make movies about it.

Layer Cake
Layer Cake(2005)
½

Fun little British criminal movie. I'm not big on mobster movies in general but the British just seem to do it better.

Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz(2007)
½

I love this movie. This is not just a great parody of American action films but also a great parody of the creepy British horror films of the '60's and '70's. Think the Wickerman and not the stupid Nic Cage one.

Rocky IV
Rocky IV(1985)

OK how could that Russian guy not break Rocky like so much kindling. Plus it has all that stupid American Cold War crap.

Daddy Day Care

This just didn't connect with me.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
½

This movie rates a pass from me for 2 reasons that will not make anyone reading this probably want to go out and see it. Sure the dialogue is bad, sure the acting is terrible, but...this movie went on to be one of my favourite TV shows ever and Rutger Hauer is in it, he's awesome.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
½

The comedy greats get together in an all out comic chase for a million dollars. One of my favourite movies. Look for a breif cameo from the Stooges as airport firemen.

Demolition Man
½

Wesley Snipes steals the show in this one.

The Butterfly Effect
½

I like Aston Kutcher's acting in this one. Yup I said it.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Cute premise and fun. Rick Moranis is always good.

Rat Race
Rat Race(2001)

I love this kind of movie. A pale immitation of A MAd, Mad, Mad World but still fun.

Beauty & the Beast
½

Disney recaptures its lost animation magic.

Alice in Wonderland

A classic tale of madness for young children. Beware the Jaberwock my son!

The Polar Express

The animation and the dry story left me nearly as cold as the North Pole in Winter. Fancy doesn't equal good.

The Wicker Man

Look I'm not saying we put Nic Cage in a gint wicker effigy and set fire to it to remove the curse of Hollywood's recent crop of films .....no I guess I am. Sorry Nic!

Catwoman
Catwoman(2004)

Destroys the character of Catwoman. Why-oh-why did they name her Patience Phillips and not Selina Kyle? A small thing sure but hints at the lack of respect the retards at Warner Bros. have for their DC characters. Anyway they have one bright guy there who suggested that Halle Berry running around half naked in a Cat suit will bring in a few suckers.....Worked on me.

To Kill A Mockingbird

Pretty good. Sometimes the older movies dialogue and acting rings a little false but this holds up fairly well.

Secret Window

Depp's acting holds this one together.

Tommy Boy
Tommy Boy(1995)

Chris Farley and David Spade work well together and its fairly charming though a touch dumb. But it is a comedy.

Anaconda
Anaconda(1997)

OOooo scary snake! Another example of Hollywood getting some new technology and showing it off with a half-brained idea. It's simple you lack-wit idiot suits get a good idea and then go "Hey perhaps we can use that new computer technology on this one."
Terrible acting, terrible premise.

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
½

The first movie was a surprise and was really fun, this movie a sequel was ....really fun and even more of a surprise. Thank the gods they didn't make a third my head would've fallen off.

Look Who's Talking, Too
½

Run away. Run away fast. IF you like Roseanne's voice coming at you for an hour and a half, you are probably late for your appointment with the Mistress of the Dungeon.

Godzilla
Godzilla(1998)

I miss the guy in the rubber suit after watching this.

Stick It
Stick It(2006)

Sometimes likable but parts of it including the setup are so nonsensical that you have to wonder if they had any script editing at all. Still passable.

Raising Arizona

The very best Coen brothers movie and the movie where Nic Cage is at his least irritating. One of the greatest chase scenes ever.

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

There is still no reason to make this movie.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

The Odessy with music. Fun though not the best Coen brothers movie, that would be Raising Arizona.

The Sound of Music

Fun for kids, my Mom hates this movie though and she loathes Julie Andrews. However if you can stand Julie Andrews it's not bad.

Lost in Space

OK the original show was dumb, trapped on the other side of the sun? But at least it was camp and Dr. Smith was funny. This keeps all the stupidity and none of the fun. Gary Oldman is definitely darker then Jonathan Harris's portayal and that is a bad thing.

The Little Rascals
½

Not nearly as good as the originals. Perhaps you can't go home again.

Joe Dirt
Joe Dirt(2001)
½

I guess this movie is supposed to be funny. I just found it to be tragic. There are a couple of laughs but not many. Watch Rikki Lake instead.

The Santa Clause

Not too bad, funny but not funny enough for ad nauseum sequels.

The Village
The Village(2004)

"What a tweest!" Seriously the only thing suprising in this one is that the script supervisor didn't point out that the movie doesn't go anywhere. Better then Signs.

Pay It Forward

The movie makers don't quite pay it forward with this dud. In fact if they wanted to improve their karma they should have warned audiences away.

Bring It On
Bring It On(2000)

Give me a "C". Give me an "R". Give me an "A". Give me a "P".

Ghost Ship
Ghost Ship(2002)
½

Not as good as the original but also not terrible. Typical horror movie.

Boys and Girls
½

As romance movies go this one wasn't too bad. It showed the maturing process of the characters before it was believable that they would get together. Not like in most of these films where it is obvious they will get together because the writers think it is a good idea. Like say When Harry Met Sally.

Look Who's Talking

Was kind of cute. Good family entertainment but don't go back for any sequels. Somebody thought Roseanne' s voice would make an interesting counterpoint to Bruce Willis's (shudder).

Space Jam
Space Jam(1996)
½

They tried to relaunch Looney Tunes with one of the dumbest premises ever. Typical WB executive thinking..wait was there a giant spider in there? There was! Somebody contact Kevin Smith and get that guys name.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape
½

If you like dramas this is for you. Slow and weepy. Me I didn't care for it despite the acting calibre.

The Skeleton Key

Not bad the movie builds up a lot of tension before it blows it all at the end.

Serendipity
Serendipity(2001)
½

Cute little romance flick, with the destiny hook. OK but predictable and could only happen in a movie.

Deep Impact
Deep Impact(1998)

The other asteroid movie. Didn't do as well as Bruce Willis's armageddon but then this movie was a little better. But then almost anything is better then Armageddon.

Twins
Twins(1988)

I really liked this movie. Scwarzy puts in a half decent performance and Danny Devito is a really good foil for him.

Coyote Ugly
Coyote Ugly(2000)
½

Oh wow. Girls dancing on a bar. One girl who dreams of dancing on a barwith those other girls. Lame. No really lame. No hyper lame. Screw it just remove the legs altogether.

Uptown Girls
Uptown Girls(2003)

It has a little more to it then you might think. Dakota Fanning is an eerily good actress and I just like Brittany Murphy.

Analyze This
Analyze This(1999)
½

A couple of laughs but it doesn't really go anywhere.

Entrapment
Entrapment(1999)
½

Wow this movie is so worth it to see CZJ slide under those lasers. Other then that not much else of interest.

Back to the Future Part II
½

The weakest of the series, it couldn't quite capture the magic of the first or the camp of the third. Plus I am still waiting for my hoverboard.

Baby's Day Out

Ok this is dumb but it is dumb in the way the Three Stooges are dumb. If you like slapstick and idiots getting brutalized by their own stupidity then it's not bad. If you are looking for plot and substance, read a book.

101 Dalmatians

A disney classic. What more is there to say.

Flightplan
Flightplan(2005)

I wanted to like this but the movie is fairly predictable and essentially pretty silly. Nice plane though.

Hollow Point
Hollow Point(1995)

I really loved this movie. Ok it didn't have the budget but it did have a lot of heart. Lithgow is good as the bad guy with a messianic complex and Sutherland is fun as the off kilter assassin.
Plus the romantic relationship between the two leads was great as the cross and double cross each other.

Blades of Glory

They try. They really do. Its just not really that funny.

Blue Streak
Blue Streak(1999)
½

Martin Lawrences best movie. Well of the few I've seen anyway.

Pleasantville
½

I love a lot of this movie. It gets a little preachy in parts but it's still alright.

My Girl
My Girl(1991)

Different from what you would expect.

Saw
Saw(2004)
½

This movie was good. Should have stopped at one. I guess I'm not really cut out for serial killing I'm more of a spree murderer.

Saturday Night Fever
½

Some good directing almost makes up for a lack of substance. If you like the Bee-gees you'll probably love this movie.

Field of Dreams

I am not a baseball fan so a lot of the mystique was lost on me but there are some decent performances and better yet no mailmen of water in sight.

Cast Away
Cast Away(2000)
½

It's OK. Some parts are really good, others go on for way too long. I did like the ending though.

Sleepless in Seattle

If only the Space Needle could have fallen on these two. That would have made it bearable. I like Joe vs. The Volcano better.

Top Gun
Top Gun(1986)

Mindless American tripe. There isn't even a Top Gun...ah whats the use. But on the otherhand it's kind of fun.

Ghost
Ghost(1990)

OK its hoaky but damnit it worked on me.

Accepted
Accepted(2006)

I like what the movie makers were trying to say about higher education that the best way to learn is to find out what interests you and to make it your own. Too often Universities and Colleges try to beat out curriosity and innovation for the strictures of tired accedemia.
However, there could have been a few more laughs. Cute but not great.

Deep Blue Sea

The best part was when Samuel L.Jackson is giving the speech...well see it for yourself. Otherwise nothing great here.

Arachnophobia
½

Normally horror movies have little to no effect on me. The blood drenched , member ripping that passes for entertainment all too often just makes me yawn. This movie is creepy and will make you jump no matter how you feel about spiders. (I personally love'em)

Young Frankenstein

By the way it's pronounced Frankensteen. And those were tremendous knockers by the way.

Casablanca
Casablanca(1942)
½

I wonder if Ilsa went on to change sides and become the She-Wolf of the SS.
A classic I can't wait to see if Ashton Kutcher does it justice in the remake. I kid...

Amadeus
Amadeus(1984)

Not bad. Not the hype. But not bad.

Napoleon Dynamite

This movie is an acquired taste. You will either love it or hate it. To make a liar out of me I just liked it, but then I got skills.

Halloween
Halloween(1978)
½

So everyone as, I vaguely and inaccurately remember it, turns to me and says in some kind of eerie union "Halloween is a classic you'll really love it!" Unnerved that the population of the entire planet is talking at me I swallow and go "Uh, Okay." Anyway the planet owes me two hours.
The lesson is kids don't give in to peer pressure even if it is all the people of the world and is creepy as all get out in a Village of the Damned sort of way.

Beowulf
Beowulf(2007)

This movie finally solves the problem dogging Hollywood: How do you make the new computer animation technology into something audiences will want to watch? You take a time tested story and you get a class writer like Neil Gaiman to spice it up. First you get the story then you use the tech, not the otherway around, like say Final Fantasy:Spirits Within.
This movie has excellent action, a good story and....good acting? Yup, good acting, I was really impressed at the abilities of the animators in making these characters come to life.
Worth a look in IMAX if you can see it.

Cool Runnings

I remeber that Olympics a lot of stuff went on. A good sports story and John Candy is always good.

Ghostbusters 2

They kind of take some of the fun out of the first movie by doing the same movie over again. However, the first one was so good there are worse movies to try to emmulate.

Full Metal Jacket

While not as good to me as Hamburger Hill, not bad for a Stanley Kubrick movie.

Scary Movie 2

Why can't there be more movies with Kathleen Robertson? Funny.

Meet Joe Black

Wow this is a long picture for the amount of content. I feared that I would be bored silly but the writing is decent and the performances are great.

Transporter 2

Some good action. Statham is always good but the story isn't quite up to the first one.

Turner and Hooch

Cute but a little cliche.

Domino
Domino(2005)

Doesn't go anywhere, why this was made baffles the hell out of me.

Scary Movie 3

Some laughs, just not a lot.

Free Willy
Free Willy(1993)

A boy and his whale. Up next a boy and his dinosaur. Oh they did that. A boy and his pet planet?

Ace Ventura - When Nature Calls
½

The first one had some laughs they solve that in this one.

Cinderella
Cinderella(1950)

Pretty good. Classic Disney. Comic relief mice.

The Waterboy
The Waterboy(1998)

Sandler puts together a likable comedy with lots of quirky fun background characters.

Elektra
Elektra(2005)

Terrible. Boring. Perhaps only Elektra's Daddy could like this one. Thanks Mr.Freud.

Broken Arrow
Broken Arrow(1996)

Oh John Woo....I wish, how I wish that China hadn't of taken over Hong KOng so you wouldn't have to go to America to duck the communist leaders that you had been criticising for so long. Not as good as his Hong Kong stuff or his later Face/Off but not terrible either.

Excalibur
Excalibur(1981)
½

Of the King Arthur stuff it is probably the best except the Singing Sword.

Dragonheart
Dragonheart(1996)

As a fantasy movie it is pretty good for the genre and has some decent special effects. Still as a movie just average.

Hidalgo
Hidalgo(2004)

Sweeping cinematorgaphy makes up for any story defects.

Star Wars: Empire of Dreams

An interesting look behind the scenes of one of the greatest movie trillogies of all time.

Matilda
Matilda(1996)
½

It was a little slow and perhaps I was a little old for it when I watched it to truly appreciate it.

Lucky Number Slevin

Pretty obvious I kept waiting for the twist that would make it a great movie but it never came. Still it is alright.

Dogma
Dogma(1999)
½

IT had some moments but fell short of good.

Drop Dead Fred
½

Not a great debut for Mayall and pretty much the last time I saw Cates.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Beautifully shot. Still very slow.

Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins(1964)

The classic children's movie is in fact a classic for all ages. A great movie.

The Ring Two
The Ring Two(2005)

Soooooo bad. Makes me wish that watching the video could have made me die seven days before.

Dr. Strangelove Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

A lesson for not just the Cold War but present day society. Fear will be the end of us all. Oh and Peter Sellers is funny...sometimes...don't forget that message too.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
½

This movie tries to examine the nature of humanity as made by our memories both good and bad. However, it is slow and dull, no real memories generated from this one.

Double Jeopardy
½

The only double jeopardy in this one is the chance that the audience may die of stupidity poisoning.

Doom
Doom(2005)
½

Not great but I was expecting worse.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The best of the Disney cartoons.

Scary Movie 4

Better then the 3rd one.

Catch Me If You Can

I liked the Flash aliases.

Fracture
Fracture(2007)

Damn good acting and the plot wasn't bad either. Personally my enjoyment was a little reduced because I figured out how Hopkin's character did it early. I also didn't buy the ending. Still not bad.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

Freddy continues killing. If you have seen the 1st one you've seen this one.

Bend It Like Beckham

I wasn't interested when I heard about this movie. British women struggling to be allowed to play soccer? This couldn't be further from anything in my own life. Plus sports movies are death to start with. However, I was pleasantly surprised this a great movie that just happens to have sports included. PArminder Nagra and Keira Knightly are great.

The Lost World - Jurassic Park

Bad movies will find a way to procreate.

Jungle 2 Jungle

Not really very interesting and the ending is just short of ridiculous. These fish out of water stories are done to death.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
½

I'm so sick of these movies. There is no imagination to these blood soaked slasher picks and definitely no horror.

The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe (TV SHOW)

The TV show doesn't have all the fancy special effects of the movie but it is a classic story and it is adapted faithfully.

Cats & Dogs
Cats & Dogs(2001)
½

A cute premise that really gets stretched out too far. Plus I am a cat person. OK for kids.

Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle
½

Note to criminals out there if you successfully get away with one crime and it comes offf better then you could have hoped don't go back for seconds.

American Beauty
½

Wow I don't think I could have been less interested in these characters.

Finding Neverland
½

Good acting and an interesting story. Perhaps not a story that bears too much actual historical examination though. Trust me.

Bride of Chucky

The first of these Chucky movies I actually liked. Jenifer Tilly rocks!

Hook
Hook(1991)

Ugh what a terrible story Steven Speilberg not content with destroying the childhood icons he created (ET) makes a shot at JM Barries'. Growing up is alright because you have kids? Way to kill the fantasy!

Enemy of the State
½

A sign of things to come big brother is watching you and then making predictable action movies to keep you kind of entertained when he wants to sleep.

AVP - Alien Vs. Predator

I liked this movie more then any Alien movie but less then the first Predator I think the Aliens water the Predator down.

Crocodile Dundee II

I really loved the first movie. Unfortunately the studios didn't know what to do with Paul Hogan because he wasn't young enough to be a bankable breakout star plus a "foreigner" but he was thanks to the first movie a hot property. So they revisited the movie and here's the twist they did it in reverse the Outbackman comes away from the city he's started to adapt to and goes back to the outback.
It was OK if formulaic.

Batman Forever
½

While better then the following Batman and Robin this movie wasn't great. Some of the things the director attempted (say not having Batman kill people willy-nilly and showing Bruce Wayne as more physically capable then just his suit) was a step up from Tim Burton. Others like the use of neon were just terrible. My advice skip the Batman of the 80's and 90's and just go straight to Nolan's Batman Begins.

King Arthur
King Arthur(2004)
½

Terrible representation of the history of the era with the ridiculous naming of the Celts in the area as the "Woads". Why go to all the trouble of looking up some obscure group in the steppes around the Caucasus and not researchat all about the country you are basing the movie on. The plot also doesn't really go anywhere but there is some action and Keira Knightly is wearing very little so I give it a pass just.

Stand by Me
Stand by Me(1986)

A great movie with a great cast. This made Rob Reiner a great director like North made him an average director again.

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

I love that skit in South Park "Rob Schneider is the Stapler!". Note to Adam Sandler making Rob into different things like girls, Animals or gigalos is not the key to comedic sucess.
That said there are a couple of laughs.

The Green Mile
½

This movie attempts to capture the lightning from King's other prison story/movie The Shawshank Redemption. IT doesn't succeed but it doesn't completely fail either. A good performance from Michael Clarke Duncan.

RV
RV(2006)
½

Just a time waster. Some funny gags and some good slapstick with very little plot.

Practical Magic
½

The plot doesn't really go anywhere and perhaps it doesn't have to. Some good performances keep it moving with Sandra B. and Nicole K. having some decent chemistry. Though the romance and the constant jabs at men get a little tiring.

Girl, Interrupted

Self indulgent as a term takes on a whole new level in this hokey girl power yawn.

Jack
Jack(1996)

Ugh so cutesy. You feel for the kid, you feel for the parents but you can't really like the movie.

Jingle All the Way
½

Arnold S. mugs like a madman in this Holiday comedy movie. High on slapstick low on plot and character. A time waster at best.

The Terminal
The Terminal(2004)

This movie is on autopilot a little. Tom Hanks is charming and keeps the movie flowing but it has little in the way of surprises in a David vs the Goliath of bereaucracy cliche. CZJ could have had a little more of a part.

Backdraft
Backdraft(1991)

Some good moments of firefighting and some good acting pulls anotherwise average to poor script up to a decent veiwing experience. Kurt Russel is always good.

40 Days and 40 Nights

By the book romantic comedy, perhaps a little racierthen usual fair.

The Mask
The Mask(1994)
½

One of my favourite Superhero movies. In my top ten anyway, though a terrible adaptation of the comic book.

Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story

I think this movie could have been really good if it was a little longer. It seemed like they introduced a lot of stories that they just didn't bother following up. What was the deal with the pirate? How come they didn't follow up with Stephan Roots characters marrital problems?
Anyway despite the script and editing problems it is worth a chuckle.

The Fast and the Furious

I think this movie is pretty dumb and car chases have been done to death.

Miss Congeniality

Ok this movie isn't as bad as you might think it is, Sandra Bullock pulls off the comedy quite nicely. The pagent stuff is dumb and probably off the mark but it is still fun. Plus anything that has Michael Caine and William Shatner acting together is worth a look.

The Lion King

Typical Disney if you like their cartoons you'll like this.

Wild Wild West
½

I thought it could have been a lot worse. I repeat Lawrence "IT WAS JUST ALRIGHT!"

The Boondock Saints
½

I only saw this on TV so I don't know if perhaps the non-TV version was a little more gritty but I didn't see anything that I hadn't seen in this genre before.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid

C'mon! Seriously! Giant baby attacks?

American Wedding

I thinkthat if this movie could have concentrated on anyone other the Stiffler this would have been a much better movie. As it was it was pretty good for the third movie in a francise.

Beverly Hills Ninja

Displays Chris Farley's physical comedic talents nicely and Robin Shou gets to steal a lot of scenes as a competent ninja weighed down by Farley's bumbling.

Jaws 2
Jaws 2(1978)
½

I liked Jaws but this sequel just didn't have the same bite.

Half Baked
Half Baked(1998)
½

Pot makes you stupid. Pot makes a stupid movie. It has a few laughs though and Chappelle is almost always funny.

Hocus Pocus
Hocus Pocus(1993)
½

Good movie for kids at Halloween but with limited appeal otherwise.

The Truman Show
½

Jim Carrey can act who knew. Pretty good movie that relates to this obseession that people seem to have for filming real life and putting it on TV.

Thirteen Ghosts (13 Ghosts)

I remember this movie being marketed as a Shannon Elizabeth movie and really she is in it for very little. Mostly it is a Tony Shalhoub film and that is good because he is a pretty decent actor. However, there is very little acting going on in this special effects driven horror flick.
OK but not great.

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

Burton revisits his NIghtmare before Christmas movie by making another one in the same style. Not quite as good but still entertaining.

Scream 3
Scream 3(2000)
½

The first one was good, the second one was alright the third one was passable to bad. I wish they thad made the 4th one because it would have been pretty horrendous.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

It has been a while since I have seen this movie. Probably since I was a kid, however I do remember I enjoyed it. It has music, a flying car, Benny Hill and Dick Van Dyke. You can't really do wrong if you want something to watch for the kids.

Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered Country

The 3rd best Star Trek movie of all time.
My sister would make a lousy helmsman for Captain Sulu (inside joke).

Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home

The second best Star Trek movie. Not as serious as some of the others but lots of fun. Would have been very different if Eddie Murphy had of played the whale expert like planned.

A Christmas Story

Perhaps the greatest Christmas story ever told. I know that if I ever got the Red Ryder bebe gun I also would probably shoot my eye out with it and I don't wear glasses. Good family entertainment.

She's All That
½

Not terrible not great. Gave Not Another Teen Movie a lot of good moments.

Anger Management

Kind of drags way past the point where the concept is still funny....wait maybe I don't like Adam Sandler afterall.

Scooby-Doo
Scooby-Doo(2002)
½

So much fun! It brought me right back to when I used to watch this cartoon as a kid.
I wish though they had kept the scene with Linda Cardellini in a bikini. Woo-woo!

Knight's Tale
½

Just a fun ride! A sports movie from the middle ages. Sure there is no accuracy at all but it is hard not to like.

28 Days
28 Days(2000)

Never having a drug or alcohol addiction kind of left me out of this a little but I am sure it played to the Hollywood crowd. I like Bullock and I like Tudyk, so worth a look I think.

Hollow Man
Hollow Man(2000)

There just wasn't enough transition in this one where we got to see Kevin Bacon unraveling as an invisible person. Plus it kind of ends up as a traditional slasher flick. "Oh-no he's coming to get us!... I think...maybe."
It entertains.

Dante's Peak
Dante's Peak(1997)
½

Man makes you wonder how Jor-El of Krypton felt.

Angels in the Outfield

I am not a huge fan of this kind of movie.

Johnny English

I thought it was funny but humour is such a subjective thing. If you like Rowan Atkinson this is worth a look.

Father of the Bride

Man I like KImberly Williams!
Steve Martin is alright too.

Stuart Little

It's a nice story for kids.

Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider(2007)

I was worried about this one. It had the feel of a bomb before I went to see it. However, it was pretty good. There are a couple of plot holes and the end could have used a little work especially the whole point of the Sam Elliott cowboy ride at the end but pretty entertaining none the less.

Little Nicky
Little Nicky(2000)
½

Well something in this movie came from Satan I think it was the lack of entertainment.

Addams Family Values

A follow up to the original but a little funnier with Joan Cusack stealing a lot of the best scenes as someone who probably belongs in the family more then some of the other Addams. Tough to be an in-law.
The sleepaway camp bits were also good.
One down note. The Addams have a new baby. I hate the Hollywood tradition of bringing new kids in to ramp up the cute. I am looking at you Superman Returns and Mask of Zorro.

Identity
Identity(2003)

This movie could have been something much more interesting then it was, I mean they took the 10 little Indians plot and then made all the characters fictional. I would have prefered making me care about the characters more not less.

Friday the 13th
½

The one that started it all: '80's cheese horror sequels that spun into the double digits. Didn't super care for it but I am not a horror fan.

Click
Click(2006)
½

Totally uninteresting and practically humourless. Perhaps it does have a good message though, appreciate your life.

The Shining
The Shining(1980)
½

Way overhyped. Kubrick butchers Kings story and makes a horror movie that would eventually be outshined by a made for TV movie. Still not the worst horror movie ever made.

Cry-Baby
Cry-Baby(1990)
½

John Waters love for camp doesn't quite entertain in this '50's movie throwback.

The Phantom of the Opera

Wish I had seen the play so I would have a comparisson. Fairly entertaining though especially Minnie Drivers diva.

Swordfish
Swordfish(2001)

A film laying the ground work that the government should be allowed to do anything including killing their own citizens (lots of them) if a few other guys can be stopped from killing a few more. Considering 9/11 are they right? Probably not and it doesn't matter, cookie cutter action and lame storytelling makes this a dud. Even Halle Berry's breasts can't save it.

Jurassic Park III

I was never a huge Jurassic Park fan it was just Westworld with animated dino's. However that had the advantage of being fresh this is just a retread that has been visited twice before. Better then the second one though.

Legally Blonde

A lot. Lot. Lot. Lot better then I thought this was going to be still though just average as a movie.

Starsky & Hutch

"Every '50's, 60's and '70's TV show that had even half decent ratings must be made into a movie." This seems to be the commandment of some evil genius in an overly complicated mind control plot. Is Cobra Commander a real person?
Still it was funny and I like Stiller and Wilson.

Final Destination 3
½

Refreshes the series and goes back to the fun of the first one.

When Harry Met Sally

Way overhyped! Except for Meg Ryan's diner scene this is a real snooze fest with very little either funny or romantic about it.

Cliffhanger
Cliffhanger(1993)
½

Run of the mill typical action flick about rock climbing....? Well anyway there isn't anything here you haven't seen before and it is weighed down by Stallones acting.

Twister
Twister(1996)
½

Special effects do not make up for lack of story, even if the effects are a flying cow. In fact this movie can best be compared to something the cow probably did just after it got picked up.

Richie Rich
Richie Rich(1994)

The sins of Hollywood: unoriginallity and laziness, come back to haunt the people of the world in the form of Casper before he died Richie Rich. Might be OK for kids but I can't envisiion it as more then a timewaster for even them.

Spy Kids
Spy Kids(2001)
½

Cute but not really for old guys like me.

Final Destination 2

The movie series where Death kills a bunch of people continues. The deaths are more spectacular but the story doesn't quite measure up to the 1st or the 3rd one.

Back to the Future

I was going to say I don't think anyone could not like this movie. It is fun fast paced and a classic coming of age fantasy story about time travel. However, as I was thinking about this my roomamate commented over my shoulder "Bad". So no one not grown in a vat in 1990 who also hates Goonies and the Princess Bride can not hate this movie.

Ice Age
Ice Age(2002)

I have not in general been impressed with the new wave of computer animated cartoons, but this was less sacherine then most and more importantly funny.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Not really as funny as I had heard but decent.

Jumanji
Jumanji(1995)

A movie that is more style then substance but truth to tell I liked the story of a board game run amok. It's like me playing Monopoly but with a lower body count. Good performance by Williams doing what he does best as an actor: warm fuzzy and a little confused.

Home Alone
Home Alone(1990)

Ok alot of people will point out it's cheesy but I think it is fun like an extended Warner Bros. cartoon. Not bad acting from the kid either.

Dirty Dancing
½

Nobody puts Baby in a corner! No seriously try it and Swayze starts breaking arms and legs and stuff with this old guy with long hair....Oh wait that's Roadhouse....something about Wolverines?....OH wait this is the dancing one..yeah it's alright.

Gone in 60 Seconds (Gone in Sixty Seconds)
½

Well the premise and the story probably could fit into a 1-minute short film but the did the controversial thing and went longer. So the good: it looks OK Vinnie Jones and of course Angelina Jollie. The bad: if you have seen any Nick Cage action movies you have pretty much seen this one.

Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump(1994)

Fun little movie about how everyone can play a part in the world. Takes itself a little too seriously sometimes.

Dan in Real Life
½

One of the worst movies I've seen in a while. The acting is fine, the directing is fine the writing is passable put it altogether and somehow you get drekk. Through the whole movie the main character Dan is a total scumbag, the universe of the movie is set up to make excuses for him: Oh he lost his wife. Oh he has trouble with his 3 daughters. Oh he is lonely. When you get right down to it though he acts like total narcissistic douche bag. He craps all over his brother, his daughters and his family. The movie excuses this because "It's love that really counts!" Bull. Somehow I get the feeling even if his wife was still alive this guy could make up excuses for his behaviour in chasing this woman and wallowing in his martyring self-pity.
Damn! Steve Carrell is so likable I can't imagine how nautious this movie would have made me if it was a less likable actor.
Still there is a happy ending for everyone in the movie and so all is forgiven except part where I was watching a movie that was unfunny, uninteresting and 2 hours that cost me 10 bucks.

The Darjeeling Limited

This movie is an interesting criticism of modern society. The brothers relate their love of their father to material things and their mother is a flake who puts her own spiritual well being above that of her children in essence abandoning them to seek her own cancerous path. The boys themselves chase the material and are constantly trying to dull the pain with drugs and shopping. They also are trying to chase the spiritual like a cheap high perhaps taking a note from their mothers book. But in the end where they are really alive is when they active, just living life. It really makes you think. I hate movies that do that. However, the acting is pretty good and a couple of points in the movie are quite funny so it is worth a look.

Death at a Funeral

A funeral, a pill bottle labeled vallium, a roomful of crazies and an attempt at blackmail leads to one of the funniest comedies of the year. Death has never been so funny.

The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising

Fairly standard in the fantasy fare of empowering modern children with ancient powers. A couple of points in the movie don't track, either the director was trying to be faithful to the book and it is written subtext or they chopped the story up enough in editing that no one really noticed. Either way better for kids then adults.

Shrek the Third
½

Gone on way too long. There was no reason for this movie.

Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3(2007)
½

Spider-Man does not disapoint. Venom does a little though there just isn't enough development of the bad guy characters it is just a little too jam packed with stuff.

300
300(2007)

One of the most famous battles of history is brought to the big screen in glorious style. The acting is a little stilted at points but it is still glorious.

Pulse
Pulse(2006)
½

I think this movie is called pulse because you need to check the pulse of the audience as they lapse into a coma watching this snorrer.

The Chronicles of Riddick
½

Awful. I was so bored I found myself watching everything but the screen. Terrible action, terrible dialogue, terrible acting, incomprehensible storyline. Did I mention terrible action?
Again why sequels should not be made.

Saw II
Saw II(2005)
½

So obvious and so unnecessarily bloody. I was truly horrified though, horrified that I watched this tripe.

The Legend of Zorro
½

Once again producers jam the: love the characters in the previous movie, love their precocious offspring formula down the audiences throats. There are a couple of good sword fights but overall a bust.

The Punisher
The Punisher(1989)
½

Terrible. Look for the skull pattern out of Lundgern's facial hair.

The Matrix Reloaded
½

Goddamn! This is why sequels should NOT be made.

The Lord of the Rings
½

Pretty lame. All kinds of problems in narrative and just plain bad movie making but I give 'em points for trying.

Star Trek - Nemesis
½

This movie is the nemisis of good movies.

Bruce Almighty
½

What if God gave you ultimate power what would you do? This god seems to have a sense of humour in giving his power to someone with the imagination of a fish. Bigger boobs for your wife? Really? Ultimate power? Bigger boobs? Still Carrey and Carrell are good.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
½

Stupid comedy. If you like stupid this is for you.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
½

I was so excited Star Wars was back I went and saw this 3 times at the theatre. This speaks more to the quality of the previous 3 films then the quality of this semi-dog.

You, Me and Dupree

Owen Wilson is the house guest that will not leave and ends up being the best thing for these newlyweds as it reveals the flaws in their relationship that they as yet don't see. Owen Wilson delivers a lot of the charisma.

Léon: The Professional

An assassin teaching a 13-year old girl the tricks of the trade. So inappropriate yet he still comes off as a better parent then Britanny Spears.

Fight Club
Fight Club(1999)

First rule of fight club: be absolutely crazy. Second rule of fight club: Bibble!
Not a bad movie.

Scary Movie
Scary Movie(2000)

The Wayans Bros. prove they're funny and then spend a lot of the next few years trying to convince people that they were just kidding.

Twilight Zone: The Movie

Some classic Twilight Zone moments are recreated in a movie that if it had stayed even in tone and quality could have been great.

Licence To Kill

Best of the Daltons, that is not saying much.

The Living Daylights

What can you say at least it is James Bond...kind of.

Titan A.E.
Titan A.E.(2000)

The earth is destroyed in the opening sequence and humanity is the galaxies orphans searching for a home amongst teeming alien races that won't give them a break. Something of a parable about immigration.

The Ring
The Ring(2002)

Scary little horror movie adapted from Japan. Sparks the question "What the hell is wrong with Japanese people?"

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Angelina Jolie is hot. In other news water is wet.

School of Rock

Some kids teach Jack Black a thing or two about life, while he tries to teach them something about Rock'n'Roll. Decent.

Mean Girls
Mean Girls(2004)

Lindsay Lohan how far you've fallen. This movie is back when her career had hope.

Legend
Legend(1985)

The nicest looking fantasy movie until Lord of the Rings. Plus Tim Curry is great (Although I wish Austin Powers could magically transport into the movie to ask him a question(you know the one about the horns)).
The story could have been a little stronger.

The Bourne Supremacy

Second of the Bourne movies, a fun little action flick. Who knew MAtt Damon could anchor a good action series?

House of Flying Daggers

Again this director makes the screen sing with the visuals. Everything is so....pretty. The story is just average though.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Send in the Clones! Send in the Clones...THERE ALREADY HERE!!! (now imagine I was singing that..I know lame, lame) Kinda like this movie. Better then Phantom Menace worse then anything bearing the name Star Wars should be.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Johnny Depp is always entertaining and somehow his characterization of Willy Wonka the eccentric candy shop owner as Michael Jackson is appropriate. The kid actors are pretty good too. The only criticism I have is that I am not sure if this movie needed to be made as the original still holds up.
Why don't they make remakes of the bad movies as the good ones are still perfectly fine.

The Evil Dead
½

OK the efeects aren't as cool as the later movies. The edges are a little rough. Still the seeds of brilliance are sown and Bruce Campbell even back at the beggining of his carrer focusses your attention with his undeniable cool.

10 Things I Hate About You
½

I went expecting to mildly loathe this one and came out appreciating how even Shakespeare's half decent plays stand the test of time.Julia Stiles is quite good as the shrew.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Best Terminator movie and the best James Cameron movie.
Linda Hamilton is the centre of this movie.

The Faculty
The Faculty(1998)

Teachers and parents are your enemy. Well maybe not but I can understand the feeling that sometimes you might think they are.

The Wizard of Oz

I watched this a million times as a kid and the transition from black and white to colour still hits me as magic. A classic.

The Iron Giant
½

Another of those freak atmospheric moisture occurences around my eyes. This movie is superman.

X2: X-Men United
½

A sequel better then the original. One of the best comic to movie adaptations, where the movie producers start finally to treat the characters with some respect.

Hellboy
Hellboy(2004)
½

Never really heard of Hellboy until I saw this movie and it has caused me to go out and buy a lot of extra novels about him. If that isn't recomendation enough, try finding another picture where the main thrust of the story is a cat loving, hard drinking, hard fighting demon who must fight Rasputin and a clockwork Nazi to save the world from Ctlhulu.
Very cool.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
½

The only reason this movie gets a passing grade is it does have some genuine laughs. Plus, Kevin James is almost always good...however this is an Adam Sandler movie and most of the time he is on screen he kind of sucks the life out of the picture. The problem is that his character is a creep . He almost seems to redeem himself at parts of the film but even up to the end he still feels ..I dunno ..unclean...oily. Usually I like Adam Sandler, so I am not sure what he is going for in this part.
Some people may debate whether this movie is offensive to gay people. I don't think it is because it's underlying theme like all of Sandler's comedies ad nauseum is to be yourself. Good message. Who it is insulting to however is women. There is not a good female part in this movie. Biel's character is a bit of an airhead and her response to Sandler's deception and the creepy (there's that word again) way he used it is pretty underwhelming. Every other woman here is pretty much just there to wear tight clothing and to sleep with Sandler's character as far as I can tell, objects for lust. Even James' dead wife is portrayed as an impediment, Sandlers constant message to James in the movie is "Get over her."
One of the most mysoginistic movies ever.

The Brothers Solomon

It's OK. I think a lot of the plot points are just a little too obvious including the "baby twist". Most of it you see coming from a mile off but it still has some laughs and the main too characters are so off beat and unusual it mostly works.

Balls of Fury

The suprise of the summer for me. I went in to this movie with low expectations, not because I had any doubts about the talent involved but just because most comedy movies tend to disolve into dumber and dumber gags to get you to laugh. Don't get me wrong there are some dumb gags here but it is hung on a strongly written core story that is a parody of martial arts/sports movies. If you are a fan of Enter the Dragon this is the movie for you. Also little shots are taken at other movies including Dragon (nice casting of Jason Scott Lee) and the stupidity of American sports coverage.
Best comedy of the summer barring perhaps Knocked Up.

Mr. Bean's Holiday
½

If you like Mr. Bean well then you have probably seen this movie. If you don't know who Mr.Bean is and you are looking for a fun warm family comedy then this is a good movie to find out.
Much better then the first Mr.Bean movie.

2 Days in Paris
½

Funny. Though I can't for a moment believe that any group of people are that screwed up even the French and I lost touch with Delpy's character.

The Last Legion

Ok, far from perfect. Still better then King Arthurand more accurate except from the lame tacked on ending. Plus Ms.Rai is awesomely hot.

Shoot 'Em Up
Shoot 'Em Up(2007)
½

If you go to see action movies and always end up talking to the person beside you and saying "Oh, come on! That is totally unrealistic!" First off, shut up and stay out of movie theatres.. Secondly, this is not the movie for you. There is no attempt to portray any level of reality, this movie is just a series of scenes where the director has said "You know what would be cool in an action movie.." and it delivers: lots of action, lots of over the top characters and a fairly fresh funny satire of action movies.
Worth a look.

Stardust
Stardust(2007)
½

Ambitious movie that crosses genres and expectations.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Good movie with lots of action, perhaps the only down side is the music video style of action with camera shake that seems to be all the rage.

Superbad
Superbad(2007)
½

Not as good for me as Knocked Up but still hilarious. Apatow and Rogen have the touch when it comes to comedy.

War (Rogue Assassin)

There could be a little more action and the ending regarding Statham's character could have been better thought out but overall it is a decent attempt with 2 of the best action stars in the biz.

Knocked Up
Knocked Up(2007)

What can you say, it's funny.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End
½

It finishes. Lots of explosions lots of twisting storylines going nowhere. In otherwords typical of the series. Depp is entertaining and so it is a good popcorn movie if not a good movie.

Live Free or Die Hard
½

Best Die Hard since the first one, still I wouldn't have minded if Willis's character had of died so Maggie Q's could live.

I Know Who Killed Me
½

Someone should have killed this movie. If this is a good example of Lohan's acting ability I am glad her career is over she is more wooden then then the prosthetics (yes I know they are plastic)

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Better then the first one and much more like the comic but it still has a way to go before it is actually a great superhero movie. A little more action would have been nice.

The Simpsons Movie
½

Back to the glory of the Simpsons or at least it has gone back to the quality of at least 5 years ago.

Transformers
Transformers(2007)
½

Of all the possible films Michael Bay could possibly make about a cartoon based upon a series of toy robots from the '80's this is probably the best result you could hope for.Again a little too much shake on the action sequences I wish directors would stop that.

Ocean's Thirteen

Better then the second one but better then godawful is still pretty bad.

1408
1408(2007)

Creepy atmosphere and a fair pace keeps this movie ticking along. It is perhaps a little short on story but makes up for it with the acting.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
½

Decent effort stays true to the series.

Bean
Bean(1997)

Doesn't really translate from the TV show but Atkinson is still brilliant.

Wall Street
Wall Street(1987)

Greed is good. The movie is half-decent. I believe one of those two statements.

Big
Big(1988)
½

Tom Hanks makes his first real claim to superstardom in this feel good movie about learning to be patient.

Troy
Troy(2004)
½

The only good part of this film is Eric Bana and considering that he is on screen with heavyweights like Brad Pitt and Peter O'Toole that is saying something.

Cruel Intentions

Sarah Michelle Gellar vamps up the silver screen and the rest of the cast isn't too bad either in this update of the classic story Liasons Dangeruese.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Classic childrens movie about candy, can't miss for kids.

Minority Report

Tom Cruise/Phillip K. Dick vision of the future. Fairly decent.

Zoolander
Zoolander(2001)
½

First real gasoline fight I have ever seen on screen. Stiller takes satirical aim at the fashion industryand surprise he is able to hit a lot. Frankie Goes Hollywood's Relax has never been so sinister.

Alien Resurrection

I am not much for the Alien series and this was another one.

Shanghai Noon

Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson show genuine buddy chemistry in this East meet Western action comedy.

The Hudsucker Proxy

Quirky little movie about corporate success.

The Addams Family

One of the better TV show to movie adaptations.

Mad Max
Mad Max(1979)

Low Budget Austrailian Post Apocalyptic Sci-Fi movie. Pretty good, first thing I saw Mel G in.

Beverly Hills Cop

The movie that launched Eddie Murphy's career and Judge Reinholds'.

Scarface
Scarface(1983)
½

Incredibly violent movie that almost doesn't glamourize being a mobster. Rare for Hollywood.

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

The movie that taught me the most about life, especially the part about not going into French restaurants that have buckets on hand.

Payback
Payback(1999)

Mel Gibson chews the scenery as a career criminal making a moral stand against the mob for $75,000. Featuring a lot of good actors making a quick exit in unexpected fashions.

Creepshow
Creepshow(1982)

Some really good stories of true horror bound by how cheap some of it looks.

Major League II

It comes back with another round of baseball. Nothing special.

Mission: Impossible 2

John Woo directs and while the action is still hype the constant face switching is just annoying.

What Women Want

Fun manges to gloss over the absolute horror that would occur if you actually saw into the dark recesses of other peoples minds. Maybe that is just me...

The Time Machine

Upbudget version of the HG Wells story kind of ruins it but if you don't know the story it passes.

Enter the Ninja

Throwaway cheep martial arts flick.

An American Werewolf in Paris

Should have left the story in London.

The Great Muppet Caper

The second of the Henson Muppet movies and almost as funny as the first.

Conspiracy Theory

Perhaps Julia Roberts best movie in that I could get through it.

The Crow - Salvation

Also better then the second movie though many probably stayed away because of it.

Dragonslayer
Dragonslayer(1981)

The dragon is pretty genuinely scary. Keeps the tension high.

The Crow: Stairway to Heaven

The TV show is even bettter then the 2nd movie.

Bowfinger
Bowfinger(1999)

Brilliantly funny. Eddie Murphy plays a dual role as he so often does.

The Sword in the Stone
½

I liked this better then the book.

The Neverending Story
½

Well the story did end so I was disapointed in that bit of advertising but a good movie for kids.

Muppet Treasure Island

Muppets are just entertaining.

The One
The One(2001)
½

I really ejoyed the action and the story was interesting too.

Blade II
Blade II(2002)

OK action. The characters and their looks ripped off directly from the Vampire roleplaying game.

The Producers

I liked the original better but Ferrels Nazi is pretty good.

The Tuxedo
The Tuxedo(2002)

Jackie Chan teams up with Jennifer Love Hewitt and special effects magic to supplement his comedy and physicality. Keeps you entertained.

Clear and Present Danger

The war America wishes it could win. Silly idealism made palatable by Ford.

Hot Shots!
Hot Shots!(1991)
½

One of the best of these type of movies since Naked Gun.

28 Days Later

If you like Zombies this is definitely OK.

Stuck on You
Stuck on You(2003)
½

Suprisingly one of the sweetest movies you might ever see. Yup suprise its a Farelly brothers movie.

Cursed
Cursed(2005)

A light movie about werewolves. Doesn't seem that bad to me, except for the getting people clothes stuck in your teeth

Weird Science

Kelly LeBrock is so hot in this movie. I am sure this made a lot of geeks study extra hard in science just to see if this was possible.

Footloose
Footloose(1984)

Ah to be in a world where dancing is the big evil a town faced.

Beowulf & Grendel

The movie is perhaps a little too authentic to the story. The 8th century guys didn't exactly write for the screen in mind.

A Christmas Carol

The classic Christmas movie, good to watch around , well, Christmas.

Fright Night
Fright Night(1985)
½

Amanda Bearse (Marcy D'Arcy) looks really good in this movie, man I wonder what Al was talking about.

Beverly Hills Cop II

Axel Foley is back and this right here should have been a warning sign for Eddie Murphy in his career.

Brewster's Millions

One of the better Richard Pryor films.

The Frighteners
½

Peter Jackson gets fhis first chance to unleash his weirdness and brilliance in a big Hollywood format and he does not disapoint, didn't get the reception it deserved.

Romeo Must Die

Jet Li can't do bad action.

Tremors
Tremors(1990)
½

Giant worms terrorize a small desert town and makes horror movies fun again and not just about slashers. Funny because Kevin Bacon was in the first Friday 13th and that made the slasher movie popular.

The Hitcher
The Hitcher(1986)
½

One of the better horror movies for my money. Rutger Hauer is always a presence that will bring atmosphere to the screen and this time it is fear. I still sometimes look at my french fries funny when I am eating them.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

A really hard book to adapt but I still thought it was quite funny. Worth a look if only to try and break out of your mind and try to think about the galaxy as a whole.

The Whole Nine Yards
½

Perry, Willis and Peet combine in this light hearted romp about assasination and dentistry to make a fairly effective comedy force. The next movie goes about a yard to far and falls so flat you won't believe it.

Bloodsport
Bloodsport(1988)

Some really good fight sequences based looselyof the real life of Frank Dux. Their next collaboration The Quest isn't nearly as good.

Fantasia
Fantasia(1940)

Classical music and animation combine in this Disney Classic. My favourite is A Night on Bald Mountain.

The Dead Pool

Dirty Harry takes on a mad serial killer, always a good time. Features an early cameo by Jim Carrey at the beginning and helped launch the career of Guns and Roses thanks to its soundtrack.

Sahara
Sahara(2005)
½

Dirk Pitt comes to the big screen and right out of the books in this fun adventure movie. Very reminiscent of Romancing the Stone though less silly but perhaps even more fun.

The Fugitive
The Fugitive(1993)
½

Unfortunately this movie is really good. Why unfortunate? Well this was near the beginning of the Hollywood starts remaking old TV shows phase. If this movie had of crashed and burned perhaps we would have been spared many other travesties.

Mortal Kombat
½

My personal favourite of video game movie adaptations. With its pulse pounding techno score (I hate that music generally but it works here) and its slick action sequences you won't notice that they stick really closely to the plot of the video game (It doesn't have much).

The Great Outdoors
½

Sure not all of it is gold but John Candy is a comic genius and he has a real gift for slapstick. There is plenty of it in this backwoods adventure.

The Rundown
The Rundown(2003)
½

The Rock shows there is more to him then flexing pecks in this action comedy. Walken is brilliant as the bad guy who relates disapointment to the tooth fairy.

Batman
Batman(2002)

Though the cartoon hadn't truly perfected its style yet these are some good episodes especially the Mr. Freeze "Heart of Ice" episode. Shows what some imagination while respecting your characters can do for a francise.

TRON
TRON(1982)
½

Prof. Frink- To explain what 3-D is like have you ever seen the movie Tron?
All the many people assembled - No.
Me-Yup and I really liked it.

The Sixth Sense
½

This movie really spoke to me, you see: I see dead people too. So I understand the pain this kid is going through in this touching semi-docudrama.
As such though I din't really understand where people said there was a twist. I'd write more but Mark Twain is telling me this is a lame review.

The Brothers Grimm
½

Fun movie with a good premise. As a fan of fairy tales the only criticism I have is that it isn't Grimm enough. Where are the grandmothers getting eaten by wolves?

Bubba Ho-Tep
Bubba Ho-Tep(2003)

Bruce Campbell is the man.
Elvis and a black-JFK vs a mummy! All relics of the past fighting it out in a old age home where you get the feeling that society would just like to forget them.
Fun!

The Punisher
The Punisher(2004)

A true surprise. Thomas Jane is really good as the one man war against crime. Don't confuse this for the terrible Dolph Lundgren version. Or do, your funeral.

The Princess Bride

A great movie with some classic moments. Andre the Giant's only role that I know of, a shame as he really projects some quality pathos. I wish he had of got some more time and experience.

Desperado
Desperado(1995)

I think Robert Rodriguez outcools his buddy Mr. T I tend to like his movies better. One thing though, guns in music cases? Thats just crazy!

The Crow
The Crow(1994)

Brandon Lee's death performance. A true shame because this movie showed how truly great he could have been as a lead actor given the right material.

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
½

This movie will swallow your soul. Well maybe not but you'll like it a whole lot. Bruce Campbell is cool.

Hawk the Slayer

OK some of this rating is just to tick people off. :-)
I would like to point out though that this movie is an adaptation of the Seven Samurai, a classic movie.
That said everything else is just tremendously bad. You can see the ropes on the "mindsword", Jack Palance's performance as the evil Voltan is hovering slightly above the peak of Everest (though to be fair to Mr Palance he usually starts somewhere around there), while the actor who plays the elf dials so far back on his acting he makes the Star Trek Vulcan's (from which he obviously stole his idea for his character) look like weeping emotional crybabies. Also look for Jack's dad from "Lost" as the titular Hawk.
A must see.

Independence Day
½

Say I thought Mac's couldn't be affected by viruses. Boy but they can sure dish 'em out. Perhaps Mac users are responsible for all the viruses in the world.

Star Trek V - The Final Frontier
½

Shatner finally answers the question who wins in a fight of God vs Kirk. No contest Kirk has the Corbomite manuver.

Men in Black
Men in Black(1997)

Takes the old urban legend about government "Men in BlacK" and gives them a positive spin. Smith and Jones have good chemistry.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Decent comedy Will Ferrell can not hold a film on his own comedic merrits but fortunately he has lots of help with this one. Gary Cole is especially good as his deadbeat father with suprising access to cougars.

Rush Hour
Rush Hour(1998)
½

Jackie Chan pairs up with Chris Tucker. Chan does the action and Tucker does the talking...a lot of talking. Same formula as Shanghai Noon except I like Wilson better as he is less abrasive.

For Your Eyes Only

I loved this movie poster!

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Star Trek comes back thanks to a wave of fan geekdom. Alan Dean Foster adapts an old Star Trek episode (you know the one with the space probe) and hopes that no one will notice.
Damn I was hoping that Lucas would make Splinter of the Minds Eye off this one.

The Quick and the Dead

Sam Raimi makes a gunfight movie and makes it as stylish and cool as he possibly can. Look for Leo Dicaprio to be actually mostly watchable for a change.

Weekend at Bernie's

Ever have to pretend your boss is still alive. Ever have to convince a room full of people that he is still alive by manipulating him with strings. Well this is a how to guide.

Josie and the Pussycats
½

So fun and yet so insidiously clever. The movie makes fun of product placement and the way the media tries to control the youth, yet at the same time the movie is obviously costing the producers nothing as it is chock-a-block full of product placement.
Beleive it or not Tara Reid manages to steal the best scenes in this one. No really!

Crocodile Dundee

An Aussie outback hunter is a fish out of water in New York City. Was during America's fascination with Australia. Paul Hogan is pretty charismatic on screen.

Mission: Impossible

A decent action movie except for the Chunnel scene. However, making the hero of the TV series the villian so that it can launch the Tom Cruise character is just dumb. If they want to launch a whole new character why even tie it to the show?

Tomorrow Never Dies

Michelle Yeoh is awesome, that said evil newspaper guy creating wars to sell newspapers is a little lame.

Wayne's World 2

Wayne's world comes back and unfortunately falls into most of the same jokes as the first one. Funny but not Myers best work.

Splash
Splash(1984)

Tom Hanks falls for a mermaid. John Candy and Eugene Levy are the true stars of this film.

Batman Returns

Burton's Batman is back and suddenly one villian isn't enough. The many villian thing is a convention that will haunt the rest of the series. Still better then the 2 that will follow.
Another travesty is that the producers thought that Michelle Pfiefers butt needed padding.

American Pie
American Pie(1999)

No pastry is safe and not gross out too much for a group of teenagers looking to lose there virginity. Doesn't end with the atypical formula that teen movies usually end with.

Octopussy
Octopussy(1983)

Best Bond title ever!!! OK'est Bond movie ever!!!!

Spaceballs
Spaceballs(1987)

Worth it just for Moranis's Dark Helmet character.

Police Academy

OK this movie is all cheese with every cliche in the movie biz, but somehow it works. Even with Guttenberg's smirking.

The Cable Guy
½

Underrated Jim Carrey movie where an obsessed lonely cable guy inserts himself into every aspect of his clients life. Personally I really would love to fight at Medieval Times with one of those Star Trek sticks.

Memento
Memento(2000)

If you've never seen this before, see it now. If you have seen it don't watch it again. Once you know the twist and seen the unique way in which the story unfolds there is nothing really to this movie.

The Beastmaster
½

Good fantasy with a mostly naked Tania Roberts what is not to like. Keep in mind while looking at the costumes they shot this movie in the winter. Sure its warm in Cali, but not that warm.

The Fly
The Fly(1986)

Once upon a time David Cronenberg made a weird film. This one was a remake.

Little Shop of Horrors

I miss Rick Moranis. He is just so good and so sympathetic on screen. Steve Martin is good as the sadist dentist and Bill Murray is better as the masochist patient making his life hell.

Rush Hour 2
Rush Hour 2(2001)

The action is better then the first one but the Tucker part wears a little more.

Unleashed
Unleashed(2005)

Jet Li can't do bad action but the story line with the family teaching him to be human drags a little.

Saving Silverman

Good performances all the way around elevate some fairly elementary material. Lots of Neil Diamond music not for the faint of heart.

Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice(1988)

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!
Makes your head spin!

Lean on Me
Lean on Me(1989)

Morgan Freeman gives a pretty damn good performance and makes the movie interesting even though this kind of story has been done to death.

The Hunger
The Hunger(1983)
½

Only worth seeing for the performance by David Bowie and maybe the naked girls.

Clash of the Titans
½

Claymation figurines romp through Greek legend and leave a satisfied audience.

Paycheck
Paycheck(2003)

John Woo can't seem to get a steady North American movie career going. Not a bad movie just not as brilliant as he is capable of.

Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes

Tarzan comes to England. A little slow for a movie about the King of the jungle.

Blast From the Past
½

Fun clash of cultures between a kid raised with 1950's values in a bombshelter meeting the modern world. Walken and Spacek are good as the parents.

The Exorcist
The Exorcist(1973)

Its OK. I am not a huge fan of horror. Plus I wasn't particularly sucked into the whole devil storyline. Perhaps it will be better for you.

The Animatrix

Some decent moments though not even in quality right across the line.

Gladiator
Gladiator(2000)
½

Rome embraces its American destiny and overthrows the Empire for Republic. What? That never happened? Just like my enjoyment of this film.
Russel Crowe does do some good fight scenes though, even without a telephone.

Underworld: Evolution

I really liked this sequel perhaps more then the original. The action comes fast and furious and if you ignore the shred of plot it is a lot of fun.

Strange Brew
Strange Brew(1983)

Bob and Doug bring Canadianna to the world in this adaptation of Hamlet.

Superman
Superman(1978)

The Man of Steel, Tomorrow , Last Son of Krypton, etc, etc. comes to the big screen in one of the best comic book movies of all time. Gene Hackman is really good as the diabollical Lex Luthor.

Live and Let Die

Jane Seymour is sooo pretty! How pretty is she? When she pretties around the the house she pretties AROUND the house.

Me, Myself & Irene

Everything goes wrong for Jim Carrey and it fractures his personality. His "sons" steal the movie.

The Osterman Weekend

How much do you know about your friends? A secret agent uses a reporters curiosity against him in an attempt to uncover a spy among his friends. Makes you think about human nature and the things you don't know about the people closest to you.

So I Married an Axe Murderer
½

An overlooked gem from the man who gave us Ausin Powers and Wayne Campbell.

Vampire Hunter D
½

Pretty good anime about, surprise, a vampire hunter.

GoodFellas
GoodFellas(1990)

I'm not a huge fan of gangsters.

Drop Dead Gorgeous
½

A docu-comedy in the style of Spinal Tap, pretty well done.

Freddy vs. Jason

The two major villians of two of horrors longest running horror series come to blows in a who'd win scenario that people play a lot with superheroes. Could have been worse.

Rain Man
Rain Man(1988)

Definitely OK. Definitely.

Clerks
Clerks(2001)
½

If only what little I have seen of the movie had have been as funny as this series.

Last Action Hero

Unfairly criticised movie, decent action entertainment with a inventive premise.

Ocean's 11
Ocean's 11(1960)

The rat pack has so much fun with this movie you will too. The ending is much better then the remake.

Innocent Blood
½

Could have been better, I am not so keen on vampires for vampires sake.

Hang 'em High
½

Clint Eastwood does westerns so well. Tries to find the line between justice and revenge.

48 HRS
48 HRS(1982)

This movie made Eddie Murphy and Nick Noltes film careers.

The Italian Job
½

One of the few where I liked the remake better then the original. Not that there is anything wrong with the original.

Meet the Parents

A lot better hen I was expecting because of Deniro's involvement. He actually does comedy alright.

Wayne's World
½

Party time excellent! The Scooby-doo ending.

Uncle Buck
Uncle Buck(1989)
½

John Candy is alway brilliant and this is no exception as the outsider uncle trying to get to know his estranged brothers offspring.

The Muppet Christmas Carol
½

Muppets are almost always fun for the family and Michael Caine is always good.

From Hell
From Hell(2001)

Mr. Depp is wasted on this thin Jack the Ripper tale.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off
½

Makes me wish I had skipped more at school.

The Jungle Book
½

Watching this movie is the bare necessities.

Maverick
Maverick(1994)

there is nothing about this movie that isn't fun.

Predator
Predator(1987)

Good action movie, where an intergalactic hunter looks for a challenge.

Hostage
Hostage(2005)

Liked the killer who reminds me of the spider.

Office Space
Office Space(1999)
½

IF you don't watch this movie I'll burn this site down.

Star Trek: First Contact

Best of the Next Gen movies. Resistance is feudal, it occurs at knight.

The 6th Day
The 6th Day(2000)

Cloning plot is a little thin and Arnold already looks like he is just thinking about his pollitical career.

Big Trouble in Little China

Kurt Russell and John Carpenter can do no wrong together. ...well maybe Escape from LA.

Child's Play
Child's Play(1988)

Scary doll? Well they kinda did it.

The Great Escape

Steve McQueen is so cool in this movie of soldiers escaping from Nazi's to get back to the war.

Gremlins
Gremlins(1984)
½

A good movie for kids or adults that feel like kids. Plus Phoebe Cates.

Three Amigos!

By not watching this movie you are killing the invisible swordsman. I hope you are happy.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
½

I really liked the idea of taking victorian literary characters and showing them as superheroes.

Batman & Mr. Freeze: Subzero

Would have been better without the mixing of computer animation with the classic animation. Very distracting.

Revenge of the Nerds

Classic tale of nerds versus jocks with some wrangling over debutants.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Seemed OK. I was surprised.

Mars Attacks!
½

Goes on far too long with a very thin joke.

Batman Beyond: The Movie

Not as good as its originating series Batman:TAS but still decent.

The Blues Brothers
½

Fun movie where two Brothers are opposed by every armed forces official in three states in an attempt to pay off a nuns outstanding property taxes. Look for Carrie Fisher with a machine gun.

Rob Roy
Rob Roy(1995)

The plight of the Highlanders is examined in this very slow moving film. The sword fight at the end is worth the price of admission.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

My favourite of the A & C movies. Hey Aaaabooottt!

Psycho
Psycho(1960)

One of the creepiest movies made by the master of suspense Hitchcock.

The Bourne Identity
½

Good action movie where Matt Damon makes a suprisingly effective action star.

A Charlie Brown Christmas
½

The classic of the Charlie Brown series. Charlie Brown tries to save the spirit of Christmas and a tiny Christmas tree.

Lethal Weapon 3

Weakest of the Leathal Weapons , seemed like they had lost some of the entusiasm.

The Godfather, Part III
½

The saga continues, everytime I think I am out they keep dragging me back in.

Young Guns II
½

My favourite scenes were with Arkansas Dave Rudibagh and his need to be famous.

Never Say Never Again
½

The non-official Bond movie where Sean Connery is well past his prime. Still better then the Daltons.

La Bamba
La Bamba(1987)
½

Made me want to know more about Ritchie Vallens and that is what a movie like this should do. Perhaps one of the bes of these biopics.

I Spy
I Spy(2002)
½

I wish they hadn't made this movie I really liked the TV show.

Smokey and the Bandit
½

Burt Reynold vs. Jackie Gleason in this Bandit vs. Smokie tale that is just fun.

Nacho Libre
Nacho Libre(2006)
½

Some really good wrestling sequences combined with a pretty decent performance by Jack Black.

Airplane 2 - The Sequel
½

A lot of the same jokes as the first one still funny though.

The Nightmare Before Christmas
½

Jack Skellington brings us his version of Christmas.

Total Recall
Total Recall(1990)

Bad day to be riding the escalator. I like the way it is never resolved if it is real or it is all a dream. Remember the Recall program that he was going under was Blue Skies over Mars.

Poltergeist
Poltergeist(1982)

I'm not 'fraid of no ghosts.

Wild Things
Wild Things(1998)

Fun movie that twists and then twists again. Neve Campbell is the standout in this one.

For a Few Dollars More (Per Qualche Dollaro in Più)
½

Not as good as Fistful of Dollars or Good the Bad and the Ugly but Eastwood and Van Cleef have good buddy chemistry.

Johnny Mnemonic