Xpocalypse S.'s Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Meatball Machine
9 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

Survival lessons: Don't pick fights with crossdressers. Underneath the dress they are still a man and kicks from high heels really hurt. I'm not saying that you shouldn't pick up strange alien devices out of the garbage. Who hasn't right? Just don't stash them in your closet.

Hell
Hell (2011)
9 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Survival lessons: Water is the most valuable substance on the planet. Nature won't let that be ignored for very long. In the apocalypse, be wary of people who are too nice. Desperate people can quickly cease to be human. It's been said a billion times before but evidently not enough: finish your opponent when they are down. Learn to tell the difference between diesel and regular gas. Roadblocks are usually up for a reason.

FDR: American Badass!
9 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Survival lessons: If you're trying to ditch an annoying kid with polio who idolizes you, tell him you'll come play catch on the 6th Tuesday of July. Admittedly, a chick with a hot dog fetish who walks around with ketchup and mustard bottles strapped to her thighs is kind of weird, sometimes you have to take what you can get. Crapping in a vase in front of people is never cool, bro. Not even in the apocalypse. Just don't do it.

Robotropolis
Robotropolis (2011)
9 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

Survival lessons: If you build a robot it will eventually try and kill you. Your fail-safes won't work. Your kill-codes won't work. Just don't do it. Other than that, I'd have to agree with Zombieland's number 1 rule: Cardio. Seriously, if you can't run 10 miles at a decent pace, you're done for.

Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn
9 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Survival lessons: Avoid absolutists. Only fools and idiots stop questioning things. One of the greatest threats any group will ever face is themselves. Leave the drama at home. Most of the time enemies aren't enemies because of who they are but because of what we imagine them to be. When you have a spare moment, find a soft pair of lips to kiss. It's always worth it.